StarTribune.com

Wednesday (petitions) edition: Wha’ Happened?

Posted on February 13th, 2008 – 8:17 AM
By Michael Rand
petition.jpg

We’d like to take a moment to recognize a phenomenon: the on-line petition. Does anything define this era — the anger to want to change something, and the laziness to not want to leave your chair — better than the on-line petition? We think not. As has been mentioned previously, a very sad Patriots fan has put together a petition asking the NFL to take a look at the final 1:40 of the Super Bowl. There are 10 enumerated points about that span of time, followed by this incredible verbiage:

Nowhere in the above rules does it state that in the conditions of what was happening on the clock should be stopped. Also in addition to this six seconds were added to the game clock. Had this illegal clock stoppage not occurred there would have been 40 seconds less time on the clock, 46 seconds less if you consider the six seconds added on after the play. This means that after that play, if the clock was running the way it is supposed to by the rulebook, there would only be 42 seconds left on the clock.

You are penalized 15 words. And may God have mercy on your soul. The thing is up to about 20,000 signatures now, but thankfully many of them are fake.

Serendipity — actually, reading Access Vikings comments — brought us to another petition. It appears that one year ago this week, David Dunkleberger (if that is his real name) of Doylestown, Pa., became the first of what is now more than 1,200 people to sign the “Fire Brad Childress” on-line petition. Again, from the petition:

We, the undersigned, request that Mr. Wilf terminate Brad Childress as Minnesota Vikings head coach immediately. He does not possess the coaching expereience nor does he possess the skills necessary to coach a National Football League franchise. By hiring a replacement, the Vikings stand a chance to become a better football team that is not limited by the shortcomings of its head coach.

Perhaps it’s a harmless bit of venting, but we can’t feel much but bemusement upon reading these things. Giving power to the powerless with the push of a button. Is that what we’ve become? Maybe we just don’t understand; or maybe we’re just bitter because our petition was rejected with the following statement from GoPetition (update!):

Unfortunately the team at GoPetition has not been able to approve your petition entitled “Petition to give ducks the vote”. Your petition did not meet the requirements of our Terms of Use. Please review our Terms of Use. You are welcome to submit a fresh petition after reading our Terms of Use.

Question: If you could create an on-line petition — and really, you can! — what would you fight for?

Other things:

*Not a good night for local hoops squads. Sweet mercy, what happened at the Barn last night?

*Indiana hoops is in big trouble. That’s what they get for hiring Kelvin Sampson.

*Roger Clemens on Capitol Hill. 8:30 a.m. Showtime.

*Bloggers cost Jim Fassel the Washington job, he says. Must have been a petition.

*Fasola-link! Six degrees of Osama Bin Laden.

67 Responses to "Wednesday (petitions) edition: Wha’ Happened?"

Stu says:

February 13th, 2008 at 8:25 am

Anyone else having trouble accessing Rand’s petition?

My own petition would be a two-pronged attempt to gather support for killing all the lawyers and more skin on HBO. I would then head to the bathtub.

RandBall says:

February 13th, 2008 at 8:29 am

Yeah, it was working last night until they denied it. Hence the update. I think I violated the first term of use about laws and such things.

Stu says:

February 13th, 2008 at 8:30 am

RE: Fasola-link. As noted previously, every movie is improved by 33% with the addition of John C. Reilly.

skolvikings says:

February 13th, 2008 at 8:31 am

My petetion would be to fire Nick Coleman. I wonder if http://www.firenickcoleman.com is available?

jama says:

February 13th, 2008 at 8:38 am

My petition states that Stu and Fasolamatt can no longer post humerous, witty, or all together wacky statements that wins them COW for the term of 3.5 weeks.

jama says:

February 13th, 2008 at 8:39 am

Rand

I hope your YouTube clip of the day involves a skateboarder and a Cop that really doesn’t like to be called Man or Dude. Priceless.

fasolamatt says:

February 13th, 2008 at 8:40 am

There was a runnerup fasolalink today: Naked Sushi.

jama says:

February 13th, 2008 at 8:40 am

If you thought the Gophers had a rough night, I bet Tubby is glad he wasn’t coaching Kentucky. 11 points in the first half, that is a little embarrasing.

Sir hump Alot says:

February 13th, 2008 at 8:44 am

Are you as cool as you were back in High School?

http://www.sailinganarchy.com/general/2002/cool_test.htm

jama says:

February 13th, 2008 at 8:50 am

P.S. Thank you for not leading off with a certain Congressional Hearing.

roughkat says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:01 am

Is there a petition to get Joe Buck off the air? Yes there is.

http://www.petitiononline.com/stopbuck/petition.html

Paul Peter Paulos says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:01 am

The handful of times slumming in the “Access Vikings” site, an accumulation of 100s of scumbags and lowlifes from around the country, has led me to this belief…the guy or girl or scurvy dog who started that obnoxiously repetitive “Fire Brad Childress” should be suited up in the gawdy/ugly purple colors of his Beloveds and tied between 2 trees in the woods outside of Green Bay Wisconsin and let the real dogs of war at him. Gawd, that clown was obnoxious and if the only thing he ever did was copy/paste the same lame phrase over and over, I say bye/bye purple creep

skolvikings says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:01 am

I was reading the thing about Indiana basketball being in trouble and have a question. What is an impermissible call? Is that calling a recruit outside the window of recruiting?

jama says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:07 am

Do you think Indiana’s opponents might have a few more giant Cell Phones in the crowd the rest of the season?

