Monday (They were ready) edition: Wha’ Happened?
Posted on June 2nd, 2008 – 8:57 AMBy Michael Rand
Let it be known that on June 1, 2008, we made the connection between how Minnesotans approach weather and how Minnesotans approach sports. Sunday was gorgeous. Like, turn your head and stare for an uncomfortable amount of time gorgeous. It was, at least in our mind, the first exceedingly nice weekend day after a spring filled with cool air, rain and devastating storms. The good folks of the Twin Cities were aching for a day like that. And they were ready. See, we attend Grand Old Day pretty much every year, even though it’s pretty much the same every year. You know what you’re getting: a huge crowd, music, some good people watching and perhaps some food you really didn’t need.
Minnesotans, much like Randal Graves, hate people but love gatherings. That is to say, there are a lot of introverts here who get very shy in, say, groups of three to six but are emboldened by the sheer volume of people that comes from a special event. They are further emboldened by beverages. And the heat makes them happy and thirsty. In all, we’d have to say yesterday’s Grand Old Day’s crowd was more aggressively happy and less clothed than any in recent memory. It was a release of months of pent-up energy and frustration — a determination after so many subpar days to squeeze every drop of life out of the best one of the year.
That, folks, also describes many a typical sports fan here. Minnesota hasn’t had a champion in one of the four major pro sports since 1991. We all know this. But it gets even more frustrating when one considers that all the Wild, Wolves, Twins and Vikings have all had legitimate chances since then to break through and yet overall the combined records in playoff games of all four in that span is 39-72. (6-15 for the Twins, 11-18 for the Wild, 17-30 for the Wolves and 5-9 for the Vikings). It makes us even more desperate for a champion, just like the harsh winters make us long for days like yesterday. And it makes us seize upon the players and circumstances that could, maybe, get us there — creating a fervor disproportionate to the actual situation.
We’re not saying this is good or bad. Neil Young thought it was better to burn out than to fade away (actually, James Joyce thought it first). There’s a visceral and necessary fun in getting caught up in the moment of a glorious Sunday or a blockbuster trade for a star defensive end. We’re just saying the good people of Minnesota love sports and weather — and, as a whole, they participate in them in the same way.
Random weekend leftovers: “Hot Beef Sundae” is 1) The name of Corey Koskie’s new Canadian punk-metal band. 2) An alternate spelling for Stu’s next fantasy football team. OR 3) Something you could buy at Grand Old Day? … Reason No. 546 why the Twin Cities needs better late night transportation options or at least citizens aware of taxicabs: scene — a drunk couple arguing after Friday’s Breeders show at First Avenue (yes, we’re old, and yes, they were awesome and yes, the RBBH has told about 10 people that she got to meet Kelley Deal). We didn’t get the whole gist of things, but we think one was supposed to be the designated driver and kind of maybe forgot. We did NOT miss hearing, however, the woman yelling loudly at the man, “Well why don’t you try driving us home, you [redacted] [redacted].” … We attended both Grand Old Day and a gathering put together by friends in Minneapolis that was in direct protest to Grand Old Day. Does that make us the Johnny Damon of Twin Cities fests?
We’re not completely wrong yet, but we’re getting there. Congrats to KG and the Celtics. … With the way the bullpen has been worked lately, we get the feeling Livan is throwing at least seven innings tonight, regardless of how many runs score. If you’re a Twins fan, you’d best be hoping that those 59 mph floaters are fooling the Yanks tonight.
The Hootie: If you’re reading, you are the Commenter Of the Week. A clerical oversight has prevented you from previously claiming the award. 300 words at your leisure, or by 3 p.m. today. Whichever is sooner.
Fasola-link! Leon Powe.
32 Responses to "Monday (They were ready) edition: Wha’ Happened?"
After four years of working “Teenage Battle of the Bands”, I’ve taken the last three years off of Grand Old Day, to the point where I forgot it was going on yesterday (less than a mile from my house) other than to wonder why there was loud music coming from the north…
ITEM: Hot Beef Sundae (or Hot Beef Sunday, for that matter) is an excellent name for a fantasy football team, and it will be filed away for future reference.
ITEM: I prefer the Breeders to the Pixies. I enter Safari into the courtroom as Exhibit A that I am not wrong about this.
