Wednesday (stuff fans like) edition: Wha’ Happened?
Posted on April 9th, 2008 – 8:01 AMBy Michael Rand
We’re assuming many of you have checked out the amusing blog “Stuff White People Like,” which gets about 1 billion comments per post and, when taken in the proper context, is hilarious. No. 4 on the list: assists. Man, we love assists. No argument there. We love a good assist to the point that it could start a good argument in basically any assist-heavy sport (basketball and hockey being chief among them in our world) as to who is more valuable: the passer or the scorer. Which leads us to today’s topic: Stuff Sports Fans Like.
1. Debating questions that have no answers. This is really at the heart of what we’ll call the “off-season phenomenon,” by which many fans actually prefer the non-playing months to the playing months because this is the time for the draft, free agency and countless hours of questions that have no answers. It’s a license for a bar stool debate; but instead of, “Who was better — Cris Carter or Randy Moss?” you can ask, “If the Twins trade Johan Santana, what’s the best deal?” We don’t know a single sports fan who does not love these types of questions.
2. At-bat music. Baseball fans are obsessed with the songs played when hitters come to the plate. We have had numerous conversations about what our at-bat music would be and also what song would be played if we were coming in as a closer. [At bat music: Roaming the Foam by Lifter Puller; Closer music: Shimmy Shimmy Ya by Ol’ Dirty Bastard]. Brendan Harris, by the way, has had “Cherry Pie” by Warrant played for his at bats at no fewer than two home games this year. We heard it last week, and the next day our guy Diddy sent a text message with the exact same information. It made his day. This at bat music needs to be discussed in great detail. Frankly, we’re surprised its taken this long.
3. Athletes with crazy hair and/or facial hair.
4. The scrappy new guy. See Tolbert, Matt.
5. Listing obscure players from bygone eras.
6. Talking about what food they might buy at a game well before the game starts. This also works with beer.
7. Getting a free T-shirt at a game, even though it’s likely two sizes two big, will never be worn and has a market value of about 8 bucks. Seriously, break out a T-shirt gun, and it doesn’t matter what your demographic is. You want that shirt.
8. Believing that their actions somehow affect the outcomes of games. We won’t get into the whole “lights out, lights on” superstition of the mid-to-late-1990s, but suffice to say we are not immune. Nor are we alone.
9. Buying obscure jerseys on eBay.
10. Criticizing poor fundamentals. See: Memphis free throws.
There have to be so many more …
Oh, and shame on us: Mike Ring and Matt Nelson were the co-winners of the [Redacted] NCAA Challenge with 277 points apiece. Send us an e-mail and we’ll arrange your prizes. And one guest post for each of you, should you want it. Us? Thanks for asking. We finished sixth and also tied with JPF for most games correctly predicted overall (45). In short: Georgetown pretty much killed us.
Fasola-link! The Monty Hall problem. Very cool.
28 Responses to "Wednesday (stuff fans like) edition: Wha’ Happened?"
When will we see Rand TV?
2. Batter Music: “Even Flow” by Pearl Jam
Closer Music: “Son of a Bitch” by Nazareth
Also, I’m disappointed that Mauer didn’t stick with T.I. and “What You Know” after it took him to a batting title. Anytime I hear that song, I say to myself Mauer’s coming up. Same with “Back in Black” for Morneau. They need to pick songs and stick with them.
6. To reignite the discussion about concessions from yesterday, I feel like I had a really good idea last night. One of the local breweries (preferably Summit or Surly) should brew a beer specifically for the ballpark. That would be awesome!
Dave - Summit Butterbeer. They can team up with Land O’ Lakes and even J.K. Rowling can get a piece of the action. I know she has to feed her family.
I think sports fans like complaining, be it about their team’s poor performance, or when the Strib blog server takes a dump, rendering RandBall inaccessible for precious minutes at a time.
I also like to whine about feel-good, everybody wins outcomes in contests, like “co-winners” being named when presumably the tie-breaker should have crowned one champion? (This whining only applies if it does NOT benefit me).
Andy Van Slyke was way better than Jerome Walton. Don’t you agree?
I’d piggyback on #5 and list “naming obscure players during fantasy drafts.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard stuff like “Hey, Alge Crumpler is still available!” Man, do sports fans like that.
2. Batting: Intro to Paradise City
Closing Pitcher: Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give
3. Troy Polamalu (Who else’s hair has influenced the possibility of a new rule). Fletch, 6′5″…6′9″ with the afro.
10. Won’t argue with that one…GO JAYHAWKS!
To jump into the Summit/Blue moon/etc debate…What about Sierra Nevada Pale Ale? Have you ever tried? Randball HQ (AKA Liquor Lyles) has it on tap.
