Maybe we’ve been pretty much under a cave when it comes to Paris Hilton, but it came as a surprise — and when we say surprise, we mean it in the, “Hey, our pants are on fire!” kind of way — when we learned (via Roughkat) that Paris Hilton is quite the hockey player. Yep, for real. Normally, we don’t give much of a [redacted] about no-talent socialites, but we thought we’d make Jon’s heart stop beating for fun. Per People Magazine: As for what might surprise strangers about Hilton, the socialite says, “I’m really good at ice hockey. I’ve been playing since 10th grade, and people don’t know that I play defense in hockey. I like to check people, push people down. And I love fishing. I like to catch them, but I don’t eat them. I just put them right back, because I feel bad for them.”

No word about whether the fish then jumps back into her arms because it, in turn, feels bad for her. But yeah, Paris Hilton used to be a hockey player. On the list of things we never knew but could have guessed at, this falls right below those suspicions we’ve always harbored that Don Shula and Shaq are really the same person.

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