We’re assuming many of you have checked out the amusing blog “Stuff White People Like,” which gets about 1 billion comments per post and, when taken in the proper context, is hilarious. No. 4 on the list: assists. Man, we love assists. No argument there. We love a good assist to the point that it could start a good argument in basically any assist-heavy sport (basketball and hockey being chief among them in our world) as to who is more valuable: the passer or the scorer. Which leads us to today’s topic: Stuff Sports Fans Like.

1. Debating questions that have no answers. This is really at the heart of what we’ll call the “off-season phenomenon,” by which many fans actually prefer the non-playing months to the playing months because this is the time for the draft, free agency and countless hours of questions that have no answers. It’s a license for a bar stool debate; but instead of, “Who was better — Cris Carter or Randy Moss?” you can ask, “If the Twins trade Johan Santana, what’s the best deal?” We don’t know a single sports fan who does not love these types of questions.

2. At-bat music. Baseball fans are obsessed with the songs played when hitters come to the plate. We have had numerous conversations about what our at-bat music would be and also what song would be played if we were coming in as a closer. [At bat music: Roaming the Foam by Lifter Puller; Closer music: Shimmy Shimmy Ya by Ol’ Dirty Bastard]. Brendan Harris, by the way, has had “Cherry Pie” by Warrant played for his at bats at no fewer than two home games this year. We heard it last week, and the next day our guy Diddy sent a text message with the exact same information. It made his day. This at bat music needs to be discussed in great detail. Frankly, we’re surprised its taken this long.

3. Athletes with crazy hair and/or facial hair.

4. The scrappy new guy. See Tolbert, Matt.

5. Listing obscure players from bygone eras.

6. Talking about what food they might buy at a game well before the game starts. This also works with beer.

7. Getting a free T-shirt at a game, even though it’s likely two sizes two big, will never be worn and has a market value of about 8 bucks. Seriously, break out a T-shirt gun, and it doesn’t matter what your demographic is. You want that shirt.

8. Believing that their actions somehow affect the outcomes of games. We won’t get into the whole “lights out, lights on” superstition of the mid-to-late-1990s, but suffice to say we are not immune. Nor are we alone.

9. Buying obscure jerseys on eBay.

10. Criticizing poor fundamentals. See: Memphis free throws.

There have to be so many more …

Oh, and shame on us: Mike Ring and Matt Nelson were the co-winners of the [Redacted] NCAA Challenge with 277 points apiece. Send us an e-mail and we’ll arrange your prizes. And one guest post for each of you, should you want it. Us? Thanks for asking. We finished sixth and also tied with JPF for most games correctly predicted overall (45). In short: Georgetown pretty much killed us.

Fasola-link! The Monty Hall problem. Very cool.

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