How about criticizing the local coach/manager for a decision that could have worked out at about a 50/50 ratio, but failed?
Batter: Shipping Up to Boston- Dropkick Murphys
Closer: Through the Fire and Flames- Dragonforce (Yes, this is 100% because of Guitar Hero III.)
Dave- Fantastic (there I go again) idea. You should demand some sort of award if someone actually picks up on that.
Closer: Through the Fire and Flames- Dragonforce (Yes, this is 100% because of Guitar Hero III.)
I’ve found this to be a good song to pick on the jukebox if I want to mess up my pool-playing opponent…older players can’t seem to focus with the ridiculous guitar playing going on…
A microbrewery in the stadium.
Fasolamatt: That is an excellent idea. There can never be too many microbreweries in town. I would just hope that it’s more along the lines of a Town Hall than say a Herkimer…
1. The ‘85 Bears would destroy the ‘98 Vikings
2. At Bat- C.R.E.A.M.- Wu Tang
Closer- Ring of Fire- Johnny Cash
3. I only liked to dye my own hair.
4. Span, Denard
5. Neil Anderson
6. Food- Always go with the Nachos
Beer- Anything not named Miller Lite
7. I caught a T-Shirt at a Brewers game out of the cannon. Best moment of my life.
8. I ate a lot of Chipotle during the Bears run to the SB in 2006-2007
9. Another thing I don’t do.
10. That’s why I can’t watch the Wolves.
Back to the Stadium Food post for a minute. Did anyone else see the clip of Sid filling his face with the possible food selections on the news yesterday?
Sid I think that third helping is enough save a little for the rest of the crowd. Even the news anchor made a comment about it
Stuff Sports Fans Like:
11. Complaining incessently about players bloated salaries.
11(a). Complaining incessantly about owners and GM’s not overpaying players.
11(b). Complaining incessantly about a sales tax increase for stadium funding they only notice when spending thousands on a flat screen HD TV so they don’t have to buy tickets to the game.
12. Complaining incessantly about the glare from Jim Peterson’s shaved head that they only notice after they spend thousands on a flat screen HD TV.
What’s up with the damn Strib server today? I blame this on Rand getting off the stationary bike.
ramon - you forgot
13. Complaining incessantly about the former starting third baseman and his penchant for diving headfirst into first base
Dave, lord knows I’m trying to. BTW - Does Herkimer’s know their beer is (redacted)? On the other hand, they pour a healthy adult beverage.
Is anyone else sad about Carl Eller’s latest transgression? Now Jim Marshall will never get in the HOF.
The funny (and by “funny”, I mean “sad and disappointing”) thing about Herkimer is that all of their beer tastes the same. Everything from the light to the dark…all the same malty, grain taste. I don’t hate it, but it really makes for boring beer drinking.
Randball- Now powered by Nibbles.
/Deadspin
How about moving Town Hall brewery into the new stadium? All the tasty brews w/o the surly, unhelpful staff. (Scotch Ale? Yes please! Getting scolded by the server because I got sick of waiting for her and went and ordered it from the bar? I’ll pass, thanks.)
Carl Eller is too good to drive sober. Ten bucks says he was wearing his purple Ring of Honor blazer through the whole fight, too. Pretty bad to get beaten up by a guy wearing a ridiculous purple suit and the artists’ hat.
On a different note, before the first Vikings home game this past season, Carl Eller was definitely robbing cars in the parking lot north of the Metrodome. Either that or he completely forgot what kind of car he drives, as he was pulling on door handles of cars and peeking into them very suspiciously…
Hey, I got through! Yay!
@The Hootie -
It just goes to show that one bad experience can totally sour you on a place. I love Town Hall. I’m what might be considered a “regular” there.
@ DaveMN-
I used to love TH too. Then there was just a string of bad experiences- the one I referenced, plus a couple bad batches of beer. (A bad IPA can be really, REALLY bad.) Haven’t been back there for probably 3 years now. Maybe it’s time to give it another shot.
Dave
With your drinking problem I think you are considered a regular* at over half the joints in town.
*By regular I mean the one person the whole staff hates to see walk in the door.
@jama - Zing!
Stu
That’s what Dominic Jones said!
Too soon? Okay I apologize
Are you guys ready for the Candice Wiggins Era to begin? 2008 is the year of the Lynx.
