Dave MN took the unusual step of sending his COW post before we could even give it to him. Thankfully, he was the winner. Otherwise, that would have been awkward. He delivers the goods on his baseball viewing experience right about now:

The Twins made their first appearance (of three) this season on Sunday Night Baseball last night. I wanted to be sure that I took this opportunity to learn from Joe Morgan and John Miller, top team of the World Wide Leader. I mean, they so rarely grace the Twins telecasts with their unique brand of baseball talkery, I couldn’t just let it go by.

Here’s what I learned:

*It’s hard to catch a knuckleball pitcher.

*The only reason why the ball doesn’t go out of the park every time that David Ortiz makes contact with it is that he hit it wrong somehow (top of the ball, bottom of the ball, etc).

*The two hardest positions in baseball are shortstop (Jeter’s position) and center field, unless there is a knuckleball pitcher, in which case it is catcher (See also #1).

*It’s surprising that the Twins don’t have more home runs because they play in such a “home run ballpark” (The Twins then hit two home runs in four batters).

*Joe Mauer’s last name can also be pronounced “Moy-er”.

*The Red Sox have a “potent offense.” It can be described in no other way.

*“There should be a rule for knuckleball pitchers.” Said rule was not explained. I’m assuming the rule is that every time the catcher doesn’t catch the ball, the fielding team gets a run. If this were the case, the Red Sox would have been up 43-5 in the third inning.

*The most interesting footrace to see out of the players on the Twins and Red Sox teams is Coco Crisp vs. Jacoby Ellsbury.

*Joe Morgan used to “run”. Coco Crisp “flies.”

Some variation on point #1 again.

*Delmon Young’s “arm” is more noteworthy than Michael Cuddyer’s.

*When a great catch on a bases-loaded line drive is made by Mike Lamb, it is a “good base-running play by the Red Sox.”

Finally, no matter how much/little time is left in the game, there’s “plenty of time for the Red Sox potent offense.”

I’m going to write a book called, Everything I Know About Baseball I Learned from Joe and John (subtitle: It’s hard to catch a knuckleball pitcher).

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