They shall call him Maximus Szczerbiak
Posted on February 13th, 2008 – 11:52 AMBy Michael Rand
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A great find from Fasolamatt, who apparently scours the Tacoma paper looking for items of interest for us. Well, it’s paid off. It appears former Timberwolves player Wally Szczerbiak is expecting his first son to be born in a few weeks. And the boy’s name? Well, that’s already been picked out.
The SuperSonics veterans have been mentioned for weeks in trade speculation, and with the Feb. 21 trade deadline creeping closer, so too, perhaps, is the end of their careers in Seattle. For his part, Szczerbiak has packed and moved his family to his native New York – but not in anticipation of being dealt. Szczerbiak and his wife, Shannon, expect their third child and first son, Maximus, on March 1 in a scheduled C-section. (Why Maximus? Szczerbiak is a fan of the movie “Gladiator,” in which the lead character bears that name.)
Do you like Gladiator movies?
29 Responses to "They shall call him Maximus Szczerbiak"
Have you ever been to a Turkish prison?
Also, a note to Mrs. Thompson’s second-grade class of 2016: I know you want to beat up Maximus Szczerbiak purely on principle, but have mercy. It’s not his fault that he has the silliest name of the century.
Have you ever crawled to freedom through five-hundred yards of [redacted] smelling foulness I can’t even imagine?
I’m sure their second choice was “Kevin”. Maybe that’ll end up as Maximus’ middle name.
His favorite movie could have been Beethoven or Amedeus.
What day is the new Movie Quotes segment?
Age old argument: Which do you like better, “Airplane” or “Airplane 2″?
Close, except for Shatner giving the greatest comedic cameo performance in movie history other than Martin Short in “The Big Picture”.
I’ll always remember being introduced to a slightly inebriated (as was I) Julie Hagerty. The first thing I told her was how much I enjoyed her in “Airplane 2″. She seemed geniunely touched. She’s very tall.
Wally seems like the kind of guy that would name his kid after himself. I’m shocked they aren’t going with Wally Jr.
Why not try and get money from Disney and name him WALL-E?
If you think about it, nothing sounds good with Szczerbiak anyway. Clearly, he should bear his proud father’s name in the middle: Maximus Wally.
Gladiator ruined me for any other Russell Crowe movie. He’ll never look that hot again (skirt be damned.)
Fightin’ ‘Round the World!
Though I know the Greeks and Romans were incestuous with the Romans ripping off much of the early Greek culture, there was a Roman philospher/athlete back then as they often were (no lie. I studied Latin for 4 years) named “Paulos”…don’t know his sprint times, but it was rumored that once he was forced to leave a race very early upon seeing a Gawdawful ugly purple gauntlet on the hands of a competitor..
Why do I read his ^^^ posts???
Just wait until 3rd grade health class when his class learns what the butt muscle is called. He’ll be called “Gluteus” until junior high, and “Assface” until college.
Go with Max Power Sczerbiak. Max Power does not snuggle. You just strap yourself in and feel the G’s.
You got that name off a hairdryer
He could be called McLovin.
dano, my man. If you were referring to my posts above, (and you may not have been) you probably read them…let me take a leap of faith here..because often they are pretty good. Gotta admit that. Actually you don’t “gotta admit that” and probably won’t, leaving me lost and lonely and tossed away like an old sock…
I am Spartacus I am Spartacus I am Spartacus
Are you not entertained?!?!
Seriously, Maximus, are you not? Because I could put the Little Einsteins back in…
AZGopherGirl: +1.
SCH +1.
I’ll second the SCH +1. Still chuckling over it 45 minutes after reading it.
The big problem with that skirt-like clothing that gladiators wore is that if women wear skirts it’s quite nice and apeeeling to sit back and wonder what’s within while if men wear skirts, it’s just sort of pukus (Latin for rendering one to puke)
Okay. I think if he wants to name his kid Maximus, he should. I mean Max isn’t a bad name. And when Max grows up and becomes a pro basketball player like his dad and is making something of himself, nobody is going to care what his name is and WHY that name was chosen. Okay that’s all I got to say. GO WALLY! 
Wally for 3:
Don’t forget Wally’s dad (and Maximus’ granddaddy) Walt, who was a pretty good player hisself (though not in the NBA — mostly in Spain, if I do remember right; Wally was born in Madrid, I think).
I was at Miami U when Wally played there, so he ‘n’ I go way back…that’s how come I know this stuff.
That said, I agree nothing much goes well with Szczerbiak, but c’mon, what if the kid ends up growing up to be a CEO of a Fortune 500 firm? “Maximus Szzerbiak, chief executive officer” sounds like a title from a bad sci-fi novel. Something normal like “Steve” or “Joe” would be a much safer bet.
MCM :
Yeah. I understand what you are saying, but don’t you think the name Maximus would be shortened to Max? Because Wally’s real name is Walter and they shortened his name. And I tottally agree that nothing goes with the last name Szczerbiak. But I just think he should be able to name his son whatever he likes without people making fun of his choice. Wally is my favorite basketball player ever, and I’m happy for him on having his first son. And while I’m on the subject, you were friends with Wally?! Lol and honestly the only reason why I commented this was because it made me mad after reading all those rude comments about Maximus and I felt that I had to say something. Lol =) re
Wally for 3,
Sorry to imply I knew him — I only bumped into him a few times on campus. I just meant our player-fan relationship goes back a ways.
I agree he’s got the right to name his kid whatever he wants even if I think it’s weird, and given all the rest of the lousy, evil, selfish, harmful things so many NBA players do, this is nothing wrong.
I’m thinking more of the kid — how he’s gonna deal with having an odd name (Maximus, not Max) for what is sort of a cheezy reason to pick a name. My own name is only a little better than “Max Szczerbiak” — easier to spell but doesn’t sound any better — and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wished I were “Joe Miller” or “Steve Parker” or something simple.
Take care, nice chatting with ya…MCM180
MCM: Lol okay. Totally agreed. Yeah, nice chatting with you too=)
