We’re feeling a Mauer homer, Bret Michaels, COW
Posted on May 30th, 2008 – 4:20 PMBy Michael Rand
Joe Mauer almost went deep yesterday; we are going on record that he hits his first one in this series vs. the Yankees. And by this time next week, Delmon Young has one, too. Just a feeling.
As Charlie the Tuna once said to Bret Michaels, “Hey man, we should hang out. How can I get ahold of you?” To which Bret Michaels replied:
Bret is not online, nor does he have an email address or instant messenger account. BretMichaels.com is the only official way of contacting Bret over the Internet. Please feel free to contact us if you feel that you have been misled by an individual claiming to be Bret Michaels of Poison.
So vote for the Commenter Of the Week. And don’t claim to be the man who originally performed Unskinny Bop if you’re not really him. That’s what we’re really trying to say here.
14 Responses to "We’re feeling a Mauer homer, Bret Michaels, COW"
Sorry to be slacking on my gossip duties. I’ve been working here in the homeland, and I have two questions for you Twin Citians:
1) Why does KFAN have a cancer patient advertising the Dan Barreiro show on billboards? (No offense to any actually attractive cancer patients.)
2) I saw that the downtown Champps is closed on Sundays until football season. Does it make anyone else sad that this downtown can’t support drunk sports fans all weekend, all year long?
I’m voting for Clarence Swamptown, because I can.
Responding to AZGG:
1. When he did a remote broadcast from my wife’s place of employment, she asked me if he was sick or always looked like that. Poor guy.
2. That Chammmmpppp’ses wouldn’t serve me one time because I only had my clipped driver’s license on me, and not my new one. They can go hang, is what I’m saying.
Huh, BretMichaels.com is the only official way of contacting me over the internet, too.
I want an update on Joker’s love life. But an update on the newest young Swamptown would be good too.
I vote for Beck’s mom.
I vote for fasolamatt.
Who gets to vote for COW? Everyone? Or just former COW’s?
If it’s everyone, I vote for Clarence, as he’s been solid all week, and he isn’t Stu, who has also been his usual solid self all week, but wins too much.
If it’s just former COWs, then SCREW YOU FORMER COWS!
/Jealous Hootie
Well then… let’s let Hootie join the club. As long as it’s about something faso is interested in.
It should be noted that “Jealous Hootie” is the same as “went to BW-3 for wings and beer then came home and had a bomber of co-worker’s homebrew stout Hootie”. Mostly Returned to Normal Hootie offers his apologies to any of the esteemed former COWs who were offended.
As the RandBall bylaws dictate, anyone can vote for COW, especially if they’re kinda buzzed.
“As the RandBall bylaws dictate, anyone can vote for COW, especially if they’re kinda buzzed.”
According to today’s decision by the Democratic Party (ostensibly in regards to the Florida/Michigan Primaries), each non-former COW receives a half vote. On the condition that they’re buzzed and votes for Faso.
Hillary Clinton: fat ankles
Fasolamatt: just plain fat
Hillary Clinton: has a kid who went to camp in Minnesota
Fasolamatt: has two kids going to the same camp
Hillary Clinton: represents New York despite roots in suburban Chicago
Fasolamatt: represents St Paul despite roots in suburban Cleveland.
Yup, Hillary Clinton could be a COW.
Actually, Howard Dean just called me, and it turns out that I’m the consensus choice for Vice President in Charge of Partying Down. See you in Denver, jerkasses!
