Ramon frightens us sometimes. In a good way. Here is Part I of his three-part homage to Peter King, which he calls:

Ramon > Friday Night Long Snapper

Is that Interweb jargon? In any event, he wrote this a week ago. If any of the points have since gone askew, we can’t do much about it now. Consider it a miracle that we even know how to post things for advance use. Here we go:

MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Notes on Chris Simon, Nick Punto, the upcoming NBA draft, things I think I’m thinking about, the NBA, how I feel about the beer at Herkimer’s and Shjon Podein’s Children’s Foundation, on a damp, cold Minneapolis afternoon:

*The Twins miss Nick Punto. I’m not going to get into stats or the whys or wherefores. They just do. And that’s sad. The saddest thing since Calvin Griffith let Rod Carew go.

*Chris Simon has signed to play pro hockey in Russia. Turns out Simon is actually a KGB double-agent who’s job it was to destroy North American Hockey as we knew it. He almost succeeded, but his ultimate failure was to sign with the Wild, who get about as much national attention as RandBall.

*According to my sources at the Champps in Butler Square, the Wolves will end up trading the first round pick they got back from Boston back to Boston for Boston’s next three second round picks, M.L. Carr and the Twin Cities syndication rights to “Cheers” reruns. Some teams wouldn’t make such a bold move, but you have to love how gutsy Kevin McHale is.

*The beer at Herkimer’s needs work.

*My good friend Shjon Podein, Stanley Cup winner with the Colorado Avalanche (thanks for letting me sip on the Dom, buddy), Rochester native, UMD alumni, is holding his 11th annual Shjon Podein Children’s Foundation Celebrity Party and Golf Tournament for his foundation that raises money and awareness for children in “facing extraordinary difficulties” including children stricken with the debilitating disease Ataxia. The event’s June 29-30 in Rochester. Tons of fun, lots of hobnobbing with local and national celebs and sports figures, live music, and golf with a celeb at the beautiful Rochester Golf and Country Club. And most importantly, you get to meet the kids, which will make you forget every bad shot you made on the course. Shjon won the 2001 (same year he won the Cup) King Clancy Memorial Trophy awarded to the NHL player “who best exemplifies leadership on and off the ice and who has made a noteworthy humanitarian contribution to his community.” Shjon and his beautiful wife Sherry, who have settled their family in Minneapolis, put their hearts and souls into this foundation. Guy’s a local hero.

*The Lynx may win it all this year.

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