What’s the over/under date of Sampson getting canned? Do they let him coach the rest of the season? At least we won’t have to see that stupid blue shirt red tie combo next year on the Big Ten Network….

skolvikings says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:09 am

I’m actually a little concerned about the Gophers basketball team. Al Nolan was kind of a question mark academically, and then all of a sudden he is ok. Maybe I am being a little nervous because of the Clem Haskins thing? Actually I had someone else write this entry into the blog for me.

Toonces51 says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:11 am

How about a petition to stop people from starting online petitions?

Or how about a petition to get that stupid “Wo, partner, you can only post once in 15 seconds” even though I haven’t posted in 12 hours fixed?

jama says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:12 am

Toonces

You start a Slow Down Cowboy petition and post it over on Access Viking and the Internet my explode.

jama says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:17 am

Can we petition Rand from ever wearing that brown sweater dress shirt combo again?

Paul Peter Paulos says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:30 am

2 veeeeeeeeery scary thoughts after reading the 6 degrees of separation schtick (and at first I thought it was going to be about cross eyed people) but a) I think I am only 6 degrees away from Dexter (so don’t mess with me) and b) Obama might be only 6 degrees away from Osama (so don’t elect him …Obama that is. Osama has already proven he is a leader ..again scary)

skolvikings says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:33 am

Do you mean that I am only 6 degrees from Brett Favre?

Where do I sign up for therapy?

RandBall says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:36 am

PPP — you make no sense with the Obama v. Osama talk. One could be one of the five best presidents we’ve ever had at a critical juncture. The other, well, is Osama.

skolvikings says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:39 am

Obama and Osama are equally scary.

Stu says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:41 am

Well, Obama’s middle name is Hussein, so if you base your Presidential vote on that metric, the choice is clear: please, hang yourself.

(Equal time: McCain’s middle name is Sydney. Is America ready for that?)

Dave MN says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:42 am

From ESPN.com

With two teammates and friends embroiled in Major League Baseball’s steroid scandal, Derek Jeter says it’s “a bad time for the game.”

Additionally, Jeter said, “The game was having a good time, until those NARCs came in and harshed our buzz.”

Stu says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:42 am

Obama and Osama are equally scary.

One’s a terrorist scumbag, the other one’s a Senator from Illinois. So, you know, totally the same thing.

skolvikings says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:42 am

At least McCain fought for his country, unlike the big W.

Dave MN says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:45 am

Yeah, I’m not getting this whole Obama/Osama comparison thing. They are not equally scary. You’re only hurting your own image when you say dumb [redacted] like that.

But man is it clever…Obama…Osama…they sound the same! That’s clever. I’m so clever. I need to go somewhere that people truly appreciate just how clever I am. Where’s that Think Again blog? This would be right up their alley.

skolvikings says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:47 am

Your right Obama and Osama are not equally scary. Still I really don’t trust this Obama fella.

skolvikings says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:47 am

I get wrapped up in political discussions and I have a tendancy to spew. Sorry.

skolvikings says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:48 am

I’m better at spewing about sports.

Dave MN says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:49 am

No worries, we all get sidetracked from time to time. The super-political sidetracks need to be nipped in the bud from time to time though. No need to have any of us disliking each other for things other than team allegiances…ha!

roughkat says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:50 am

McCain sounds a lot like McHale. So he’ll probably sign Puerto Rico to an illegal deal under the table and then overpay for all of our military and healthcare and not get enough in return.

Dave MN says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:50 am

Man, my last comment looked like the lyrics from a Cyndi Lauper song…

skolvikings says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:51 am

Thank You Dave.

jama says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:52 am

I petition that political talk stay on the political blog.

I also would like to petition a certain unnamed Cheesehead from posting but I’ll have to save that for a holiday. Like maybe President’s Day (It’s coming up P3).

skolvikings says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:52 am

We should leave this as a non-partisian sports blog.

Paul Peter Paulos says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:53 am

I’m hardly equating them, but I guess I’ve never been a fan of charismatic candidates. A little history might explain that.

Cicero, an impressive lawyer and orator himself, at times remarked that Rome was always responsive to and energized by a well spoken new Senator. Times have not changed much in the last 2000 years, especially noting how Senator Obama made the quantum leap from near unknown to known at the 2004 Democratic National Convention with his thrilling keynote address. The only question remaining, as it probably was also asked in Rome, is will a good orator make a good leader ?

