Friday (Movie Quotes) Edition: Wha’ Happened?
Posted on May 16th, 2008 – 8:42 AMBy Michael Rand
Overrated! (Clap-clap clap-clap-clap). You might rather talk about Purple Jesus’ declaration that he will go for 2K and be the MVP (or at least talk about Zygi Wilf’s, um, interesting facial expression); you might prefer more Twins chatter off the downer series against Toronto and heading into interleague play vs. Colorado tonight (hey, all we’re saying is check the career numbers: Livo vs. Punto at the plate. And it’s not as much of an indictment of Punto as it is a glorification of Mr. Hernandez); there might even be some comedy gold to be mined from an alleged set of Vince Young pictures. But today, we’re here to deliver movie quotes. Specifically, these are quotes from five of the most overrated films of all-time. Let’s have at it:
1. Anyway, like I was sayin’, shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it.
2. In L.A., nobody touches you. We’re always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something.
3. I’m not sure I agree with you a hundred percent on your police work, there, Lou.
4. They’re gonna *execute* her! Look, a few minutes ago you said you didn’t want to just wait here to be captured. Now all you want to do is stay?
5. We got a winner, I said we got a winner, we got a winner! Our next winner is that delightful personality, straight from Brighton Beach Brooklyn, please give a juicy welcome to Mrs. Sarah Goldfarb!
Fasola-link! A 224 mph train? Sure.
Later today: Return of Stu’s Hunt Down and so much more.
26 Responses to "Friday (Movie Quotes) Edition: Wha’ Happened?"
1. Forest Gump
2. Crash?
4. Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (YOU TAKE THAT BACK, MICHAEL RAND!!! YOU TAKE THIS MOVIE OFF THE OVER RATED LIST RIGHT [REDACTED] NOW!!!!!!
(Hootie makes angry face, crosses arms, pouts.)
3. Fargo
5. Requiem for a Dream.
(Angry about Fargo inclusion, Brandon copies Hootie’s reaction and waits for an explanation from Rand.)
Rand’s from North Dakota. Technically he has to say Fargo was [redacted]
Crash couldn’t have sucked harder if it was a vacuum cleaner.
1. Forrest Gump. Overwrought, trite, and it defeated Pulp Fiction AND Shawshank for best picture. Grrrrrr.
2. Crash. See: Stu.
3. Fargo. See: Lundeen. No, seriously, just didn’t like it. Can’t explain it any further than that. Big Coen Bros. fan. Fargo was just too over the top.
4. Star Wars. Take away the kitsch and the childhood memories and you have a pretty bad movie that doesn’t stand the test of time. Watch it objectively next time. It is possible for a childhood classic to stand up. (See: Future, Back to the).
5. Requiem for a Dream: More like Requiem for a Nightmare. Zing! But seriously, bad plot, bad acting, depressing as [redacted] but not in a thought-provoking way.
Sadly, I’ve seen more of this week’s movie quote movies (proportionally) than I have any other’s (1,2,4).
Sorry, that’s 1,3,4
So glad I’ve found two others who hated Crash as aggressively as I did. I particularly enjoy the message: “racism’s OK because everyone does it!” Worst movie I’ve ever seen, and I say that without a hint of hyperbole.
@ Rand, through tear streaked eyes:
Who would remove the kitsch and childhood memories from Star Wars?? Are you soulless, or just heartless??
@Brandon: You bring up a good question- what is the worst movie peoples here have seen? Mine is Riding in Cars With Boys. The mere mention of that movie sends me into a fit of rage.
When a Man Loves a Woman. Andy Garcia and Meg Ryan as a hopeless drunk. My date and I walked out after 35 minutes. Worst thing I’ve ever seen.
I think Minnesotans have more of a right to hate Fargo than North Dakotans…Dakotians…Dakoti…whatever they’re called.
We’re the ones that have to put up with the “Oh, you’re from Minnesota? I saw Far-goh”
Seriously, I want punch everyone I meet that says that.
As for the rest of the list, I tend to think that pretty much every other list that Rand has done has been a list of the most overrated movies ever (see: any list containing a Wes Anderson flick, which is all of them), so why should this week be any different?
You bring up a good question- what is the worst movie peoples here have seen?
Some combination of Matthew McConaughey + Actress + Wacky Premise = me hemorraging blood out of my eyes. There’s about four or five of these, and I can’t remember which one I watched, but Christ on a bike, it just about killed me.
That said, I can almost guarantee the Sex In The City movie will be worse.
I Spit On Your Grave. Rocket will back me up on this one. Not a good idea.
I liked “Fargo.” Apparently I am alone in this.
The worst movie I’ve ever seen was “Tomcats.” Guess what? Jerry O’Connell and Jake Busey *don’t* manage to carry this movie! I know, who saw that coming? I’m still angry at the person who dragged me to this piece of crap.
Close runner-up: “Planet of the Apes,” the remake with Marky Mark.
Apparently seeing Matthew McConaughey’s abs isn’t worth $8.50 to Stu?
I liked Fargo and Forest Gump and When a Man Loves a Woman. Way to make a girl feel like a loser on her 29th birthday.
You don’t write like you’re a day over 25.
Thanks, Stu. I’m going to assume that’s a compliment.
I love Forrest Gump myself. muy entertaining and a sweet soundtrack
Which 29th birthday is it, AZGG?
(/rimshot)
But seriously, happy birthday.
Kudos to dissing “Crash” (best criticism I’ve read: “written by someone who likes to say, ‘Some of my best friends are black.’”) and “Forrest Gump” (best criticism I’ve read: “A hymn to stupidity”). But I think you need to give “Fargo” another look — I too thought it was overrated when I first saw it, for the same reason you cited. But now, the over-the-top aspects somehow seem more endearing and necessary to the story — for example, the much-maligned Mike Yanagita scene is vital to Marge’s darkening vision of the way the world is, and there’s nothing ironic in the way her solid marriage to Norm is portrayed.
If you want the truth, I am exactly 52 years younger than Liberace.
Isn’t he dead? You’re 52 years younger than dead?
…and because I just went to Liberace’s wiki page I am going to change my name to Walter Busterkeys.
danonymous - a visit to Liberace’s wiki is just another life situation where the gold lame tiger stripe thong is in order.
