By Michael Rand
Name: Luc Longley
Nickname: Luc is short for Lucien. Personally, I would have stuck with Lucien Longley, grown a handlebar mustache, and romanced wealthy dowagers.
Claim to Fame, Minnesota: the Wolves took him 7th overall in the 1991 NBA Draft. As you may remember, he was Australian. I don’t think it’s been determined why they took him after they’d drafted another center (Felton Spencer) in the first round the previous year. Perhaps they were trying to model themselves after the Houston Rockets’ Twin Towers of Hakeem Olajuwon and Ralph Sampson, only with players that weren’t as good.
Claim to Fame, Everywhere Else: was traded to the Chicago Bulls for the immortal Stacey King in 1994. He would go on to carry the Bulls to three consecutive NBA championships, with some help from solid role players like Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen.
Where He Is Now: back in Australia. Per this interview with the Arizona Republic, he’s in the charter vessel business and has a Marthaler-esque passion for Australian rules football. He also managed to escape a fire in April of last year that burned his $2 million Fremantle home to the ground.
Glorious Randomness: at press time, Longley is still believed to be the only NBA player to have been bitten by a scorpion while sorting CDs. To recap, Luc Longley has survived scorpions, explosions and the Minnesota Timberwolves. He will outlive us all, is what I’m saying.