ITEM: I realize the Twins are a .500 baseball team, but they really should be going for a sweep tonight.
“We attended both Grand Old Day and a gathering put together by friends in Minneapolis that was in direct protest to Grand Old Day. Does that make us the Johnny Damon of Twin Cities fests?”
I’d prefer to call you the Darren Sharper or maybe even the Bill Belichek of TC fests. Damn you Benedict Arnold.
The Hootie, caught completely off-guard, finds his mind has gone blank. Beauty.
Fortunately, earning a history degree gave me the ability to fill all sorts of space with meaningless words and make it seem relevant. 300 words by 3 pm? On it!
That 12 inning game on Saturday was endless. I’m glad it started at 6, or I wouldn’t have gotten home until 1 or so. I also never thought I’d see the day that a pitcher intentionally walk Punto with the winning run on third and Gomez on deck, but there it was (and it worked).
Could the Gophers athletic program finally being going in the right direction? If this happens I think they will be set.
http://www.fannation.com/truth_and_rumors/ncaa
Plus those damn Irish that like to fight would be screwed for at least another decade.
jama - I’ll bite. How would Maturi’s departure help the Gophers?
Also, while the PP is definitely good at spreading rumors, it’s worth noting that Maturi graduated from ND 41 years ago, and has spent the intervening four decades elsewhere, far from the Golden Dome.
That 12 inning game on Saturday was endless
Dave MN and my wife, thinking exactly alike. Those last couple innings were just punishing, especially given how close Lamb came to ending it.
Jon
I could go on a long rant about how much I dislike Maturi. Instead I’ll just say I don’t think he has done a very good job with the big time sports.
I will give him credit for getting Tubby though.
Dave MN and my wife, thinking exactly alike. Those last couple innings were just punishing, especially given how close Lamb came to ending it.
That was rough. Where were the fans blowing that hit over the fence?
That game was long enough for me to sober up from my Summit beer tour and my hour of free Pint Club Member beer at Town Hall.
jama -
Maturi was hired in the summer of 2002. Since then, he’s helped secure funding for a new football stadium and fired the coaches of two of the three revenue-producing sports. You could argue, and I did, that he should have fired both earlier - especially Dan Monson - but apart from that, what’s he done?
Also, discounting small-time sports is a little disingenuous, considering that the Gophers have won a lot of titles in his time, and if you’re going to blame him for football/hoops problems, you have to credit him for the other successes.
Maturi is a scapegoat and the next AD will be as well. Even if we won a basketball/football championship under a new AD, fans would forget within three years and be calling for his (or her) head.
It’s become cliche at this point.
The lack of clothing at this year’s Grand Old Day made it my official favorite. A note about Sunday events/festivals though: Ultimately, they all lead to depression, because you are forced to pack a whole day’s worth of Monday dread into about an hour at the end of the day. This, combined with the 16-ounce depressants you’ve been having all day, makes it difficult.
Maturi’s approach during the last round of football/basketball hiring was to be commended, in my opinion. The results are yet to be decided, but the process was smart.
We visited my sister-in-law and her boyfriend this weekend in St. Paul. Although we left before the festivities got underway yesterday, we saw plenty of folks walking towards Grand in various states of undress. Between that and the previous evening at Alary’s, I have to ask: does St. Paul have something against pants?
Stu - While Minneapolis has the reputation as the wild, hard-partying pants-off kind of town, like Bobby Jackson’s U of M diploma, it’s all for show.
The truth is that St. Paul, like small towns across the state, is the place to be if you really want to let your pants down.
Jon
I will give Maturi all the credit he wants for those “small-time” sports. But without Football, Basketball, and Hockey there would be no small-time sports. With all the sports at the U how could they not win a title in at least one or two? I think most, if not all, Big 10 schools have had success in one sport or another over the last 5 years.
You also forgot to mention how Maturi had just given the basketball coach he fired an extension. It’d be like building a house and then selling it for fire wood.
I also don’t think he deserves all the credit for the football stadium. There were a lot of people that worked a lot harder at getting that stadium then he did.
