Yes, that does surprise us about Paris Hilton
Posted on February 5th, 2008 – 2:44 PMBy Michael Rand
Maybe we’ve been pretty much under a cave when it comes to Paris Hilton, but it came as a surprise — and when we say surprise, we mean it in the, “Hey, our pants are on fire!” kind of way — when we learned (via Roughkat) that Paris Hilton is quite the hockey player. Yep, for real. Normally, we don’t give much of a [redacted] about no-talent socialites, but we thought we’d make Jon’s heart stop beating for fun. Per People Magazine: As for what might surprise strangers about Hilton, the socialite says, “I’m really good at ice hockey. I’ve been playing since 10th grade, and people don’t know that I play defense in hockey. I like to check people, push people down. And I love fishing. I like to catch them, but I don’t eat them. I just put them right back, because I feel bad for them.”
No word about whether the fish then jumps back into her arms because it, in turn, feels bad for her. But yeah, Paris Hilton used to be a hockey player. On the list of things we never knew but could have guessed at, this falls right below those suspicions we’ve always harbored that Don Shula and Shaq are really the same person.
25 Responses to "Yes, that does surprise us about Paris Hilton"
Credit this one to the special lady. People.com is her homepage.
She’s got my early vote for COW but I’m biased.
Who’s Paris Hilton. Are they related to Hilton Armstrong?
Was Paris Hilton also a jockey at Canterbury Park?
jama - I think you’re thinking of Rick Salomon Park.
People.com is her homepage.
Can you ask her if Matthew McConaughey is really ready to be a father? I sure hope he is, because I really like his movies!
jama - I think you’re thinking of Rick Salomon Park
+1, minimum.
Rick Salomon Park? Wasn’t he one of the original members of the Minnesota Wild?
Catch and release and playing D ? I bet she did both in jail.
Rand
FYI, if you are going to include Kim Kardashian in any future pictures, the least you could do is show her best assets!
stu, to answer your question, Mr. McConaughey says about his impending fatherhood: “Make no doubt about it. My kid will dance. He will be on the beach and he will be taking hikes with a wild bandana on.” (people.com)
I think it’s obvious that he’s more than ready.
Hoc-key??
Is there any proof that she played hockey other than that grainy picture?
That picture looks to me like it could be actual proof that aliens exist.
I have heard that Hilton is a good stick handler though…
good one, jama
did I really say “under a cave?”
This falls right below those suspicions we’ve always harbored that Don Shula and Shaq are really the same person.
Can RandBall get COW votes? That right there is worth +3 or +4 or so.
I suppose you could be living under a cave. You’d get even worse reception of the E! Network down there…
If a grainy picture is proof of participation in a sport, I’m sending in a pict of my Gold Medal Downhill performance in Calgary. I also played some hockey there as well and was penalized for checking Paris Hilton from behind. No butt as I remember it, but worth the time in the penalty box.
I think a certain Chief Commander once said that Osama Bin Laden is hiding under a cave.
Rand you could be the next president of the U.S with statements like that.
Randball: Running for President in 2016
Speaking of Osama (if the Homeland Insecurity people will let me) reminds me of going to a football game in Fla when I was enrolled there. We were playing Alabama, a team where calling someone a redneck was a real compliment. Anyway, they had this awful repetitive cheer that went like “Go bama bama, go bama mama” that went on for weeks it seemed where justifiable homocide was in order. I hated ‘Bama.
I bring that up now since every time I see an Obama ad (which is whenever I turn on the tv or answer the door) I hear that Go bama bama cheer. I sure hope I don’t launch into that cheer at the caucus tonight, since I think people are on the lookout for me, but I probably shouldn’t talk about that…
WASHINGTON DC (1-21-17): Newly inaugurated President Michael Rand today issued his first Executive Order today…
Commenters, what would this be?
I agree with jama. No more pictures of Kim Kardashian without Reggie Bush.
fasolamatt: Every Friday will be “No Pants Friday”
…and a no dress day
Well I would assume that Rand would be an independant that way his mascot could be a COW. Who needs elephants and donkeys when you have a COW.
I would guess that his first executive order would be for a couple dozen chicken wings and maybe a pitcher of fat tire.
I’d imagine that Paris’ hockey opponents had no trouble slipping it between the pads.
