How do you tell a rainbow, “Hey, don’t be a rainbow. Don’t spread love and goodness after the rain. Don’t be fleeting and fickle, all or nothing.” You don’t. And that is precisely why you also don’t tamper with Carlos Gomez. Some nights, he’s going to hit the field with his giant puppy paws and his mouth wide open, and he’s going to make a mess of it all. And some nights, like last night, he’s going to be a rainbow. He has a terrible OBP and swings at pitches that would make a young Torii Hunter blush. But he also can do this: one night after the Twins get one measly hit, and almost two hours after a rain delay, Go-Go hits a leadoff home run, then sprints around the bases with a home run trot faster than most of us trying to score from first on a double. He follows later with a triple, then a double, then a single. Cycle. Four hits, all the colors of the rainbow. A pot of gold. We’re 32 games into the season, and our friend Jim already has an intense, Puckett-in-his-prime baseball crush on Go-Go. We’re pretty sure he’s getting a key made right now, just in case Gomez needs a place to crash sometime. And he’s not alone. We fully intended this to be a post about our favorite one-game statistical accomplishments. But we got sidetracked. Let’s get back to business.

Baseball: It’s the cycle. Yeah, it can be kind of fluky, but so can a no-hitter. We dig the versatility. Love it.

Basketball: Triple-double. Again, the versatility. Aggressive play (scoring), selflessness (assists) and grit (rebounding). With one notable exception.

Hockey/soccer: The natural hat trick. Three goals in a row without anybody else on either team scoring. Loud and clear. You are awesome.

Football: Whenever certain players reach certain yardage thresholds or get into the end zone. Fantasy football is killing us all.

Golf: The albatross. Because it usually takes some guts. And you can’t argue with three under par on a hole.

Feel free to add on and/or disagree.

Fasola-link! Oh, Mr. Redlegs, no! Won’t someone think of the children?

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