I just think there are a lot more AD’s out there doing a lot better things than Maturi. I know there are also quite few that are also worse (Notre Dame).
jama - a couple of points:
1. Since Maturi arrived, three sports have won national titles (both hockey programs and wrestling). 13 of 23 U sports have won a Big Ten or WCHA title.
2. Football had gone 35 years without a Big Ten title before Maturi arrived. Men’s basketball had cheated for its only title in the previous two decades. Blaming Maturi for not turning this around in six years is a little tough. (And since Maturi got here, men’s hockey has won a national title, two WCHA titles, and three WCHA tournaments, so it’s not like he’s 0-for in the big sports.)
His mistakes were big-time mistakes, but I can’t see how the Gopher athletic department isn’t better off today than it was six years ago, when Maturi arrived and had to knit together one of the last fractured departments in the nation.
Oh yeah, I’d almost forgotten about the Block M with the little “s.” next to it. As if we couldn’t tell they were women. Ugh.
Jon
1. I agree that looks good.
2. So since they were bad before it’s okay that they are still bad? The Hockey program has actually gotten worse since he arrived. I agree that you don’t expect him to turn everything around in 6 years but progress sure would be nice. I think Basketball is on the right track but that took 5+ years and football is in a worse situation than when he arrived. Granted a new coach takes time.
I think you could argue the athletic department is basically in a holding pattern. He has improved the financials somewhat but like most atheltics in Minnesota his tenure has been overall mediocre.
While Minneapolis has the reputation as the wild, hard-partying pants-off kind of town, like Bobby Jackson’s U of M diploma, it’s all for show.
That’s a +1, right there.
Re: Bobby Jackson’s Diploma
“Game Boy Two-Player Link Ethics” is a perfectly legitimate degree program. The loss of the General College was a shot across the bow of the Athletic Department.
Dave Mn
I think he minored in “Theory of Tetris”. He wrote a great thesis on the importance of the square.
jama - I would disagree that football is in worse shape than six years ago. For one, there’s the stadium, which Maturi didn’t make happen, but he certainly helped. Secondly, he’s dumped Glen “Status Quo” Mason (albeit two years too late) for a guy that just brought in the best recruiting class of the last quarter-century at least. To borrow a football term, that seems to me to be showing some forward progress.
And as I noted before, the hockey program won WCHA titles in 2006 and 2007, the first back-to-back league titles for the Gophers since 1988-89. (I can’t understand how you think this represents the hockey program getting worse.)
It seems to me that both basketball & football - and the athletic department as a whole - are on a better track than they were before he arrived.
All this talk of pants-lessness and “various states of undress” really has me second guessing my choice of plans for yesterday. Why wasn’t I informed of these things beforehand?!?
Did anyone actually try the Hot Beef Sundae? If so, can you please describe it? Is this something we should be lobbying the Twins to offer at the new stadium?
Does the Hot Beef Sundae come in a waffle cone or a dish?
Jon
You win! Maturi is my new favorite AD in the Big 10. He is the savior of the Gophers. I sure hope they put a statue of him up at the new stadium. I will never bring up past failures again.
Jama - Do you want to trade me a Eugene Smith card for a Joel Maturi? I’ve got doubles and I just need Smith to complete my set of 11…
“Neil Young thought it was better to burn out than to fade away…”
He also re-sang it as “It’s better to burn out, rust never sleeps”. Which in, my opinion, is a direct reference to Doug Risebrough’s insomnia problem.
Just to let y’all know, me and Mrs. Ramon made it home just fine after The Breeders’ show. The argument wasn’t about who was supposed to be designated driver. Mrs. Ramon’s a dog lover and thought I was taking her a Rottweiler exposition. (It’s all good - you can’t make up if you don’t have an argument.)
I’ve attended a couple of GODs in my day. A brother of a college friend had a townhouse right on Grand, which made for choice home base. Of all the embarrassing moments linked to GOD, my favorite had to be makeshift square-dancing to Cotton-Eyed Joe with strangers at the Wild Onion. It was completely spontaneous, glorious, atrocious and ferocious.
Dave
I will never trade my Eugene Smith card for a Maturi. Now if you can find me that Tim Curley card where he is giving JoPa the finger. You got yourself a deal.
I think the Hot Beef Sundae is trotted out by a pig with custom made saddle bags and served in a miniature St. Paul Saints helmet.
