In what can be thought of as the Tim Duncan Rule, applied to RandBall, The Hootie complained loudly about having never been a COW last week. He made a pouty face, and the refs (us in this case) had no choice but to remedy the situation and give him the floor. In all seriousness, The Hootie has been a solid contributor for quite some time now. It was past due.

After a year of various attempts at humor and insight, my first COW comes as the result of an alcohol inspired, (mostly) sarcastic Friday night rant against former COWs. A better man would refuse the honor, passing it on to one of the many deserving regulars — perhaps even the commenter he nominated. Not me. I shall bask in every last one of my undeserved COW words.

I’m facing what will undoubtedly be the craziest summer of my life. In two weeks I leave for an 11-day trip to Europe, where I’ll play assistant-chaperone to a dozen teenagers. I’ll return to a stack of wedding RSVPs and the calendar sitting a mere six weeks from The Big Day. As such, my thoughts are even more jumbled and disjointed than usual. This seems like the perfect recipe for a “Random Thoughts by The Hootie” post. With that unnecessarily long intro out of the way:

-GoGo is ridiculously fun to watch. His enthusiasm is enough to rekindle even the most jaded fan’s passion for the game.

-While I love that my fiancée enjoys Twins baseball, I wish less of her enthusiasm revolved around Mauer and GoGo, or at least focused on their on-field performance.

- Any gathering of three or more people is made better by beer and Rock Band.

-Trivial Pursuit — Always a better idea at the start of the game than the end.

- Strollers that rival small SUVs in size should be banned from the zoo.

-NHL and NBA playoffs are too long. Between those stretching into June and NFL training camp in late July, the MLB season doesn’t get enough time to itself.

- I haven’t been to a Twins game since the opener. This is sad.

- 300 words: Not that many once you get started.

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