Will that scene (pictured) from 2006 be the defining moment of Francisco Liriano’s career? Nobody knows right now. What we do know is that he was shelled yesterday and is likely headed back to the minors, having lost his confidence and ability to throw strikes. As good as the rest of the Twins’ starters have been so far, they needed Liriano this year to even have a dark-horse chance at contending, at least in our minds. So this is a major blow; and you need a pick-me-up in the form of a Movie Quote Friday featuring quotes from the 10 funniest movies of all-time (or at least, say, since 1979). Feel free to disagree with this list. That’s what makes it fun (that and the amusing props that comic genius* Carrot Top uses).

10. You look so beautiful and peaceful, you almost look dead. And I’m glad, because there’s something I want to say that’s always been very difficult for me to say. [pause] I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit. There. I’ve never been relaxed enough around anyone to say that.

9. I’ll be in the neighborhood later on, and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get some frozen yogurt, or perhaps a whole meal of food, if that would be agreeable.

8. We accidentally replaced your heart with a baked potato. You have about three seconds to live.

7. So tell me Curly, how do you know Miss Cross? … We went to Harvard together. … Oh that’s great. I wrote a hit play and directed it, so I’m not sweating it either.

6. Yeah, I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I’m working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I’d say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.

5. When I was a little kid, I kinda had this problem. And it’s not even that big of a deal, something like 8 percent of kids do it.

4. My friend here is trying to convince me that any independent contractors working on the uncompleted Death Star were innocent victims when it was destroyed by the Rebels.

3. Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o’clock this afternoon … with nail polish. These [redacted] amateurs.

2. I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem *may* have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being *crushed* by a *dwarf*. Alright? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.

1. Hello? Who’s there, I’m talkin’? Hello? Who is this? Baxter… is that you? Baxter! Bark twice if your in Milwaukee… Is this Wilt Chamberlain? Have the courage to say something! Hello?

Fasola-link! Do your taxes.

*No.

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