So, what I think we have in Obama with his near constant usage of “Change and Hope”, warm concepts but hardly a platform, is the democratic equivalent of a new Evangelical movement. Indeed, much has been written about his appeal to blacks because he has a sermonlike Jesse Jackson delivery, a delivery one NYTimes reporter has said he did not have in his early days in Ill. So, I guess I see him as talented, a nice guy but quite manipualtive. But, it’s a moot point anyway since politicians don’t run this country anyway. Businessmen do and Obama’s weakest points concern the economy. Besides, my comment was one short phrase fragment. Yet, I think it’s kosher I don’t like the guy.

Paul Peter Paulos says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:55 am

keep in mind my first “Osama” comment was one blow off line…mentioned often before on Comedy tv shows…do you want the whole world to stop during an election ? That’s progress

skolvikings says:

February 13th, 2008 at 9:59 am

Jim Fassel actually thinks the bloggers cost him the Redskins job?

skolvikings says:

February 13th, 2008 at 10:02 am

P3, I understand that you don’t like Obama, but could we please get back on the sports theme?

Stensation says:

February 13th, 2008 at 10:05 am

Poli-tics?

skolvikings says:

February 13th, 2008 at 10:07 am

Did anyone watch the history being made at the WEstminster dog show last eveining?

Paul Peter Paulos says:

February 13th, 2008 at 10:09 am

skol, I can do that, but if you read back to when I first brought up Os..a’s

jama says:

February 13th, 2008 at 10:12 am

Sten +1 and I can only hope that is the end of the Pli-tics.

Stu says:

February 13th, 2008 at 10:12 am

Skol: you have to remember, Obama’s from Illinois, which makes him a Bears guy, and P3’s allegiance to the Pack means the Senataor is on Paul’s extensive enemies list: Darren Sharper, Pat Williams, Lawrence Tynes, MNDot, the National Weather Service, Wink Martindale, border collies, people who pronounce the “t” in “often,” direct sunlight, etc.

jama says:

February 13th, 2008 at 10:13 am

*Poli-tics!

skolvikings says:

February 13th, 2008 at 10:13 am

P3 i just want to get back to talking sports thats all.

Stu says:

February 13th, 2008 at 10:13 am

No, I don’t know what a “Senataor” is, either.

jama says:

February 13th, 2008 at 10:14 am

Stu

My petition is the works. Your witty remarks are soon going to be a thing of the past so I guess you better use them all up now.

Paul Peter Paulos says:

February 13th, 2008 at 10:15 am

I lost part of my stuff…here’s the rest

skol, I can do that, but if you read back to when I first brought up Os..a’s

jama says:

February 13th, 2008 at 10:18 am

Uh Oh our country is in trouble. The Defense Sect. is just the beginning. Those ter rorists are icing driveways everywhere.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/02/13/gates.arm/index.html

Paul Peter Paulos says:

February 13th, 2008 at 10:24 am

Skol, I can do that, but if you read back to when I first brought up Os..a’s

jama says:

February 13th, 2008 at 10:38 am

How does an F-bomb make it through the all mighty moderator?

jama says:

February 13th, 2008 at 10:40 am

I think the youngins are now officially not allowed to read Randball!!!

Can we do a Randball commericial telling him that he is no longer allowed in the house?

Paul Peter Paulos says:

February 13th, 2008 at 10:49 am

Jama, I wrote it in Latin

MR says:

February 13th, 2008 at 10:52 am

I’m amazed that it made it through too, jama.

I agree…pol-i-tics?

Why can’t we just go back to making fun of Livan Hernandez?

Paul Peter Paulos says:

February 13th, 2008 at 10:52 am

Skol, I can do write sports, but try reading back to when I first brought up Os..a’s

MR says:

February 13th, 2008 at 10:53 am

Or we can talk about the one thing we all agree on:
Kelvin Sampson is a doofus.

Stu says:

February 13th, 2008 at 11:11 am

Why can’t we just go back to making fun of Livan Hernandez?

Fair point, and I think the bipartisan consensus that he’s got bosoms will be what unites us this November.

skolvikings says:

February 13th, 2008 at 11:14 am

Right on Stu!!

Here, Here!!

Dave MN says:

February 13th, 2008 at 11:31 am

Holy crap! There’s 1000 calories in an inning?!

That’s why they limit the innings pitched for Little League World Series pitchers, they’re trying to do their part to curb childhood obesity.

Paul Peter Paulos says:

February 13th, 2008 at 12:49 pm

63 responses! Can I kickstart it or what

Paul Peter Paulos says:

February 13th, 2008 at 12:59 pm

scag, great link, but those morons on the street of NY ? who really couldn’t tell Obama from Osama should be given rifles to bring Osama in for comparison to Obama. At least I never thought Ob. was a terrorist. Just a rookie, and that scares me enough …enuf said

Toonces51 says:

February 13th, 2008 at 1:11 pm

way more than enough.

Paul Peter Paulos says:

February 13th, 2008 at 1:55 pm

Waymore would make a great name

Dave MN says:

February 13th, 2008 at 3:45 pm

That was actually Wally Szcerbiak’s second choice…