Instead of dwelling on last night’s near no-hitter, we will give you just one quick statistic and then move on. According to Stew Thornley’s exhaustive research, from 1961-2000 in the Major Leagues, there were 110 no-hitters completed through nine innings; there were another 114 near-misses broken up in the ninth inning. So really, Joe Mauer’s hit in the ninth inning wasn’t unexpected. The odds were in the Twins’ favor. They had it all along.

Now, moving to a new feature, which Jon must have subliminally sensed we were pondering. Why else would he send us a link to the 20-year anniversary (which was yesterday) of the infamous meltdown in the Devils/Bruins NHL playoff series in which Devils coach Jim Schoenfeld went after referee Don Koharski and unleashed a tirade that led to replacement referees working the next game (anniversary tomorrow). The kicker lines from the tirade are, “You fat pig” and “Have another donut,” which really doesn’t sound very nice at all. But it does lead us to our fun new feature called: “If it happened now.” We’re sure the Koharski flap received plenty of press 20 years ago. But how would it be handled in today’s supercharged, white-hot NOW media?

Night of: Lead story on SportsCenter, with the clip being played a minimum of three times per show.

Second day: Top item in most blogs of note, complete with video clip and witty banter; perhaps one or two enterprising blogs might be able to start selling “Have another donut” t-shirts almost immediately. … Continued repeated showings of the clip on SportsCenter. Heavy discussion item on talk radio and shows such as “Around the Horn.” … Overall sentiment: Schoenfeld was out of line and should be embarrassed. Overall sentiment from hockey fans: Koharski had it coming.

Third day: More legs for the story because this is the day replacement refs are working. More clip replays; perhaps a montage of other famous meltdowns. … Outraged columnists wondering what kind of example this is setting for the kids.

Fourth day: Analysis of how the replacement refs did. … Hockey blogs frantically compiling lists of 10 worst calls in Don Koharski’s career. … A general putting to bed of the matter, except among the bored and/or lazy. But don’t take our word for it: Check out the clip for yourself:

Fasola-link! Brawndo.

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