Weekend Links with Jon Marthaler
Posted on April 26th, 2008 – 9:09 AMBy Michael Rand
Happy NFL Draft Day, everyone! Unfortunately, the Vikings have already made their pick for the first round — an All-Pro end, which seems like a sweet deal — and so they don’t have much to do for the day. The Purple won’t be selecting until about 7:30 tonight, so if you need something else to do, a list of suggestions:
1. Drive to every bar within a 10-mile radius with a picture of Jared Allen. Extract “no serve, no matter how much he goes smashy smashy” promises from owners.
2. Conduct quiet service at Adrian Peterson shrine.
3. Work on elaborate padding for top of Gus Frerotte’s helmet.
4. Convert Chris Hovan jersey to Jared Allen jersey. (Note: 95 percent of people who will eventually buy an Allen jersey at one time owned a Hovan jersey. It’s science.)
5. (Western and northern Minnesota only) Get that snowmobile out one last time this year. I talked to the folks out in my hometown; they got 10 inches of snow yesterday. In the lingo of our state: that’s just gosh darn ridiculous, doncha know.
On with the links!
*Since we’re in a Vikings mood, we start with this: Read this story about the Sonics owners plotting to move to Oklahoma City last summer. Read it, and understand: this is exactly what Zygi Wilf could do with the Vikings. He might pull this same thing on us, my Minnesota brethren; if we don’t do something — regardless of whether we should or not — the Vikings could be headed to Los Angeles. Zygi has no reason to want to keep the team here, only to look like he wants to keep the team here, just like Clay Bennett. Do not pretend that it couldn’t happen to us — because it has, and it could again.
*Spencerorson Swindlehall at Every Day Should Be Saturday continues in his quest to make me laugh myself to death with this gem: the 2008 Oregon lineman calendar.
*Poor Tracy McGrady. He’s being paid $19 million this year, over $13 million more than any other player on his team save Yao Ming, and somehow it’s HIS fault his team doesn’t win. And tiny violins all over the world play a sad, sad song.
*Yeah, that Pacman Jones thing is going over well in Dallas.
*And finally: it’s your childish laugh of the day! Key quote: “It’s not inappropriate to an organisation that’s looking to have a firm grip on Government spending.”
Enjoy your Saturday; if you’re reading this and there’s snow on the ground outside, try not to sob. We’ll all get through this somehow.
17 Responses to "Weekend Links with Jon Marthaler"
I was thinking the EXACT same thing RE: Hovan/Allen. Nice to know there’s some scientific basis for this belief.
Also, I’d like to take a moment to defend myself against some slanderous allegations in yesterday’s commenter draft: I was not dominated as a high school football player.
The truth will set me free.
Randball - Wilf publicizing (making a big deal) of his having to put out a 50 mil capital call doesn’t serve a purpose?
IMHO he’s contrasting himself and the Sonics and himself and the Twins. Bennett’s not offering to do much on his part to keep the Sonics from leaving. Pohlad got his stadium using threats (then turned around and degraded his product).
Wilf’s on the other hand is using the carrot. He’s investing heavily in a product (pro sport) that Minnesota cherishes and who’s success is supposedly intrinsic to it’s financial infrastructure.
As Lileks wrote, the MOA is asking for 240 mil for a new parking ramp. Northwest Airlines got a nice boost from the taxpayers and we don’t get pretzels. I applaud Wilf for going about it this way rather rather other big businesses that have mooched off the taxpayers.
It does serve a purpose. Now he can say, “Look at what I did for you ungrateful peons! You should be thankful, yes thankful, that I even deigned to keep the team here all the way up until our moving date!”
Well Jon, that’s just how it works. Except in Green Bay, where pro football is State-run Socialism. All I’m saying is… aw heck Jon, you know what I’m saying!
I admit, I am overly pessimistic on this Vikings stadium issue. It feels like Norm Green Part Deux to me, and I’m worried we’re all going to end up picking new teams to cheer for in 2012 and getting stuck with Packers games on TV every week.
Time to retain former Cleveland mayor Mike “our team, our name, our colors” White so that at least the NFC Central team in SoCal is the “Roadragers” instead of Vikings.
Ok Jon and Faso - you got me started. If the Vikes spend this much money and don’t win a Super Bowl by 2012, then the curse the Shaman put on them for building the old Met and supermall on their land (and the tasteless Native American decor in the Thunderbird Hotel) is real and they should leave anyway.
I’m confused about this LA stadium thing. (Maybe they know the answer over at Vikings Access.) A guy is spending his own money to build a stadium. Now, does he just want to own a stadium? And not the team playing in it?
a) If he wants to also own the team, Wilf would have to sell it to him, not move it himself. After all the ching Wilf’s put into it, would there be any return on his investment by 2012?
b) If the guy just wants Wilf as a tenant, then there must be some financial upside to building and owning a football stadium (and possible Doobie Brothers concert venue). In which case wouldn’t building a stadium be a good investment for Minny? Better than, say, a 240 mil parking ramp at the MOA (where I never having a problem parking).
I know over at Vikings Access the answer would be “WILF SUX!!”
BOOTY!
1) I think the Packers took Brohm just as a signal to Brett to shut up and go away. I think if Favre is in uniform at Lambeau opening night, he will be wearing purple (and said so on Friday over at ZoneBlitz.com).
2) RE: Wilf moving team…personally, if he ever moves the team, I intend to invoke the Kim Basinger defense. I think the cost of an expansion team AND a new stadium should cover it.
3) Apparently I picked the wrong week to go on vacation–miss a few days* and it really impacts your draft standing.
*ok, more for like a month. Or two.
Another Latroy hits the twin cities sports scene.
BOOTY!!
Mr Irrelevant in the Randball mock draft has been named: “Michael Rand”, whose picayune postings are mostly apologia, administrivia, and affirmations of COWness.
Meanwhile, STrib headline writers are dreaming up scenarios involving the new backup QB: “Booty Call” when he comes in after an injury, anyone?
I didn’t think there was a chance to get Booty. But then is there ever?
Announcer: And Gus Frerotte, playing for an ineffective Tavaris Jackson, is slow to get up after his eight sack of the quarter… Frerotte is being helped off the field and… it looks like we’re finally going to get a good look at Booty!
FIRE WILF!!
Between Adrian Peterson, Jared Allen wearing #69, and now Booty, I predict the Vikings go from #32 to #1 in local revenue this year based solely on merchandise sales.
If some enterprising merchandiser isn’t printing up a batch of pink Booty jerseys right this minute, then capitalism has failed us again.
BOOTY!
Strib writers are way ahead of you fasolamatt. Today’s headline was “Vikings grab quarterback John David Booty”.
Heh, heh, they said Booty. Heh, heh.
