RandBall special series: Stupid Games We’ve Created
Posted on May 15th, 2008 – 1:56 PMBy Michael Rand
Lest we become accused by the great Kraig Applecherry of another nostalgic trip, let us recall our youth and the ridiculous games we used to make up. Growing up an only child, we created so many things, up to and including the throwing of a Nerf ball against our bedroom wall, smacking it with a plastic bat on the carom, then declaring the resulting hit back off the wall to be a “home run” if it crossed a certain threshold upon its return to the floor. The point? There was none, except that it provided very nice filler while we watched the Atlanta Braves lose two of every three games. The point right now? If you love sports and competition, you have likely created such silly games yourself. Thus we offer he latest special feature in these here parts: Stupid Games We Created. In this case, the We is everyone, not just me. To illustrate that point, the series officially kicks off right now with Stensation, who created a game just yesterday. Ever played “MulchBall?” Didn’t think so. Here we go:
We are a lazy nation, evidenced evermore by a game created yesterday afternoon called “MulchBall.”
Combined, my neighbor and I have two croquet sets, a box of horse shoes and a bag of bocce balls to occupy us in the summer months. However, yesterday we were just kicking it in the backyard over a couple of beers. A third creature, his Shetland sheep dog Zach, was in the mix and in the mood to play. So we began tossing him an old tennis ball. Soon, as instincts took over, it became a competitive match.
The first human to get the tennis ball up and over a pile of mulch across the yard - without Zach getting to it first - made the 10 foot walk to the garage fridge to fetch the next beverage.
Sounds easy - but a maple tree, power lines, bushes, a fire pit and stacked wood are all in play in this particular yard. It’s like target lawn jarts, only nobody to date has been killed playing MulchBall.
We were actually trying to put spin on the tennis ball, getting it to bounce in front of the bushes, then veer right behind the fire pit and up the mulch pile.
In the end, a well-executed, low-angle sidearm toss did the trick for yours truly.
What’s your ridiculous creation? Give us a taste in the comments and send in an e-mail with a fuller description if you think it deserves a guest post.
9 Responses to "RandBall special series: Stupid Games We’ve Created"
I played a game in which the it was a mix of hockey, roller skating and tennis.
Basically, you had to skate down the court while bouncing a tennis ball on your racket and then try to get it past the opposing teams goalie.
We called it, “Awesome.”
Best game ever.
My brother and I invented a game called “Tennisball”. We used a small souvenir wood bat, a tennis ball, and some bases. Played just like baseball, but you were required to keep both hands on a foot and a half long bat for your swing. Lots of ghost runners involved. Sadly all my brother’s players were named Jose Canseco. All was great until my dad parked his 2 WEEK OLD truck behind us. Needless to say my brother swinging as hard as he can put a foot and a half long dent in the truck and went up to tell my dad while he was taking a crap…mainly so he couldn’t chase him and beat the tar out of him. Sadly, that game died after that.
The other we only got to play every couple of years. It was a mix of down hill skiing and hockey. The road next to our house would ice over on occasion, and our road was the last in the state of MN to get salted. Nice hill there to skate down with checking allowed. Loser gets a white-wash.
Just for all of us Kubel advocates, he just ran through a stop sign rounding third to get thrown out. FUNDAMENTALS!
We used to play a winter game that was basically King of the Hill, but with teams. Three guys trying to reach one point on the hill, three others trying to prevent them from getting there. As an added bonus, to kick off each round, one of the players on the attacking team was required to shout something inappropriate.
We also once played the golf course from the first tee to the farthest point from the clubhouse (the 12th green). Making it more fun, to get there you have to cross a road and go around some fairly expensive houses. The winning score was 14, and one person withdrew, unable to continue, after hitting a tree with their club.
College roommate and I had a variation of baseball that involved hitting a nerf basketball with your arm towards arbitrary points around the living room that were worth various hits. (Ghost runners were used, of course.)
Game was outlawed after we knocked a rather large glass of very red kool-aid onto other roommate’s homework.
Balls of Steel. Just as stupid as it sounds.
Played with a particularly sturdy set of boards for bags (or “cornhole,” for the provocative crowd), opponents sit directly on the board, straddling the hole. Bags must be thrown from the seated position, and bags in the air cannot be interfered with. Game ends when one participant catches or otherwise deflects a bag, or moves from seated position.
I invented a game derived from cricket that apparently is now called baseball. I also invented sideburns and opposite field singles. I hear Joe Mauer has a shrine to me somewhere in his condo.
My sister and I used to play tennis on the driveway with badminton rackets, using the line down the middle of the driveway as the “net”. We broke the lightbulb on the front of the garage.
