The rules of RandBall are simple: If you go somewhere fun, take a picture, and write about it, chances are you are going to get some love. Local Quipster went to Chicago over the weekend on family business. Once that was over, he stopped by Medieval Times. That was all we needed to know. His fantastic words are right about now:

Everyone who has ever driven to Chicago has gone past the Medieval Times castle in Schaumburg, Ill. And everyone who has driven by it has said to him/herself, “We should do that … it would be fun”.

I did it this weekend and it was the [redacted]. It was everything that The Cable Guy said it would be and more. Tickets were $59.95 for dinner and the show. The food was pretty good — soup, garlic bread, half chicken, spare ribs, potato and dessert — and it was all sans silverware so you are forced to eat with your hands. After I got over the fact that they were speaking with British accents — in Gaul they spoke French, where this was supposedly taking place — the show was nothing short of spectacular. I’m not one of those fantasy guys by any stretch but it was extremely athletic and certainly more sport-like than professional wrestling (note: my version of fantasy does not involve a Hobbit).

There was hand-to-hand combat with swords, battle axes and various other medieval war weapons. There was a significant jousting tournament that was won by the Green Knight. I was in the red/yellow knight section and my knight looked like Mario Lopez. He was defeated with a crushing sword blow to the midsection in his leather belt. He was jeered significantly by the children in my section.

Still, the best part was after the show. The knights all saddled up to the bar outside the arena facing the outgoing crowd. It was an odd sight as they searched for fair wenches on the way out the door. It reminded me of Gabe’s after a Saints game.

This entry was posted on Monday, February 18th, 2008 at 12:19 pm and is filed under Main. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.