Let’s start this day with a link to a happier time for Roger Clemens — albeit a cinematic event that might need a rewrite. In case you forgot, good ol’ Roger was in “Kingpin,” and he portrayed the role of “Skidmark.” In a memorable scene, Roger catches Randy Quaid’s character dancing with his woman. And, well, we all know now that confrontation is a little pot-and-kettle these days. But here’s the clip. And now, on with the movie quotes! These have no rhyme or reason this week except that we’re trying to turn it up a notch to stump Roughkat.

1. I have a question for you real quick. What did you think of my demo? Did you get it? … I was gonna listen to that, but then, um, I just carried on living my life.

2. How does an average guy like me become the number one lover-man in his particular postal district? He’s grumpy, he’s broke, he hangs out with the musical moron twins.

3. There’s an old joke — um: two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of ‘em says, “Boy, the food at this place is really terrible.” The other one says, “Yeah, I know; and such small portions.” Well, that’s essentially how I feel about life — full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it’s all over much too quickly.

4. I don’t feel the sickness yet, but it’s in the post. That’s for sure. I’m in the junkie limbo at the moment. Too ill to sleep. Too tired to stay awake, but the sickness is on its way. Sweat, chills, nausea. Pain and craving. A need like nothing else I’ve ever known will soon take hold of me. It’s on its way.

5. The ball is round, a game lasts 90 minutes, everything else is pure theory. Off we go!

6. Listen, here’s the thing. If you can’t spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker.

7. Word is they’re going to repeal Prohibition. What’ll you do then? … I think I’ll have a drink.

8. No I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that? This girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Chlorophyll Man up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I’m here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the chlorophyll.

9. See that man over there, we arrested him for mopery. … What’s mopery? … Mopery is exposing yourself to a blind person.

10. What *are* these electrolytes? Do you even know? … They’re what they use to make Brawndo! … But *why* do they use them to make Brawndo? … Because Brawndo’s got electrolytes.

Fasola-link! This will be us in about 5 months.

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