By Michael Rand
Greetings once again, with another edition of the weekend links. No doubt your regular proprietor, Mr. Rand, is more or less exhausted at this point; he’s been out at the state wrestling tournament for a couple of days. Having just witnessed this event for the first time, I’ll say this: it’s like watching a Michael Bay movie after three weeks in a sensory deprivation tank. Chaos! Noise! Screaming! How The Proprietor can cover it, I have no idea; I couldn’t even comprehend most of it.
On with the links:
*Awful Announcing has an interesting breakdown of a month’s worth of SportsCenters, divided up by sport. The noteworthy thing, for the hoc-key fan: the NHL comes in seventh, behind NASCAR. Sigh.
*Speaking of the NHL: the New York Times has the story of a few Russian players who are staying home instead of playing this side of the pond. I know, I know, we’re all thinking the same thing: if this continues, who’s going to play for the Detroit Red Wings?
*I’m not sure I even quite know what to say about Rangers reliever CJ Wilson. He called his teammates imbeciles, he’s into politics, he embraces a lifestyle that makes him sound like a cross between Richard Gere and Jerry Falwell … just read for yourself, I guess. If there were more guys in pro sports like Wilson, no writer would ever want for notebook items again.
*I’m nervous about the self-promotion — it seems crass — but on the other hand, anytime I have an opportunity to Photoshop Doug Risebrough’s head onto Harvey Korman’s body, it seems like I should promote it. We’ve got the inside scoop on trade deadline day with the Minnesota Wild! [Proprietor note: We totally meant to link to this earlier in the week and then forgot.]
*The Chicago Tribune points out: We’re coming up on the 25th anniversary of the greatest postgame managerial rant of all time — Lee Elia’s three-minute, cuss-filled tirade. I won’t link to the outburst — you can find it on YouTube — but know this: it makes Mike Gundy look like Bud Grant.
*And finally, the Vikings are hot on the trail of Bernard Berrian. Here’s my Berrian story: every year, I’m in a fantasy football league that assigns players via auction. Towards the end of the night, the “You can have him!” comments are flying, as players come up for auction, usually for $1, that just about nobody wants. This year, we had a rookie in our league, and as the auction moved on, it came to his turn to put a player up for bid. He studied his cheat sheet, he thought for a moment, and then he announced, “I’ll go with Bernard Berrian for $5. You have never heard nine other guys laugh so hard in your life. Berrian can’t possibly fail to be an improvement for the Purple, but still, this isn’t a good sign.
That’s it for me; here’s hoping everything goes your way this Saturday.