Guest Post COW: Superdelegate Stu’s endorsements
Posted on May 5th, 2008 – 12:03 PMBy Michael Rand
Stu, the man who brought us the steam engine and the cotton gin, is full of some more great ideas in his Commenter Of the Week post. He earned it early last week with some strong work on the Roger Clemens/Mindy McCready saga. And now, ladies and other folks, Stu:
In the past couple months, the word “superdelegate” has become inescapable. However, did you know that this concept extends to RandBall? Of course you didn’t, as I just made it up. But for the sake of the conceit, let’s pretend that I’m a RandBall superdelegate (requirements: a bevy of COW honors, ducking out on most RandBall events, creating a fake blog to rail against other RandBallers). My endorsements follow:
*I endorse the notion that 30 Rock is better than The Office. And if this needs to be settled by a Tina Fey-Jenna Fischer wrestling match, then by all means, let’s settle it.
*I endorse Michael Cuddyer. The batting order just seems a lot better with him in it, and his defense is excellent.
*I endorse Mary Lucia. She’s the afternoon DJ on the Current and she played Fugazi and Rick Springfield back to back a couple months ago. That’s never happened anywhere before, and that kind of genius needs to be recognized.
*I endorse booing the people who boo A.J. Pierzynski. Shut up, wouldja?
*I endorse the simple truth that hash browns improve every meal.
*I endorse pretty much everything the Vikings have done this season. That means the Gus Frerotte signing and the Matt Birk kerfuffle, too.
*I endorse the skinny guy with the funny name.
*I endorse bringing Randy Wittman back next year. For a bad team, the T-Wolves were better than I thought they would be. Also, to pretend that Avery Johnson or Mike D’Antoni would have any interest in coming here is folly.
*Finally, I endorse thinking that you can appreciate both sports journalism and sports blogs.
30 Responses to "Guest Post COW: Superdelegate Stu’s endorsements"
You have incorrectly attributed the work of Eli Whitney for the last time…
Responses in line:
*I endorse the notion that 30 Rock is better than The Office. And if this needs to be settled by a Tina Fey-Jenna Fischer wrestling match, then by all means, let’s settle it.
I agree with the wrestling match, but 30 Rock lost my interest in the first three episodes. Therefore, not as good.
*I endorse Michael Cuddyer. The batting order just seems a lot better with him in it, and his defense is excellent.
I agree with this endorsement, although his position in that lineup is still up for debate. I’m not really sure where I think he should go, but I don’t think it’s in the 3-5 area.
*I endorse Mary Lucia. She’s the afternoon DJ on the Current and she played Fugazi and Rick Springfield back to back a couple months ago. That’s never happened anywhere before, and that kind of genius needs to be recognized.
Psh. Radio. If my iPod isn’t playing in my car, it’s either NPR or the Twins game. And if there’s a ballgame on, then we’re listening to the ballgame!
*I endorse booing the people who boo A.J. Pierzynski. Shut up, wouldja?
There are many misguided booers. However, I believe that it is acceptable to cringe when Jesse Crain or Juan Rincon are brought into the game.
*I endorse the simple truth that hash browns improve every meal.
My girlfriend would agree with you. I however, believe that only Northwoods Fire seasoning from Penzey’s Spices (please, please read this and give me some free stuff) makes every meal better. It even improves hashbrowns.
*I endorse pretty much everything the Vikings have done this season. That means the Gus Frerotte signing and the Matt Birk kerfuffle, too.
Even starting Travaris for the majority of the season? You’re starting to look like a looney here, Stu.
*I endorse the skinny guy with the funny name.
Dick Trickle? I never pegged you as a NASCAR fan. But you are from Stearns County…
*I endorse bringing Randy Wittman back next year. For a bad team, the T-Wolves were better than I thought they would be. Also, to pretend that Avery Johnson or Mike D’Antoni would have any interest in coming here is folly.
Don’t care, don’t care, don’t care… what is your stance on FIRING CHILLY or FIRING MCFAIL?
*Finally, I endorse thinking that you can appreciate both sports journalism and sports blogs.
Poppycock
Dave MN: the Proprietor means that Stu drinks gin while wearing cotton.
Or Gin made from cotton…which gives you a dry mouth. And that, my friends, is where the saying Cottonmouth came from…
Even starting Travaris for the majority of the season? You’re starting to look like a looney here, Stu.
Who else would they have realistically gotten to start? The only person I can think of is Sage Rosenfels, and we ended up needing the draft pick(s) we would have had to sacrifice to get him.
As for Stu’s positions:
- haven’t watched either show (burning of yours truly as heretic, tonight, 10pm)
- first place Twins… meh
- three times I tuned in the Current, three times I got Ted Leo and the Pharmacists… end of experiment
- agreed
- yes, especially if the meal is at Waffle House and they’re scattered, smothered and covered
- sure, they’ll go 12-4 and lose their first playoff game, and what difference will it make?
- I, too am pro-Ndudi Ebi
- I hear Isiah Lord Thomas III is available
- agreed, see Gammons, Peter
*I endorse the skinny guy with the funny name.
