StarTribune.com

Rays sign Mrs. Tony Parker for 37 years after solid single

Posted on April 18th, 2008 – 1:57 PM
By Michael Rand

longoria.jpgNo matter how good of a player Evan Longoria becomes, we will probably always think of him as the guy whose name is almost identical to Eva Longoria (pictured, and now Eva Longoria Parker after her nuptuals with the Spurs point guard, but whatever). The Tampa Bay Rays, however, apparently view the rookie third baseman as someone they want to pay gobs of money now instead of waiting. After just SIX GAMES in the majors, Longoria, 22, signed a deal that could keep with with the Rays until he’s 31. The details:

The first six years of the contract are guaranteed, with a one-year club option for 2014 and a two-year option for 2015 and 2016. Longoria is guaranteed to make $17.5 million through the first six years, and could earn more than $44 million if the Rays exercise both options, which would keep the third baseman in Tampa until he’s 31. The deal is the longest in franchise history. … Chosen third overall by Tampa in the 2006 draft out of Long Beach State, Longoria started the season in the minors after batting .262 with three home runs and 10 runs batted in during Spring Training. Longoria didn’t last long at Triple-A Durham, though, and he made his major-league debut on April 12. In six games this season Longoria has batted an even .300 (six hits in 20 at- bats) with one home run and three runs batted in.

While we like the idea of locking up the youngsters, we don’t know what the harm would have been in seeing, you know, maybe 100 Major League at bats before signing a guy through the end of his prime. But that’s just us.

23 Responses to "Rays sign Mrs. Tony Parker for 37 years after solid single"

jama says:

April 18th, 2008 at 2:03 pm

Do you think his first purchase will be a Tony Parker jersey?

Brandon says:

April 18th, 2008 at 2:11 pm

Plus, have you seen him without makeup? http://www.thesuperficial.com/2006/07/11/eva_longoria_really_really_nee.html

Give me Terrance Hatcher any day of the week.

jama says:

April 18th, 2008 at 2:23 pm

Their real and their spectacular!

Stu says:

April 18th, 2008 at 2:29 pm

While we like the idea of locking up the youngsters

Perv.

Michael Rand says:

April 18th, 2008 at 2:31 pm

well-played stu. That reminds us: Vote for the COW

jama says:

April 18th, 2008 at 2:35 pm

I think Clarence has had a good week. Oh who am I kidding. STU 4 COW

Stu says:

April 18th, 2008 at 2:37 pm

Jama: your first instinct was correct. CLARENCE SWAMPTOWN COW FTW!!1!1!111

Brandon says:

April 18th, 2008 at 2:39 pm

“jimmy bee” had a great week. He’s got my vote.

Jon says:

April 18th, 2008 at 2:40 pm

COW: Sassbottom. Just seems like we haven’t heard from him in awhile.

super rookie says:

April 18th, 2008 at 2:45 pm

Brandon for his use of Rugby terms.

AZGopherGirl says:

April 18th, 2008 at 3:03 pm

Brandon really captured the spirit of Randball by referencing pasta and nipples in one comment.

jama says:

April 18th, 2008 at 3:18 pm

Can I write in for P3 to make a return appearence?

jama says:

April 18th, 2008 at 3:19 pm

The COW is like the Heisman, it’s what have you done for me lately. I think the COW needs a trophy and a pose.

AZGopherGirl says:

April 18th, 2008 at 3:27 pm

Sorry Brandon, but I’d like to change my vote to Roughkat’s Worst Enemy: The Truth. A+.

http://thetruthaboutroughkat.blogspot.com/

roughkat says:

April 18th, 2008 at 3:36 pm

My attorney will be making a statement shortly.

Brandon says:

April 18th, 2008 at 3:46 pm

So close to the finish line, my stated objective almost within my grasp … and then, at the last moment, Roughkat bursts in and snatches the prize from my fingertips.

It’s like prom night, all over again.

roughkat says:

April 18th, 2008 at 3:54 pm

That was you at Prom???

jama says:

April 18th, 2008 at 3:54 pm

Brandon

If I’d known you felt that way about the Hoff I would have let you have him. He liked the hooch a little too much.

-roughkat

Clarence Swamptown says:

April 18th, 2008 at 3:56 pm

AzGopherGirl referenced eating hot dogs, Weiner Loving, Dick, and nipples within the last week. That gets my vote. Shatter the COW glass ceiling!

roughkat says:

April 18th, 2008 at 3:58 pm

To be fair Brandon, it was the Stearns County chapter of the Swift Boat Vets for Truth that stole your snatch prize.

roughkat says:

April 18th, 2008 at 4:00 pm

AzGopherGirl referenced eating hot dogs, Weiner Loving, Dick, and nipples within the last week. That gets my vote. Shatter the COW glass ceiling!

They do already have a appropriate trophy for that.

Stu says:

April 18th, 2008 at 4:12 pm

Roughkat: that photo really should have a NSFW warning.

roughkat says:

April 18th, 2008 at 4:16 pm

My bad, I thought it was just golf.