Where do I go with this? Let’s go with Bob Saget. No, not funny enough. How about Osama bin Laden. No, too much of a fundamentalist. Ureka!!! You are endorsing Kosuke Fukudome for the NL Rookie of the Year.
Matt: the fact that I want to have Ted Leo’s babies does make me biased, I suppose.
Speaking of having babies, I would suggest going about it a different way than this. (This story doesn’t even involve an athlete in trouble)
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/05/04/teen.birth.ap/index.html?iref=mpstoryview
So can I assume you are against all acts of booing, then? Seems like if you’re going to boo (which I’ve never done), might as well direct it at the whiny bush-leaguer behind the dish of our hated rivals. Who better than him?
Far from it, Brandon. I just don’t see the point of booing AJ, for three reasons:
1. The trade, which he did not demand, netted us the best closer in baseball, plus two starting pitchers.
2. The 3-run home run against Oakland in game 5 of the ALDS. Plus, he flipped his bat and said “Boo ya” after doing so, which is so, so awesome.
3. Swearing on live TV is always funny, especially when you’re mad at Dan Cole, of all people.
Are you sure they’re not saying “Stuuuuu” instead of Boo? Everyone loves a Superdelegate.
TMI time: I had a dream about Stu Friday night. Granted, I’ve never met Stu. I don’t even know what he looks like. But the guy in the dream said his name was Stu, and I know no other Stu. It was nothing creepy. He just helped me clean my parents’ house and then we ate pie.
I’m going to the Twins/Red Sox game on Saturday and haven’t decided who I should boo the loudest at. Does anyone have any suggestions? I generally try to pick out at least one player to boo, that I can unleash my fury that I have built up from not being named COW for that week.
Stu - You raise good points on AJ, but I think one over riding fact (that he is a Class 1 Douchebag) overrides those facts, and makes booing him acceptable in certain occasions.
Stu:
Torii deserves our ire more than A.J. I will not relent from this position.
“I did everything I could to stay” my [redacted]…
AZ
Was it warm apple pie? If so your hubby should be concerned!
jama: I’ve thought about it and I can’t make an appropriate joke about booing Jon Lester. I thought of many, but all of them made me feel bad.
AZ: here’s a picture of Stu to help with your visualization.
AZ:
Pie is inherently sexual. The Warrant song, the never ending string of American Pie movies, I can’t think of another thing to finish this list of 3…
The Comely Missus Stu is on her way to your house. She’s walking determinedly. I’d assume that you have about 48 hours to live.
Matt: you, you’re funny.
AZGG: if the cleaning was half-assed and the pie was custard, then it was definitely me. I hope I was wearing a nice shirt, at least.
Dave: the CMS would likely find this highly amusing, then ask AZGG if Dream Stu lied about his weight on his driver’s license, too.
then ask AZGG if Dream Stu lied about his weight on his driver’s license, too.
It wasn’t a lie, you just read it as “goal weight”
Thanks for the photo, fasolamatt. The guy in my dream was a bit more rugged than that. (Not sure how that matches up with the new mental image of our Office-dissing, Current-listening, Obama-loving e-friend. You be the judge.)
Dave and jama, I knew I’d get burned on the pie deal, which is why I didn’t mention that his was cherry, mine was key lime. But I’m pretty sure we were in a church basement at the time, surrounded by oldsters. What does it all mean?
AZGG: to clarify, I wasn’t dissing the Office, I just think 30 Rock is funnier.
And key lime is a very underrated pie. Good choice.
I knew I’d get burned on the pie deal, which is why I didn’t mention that his was cherry, mine was key lime. But I’m pretty sure we were in a church basement at the time, surrounded by oldsters. What does it all mean?
Oldsters? Are you sure it wasn’t the members of Warrant?
Could be, Dave, though none had long hair or wore assless chaps.
The best thing about living in AZ is that your license doesn’t expire for 30 years (how mental is that?) so I only had to lie about my weight once and can eat all I want until I’m 65!
Stu - I confess that sometimes I want the Office to be funny, so I tell myself it’s funnier than it really is.
faso - Ted Leo and the Pharmacists three times in one hour? Is that true? They must be putting a record out or coming to town. If it was Mary dj’ing, I can kinda see it. One of the dudes looks like a young Chris Mars from the Replacements. But I understand your need to switch stations.
My girlfriend just got rid of her AZ license for a Minnesota one. She was pretty sad about that because it was still good for another 40 or so years, with the picture taken from when she was 21.
I agree with Stu on 30 Rock vs. The Office. I’d say 30 Rock is funnier than any other non-animated show on television today.
And also, if RandBall has a superdelegate, it’s Stu: according to my calculations, he’s got about twice as many COWs as anyone else.
To be fair, Stu is probably the only representative of a country that has a higher COWs per capita than the any of the Twin Cities. I’d be disappointed if he didn’t lead the RandBallers. What else does he have to do?
To be fair, Stu is probably the only representative of a country that has a higher COWs per capita than the any of the Twin Cities
Kazakhstan?
