Milk it
Posted on June 6th, 2008 – 10:00 AMBy Michael Rand
Nobody really knows how badly Paul Pierce initially felt after colliding with Kendrick Perkins last night, except for Pierce, perhaps a few teammates, and that guy who tried to block the camera from following the dramatic wheelchair ride by putting up a hand to cover about 1/50th of the screen. (I can’t see Paul Pierce’s ear! What’s going on! Second favorite part, by the way: Perkins going for treatment later. Hey guys, I’m hurt, too! Guys! Guys?) We’re sure Pierce was hurt. What we’re not sure of is whether, at some point while he was down, Pierce decided to raise the ante and milk it to make it bigger than it really was — getting carried, then wheeled off, only to come back what seemed like 12 seconds later to save the day with some clutch play. If Pierce is noticeably hobbled in Game 2, proving he played on some sort of superhuman combination of adrenaline and magic doctor aide after the collision, we will gladly eat our words and give Pierce credit for toughness. Willis Reed, no, but tough, yes. For now, though, we remain skeptical and want to ask a question: if indeed a good part of it was showmanship, what sort of company does Pierce join? Similar questions have been raised about Curt Schilling’s ankle injury and bloody sock in 2004, but again that’s a judgment call. What we’re asking is this: who are the players always limping around, only to ultimately be fine? Who are the floppers and divers? Who, in essence are the all-time fakers in sports? Or more appropriately: who are the all-time fakers in soccer, and who are the all-time fakers in sports other than soccer?
26 Responses to "Milk it"
I’ll go ahead and get this out of the way:
Soc-cer?
Soccer is all about faking. I’m convinced they get flopping-performance-based bonuses included in their contracts. One second you’re rolling around on the ground holding your leg like there’s a bone sticking out of it, then you’re back up and running around in a game where you never score.
That’s an easy one: Brett Favre. Most melodramatic athlete of all time.
Soccer is the reason why the NBA sucks now.
European players started coming into the league. They were raised on soccer and it’s love of flopping around after getting bumped in order to get calls. All of a sudden the refs in the NBA don’t know what to do. The only times such flopping happened during the sport they grew up with was when someone was actually hurt. So, with every flop, they assumed that there was some malicious contact. *Whistle* Foul!
Well, the rest of the NBA players aren’t going to stand by and let this happen to them. So, they start flopping, too. I mean, it works, right? And thus the NBA became stupid and nearly as unlikeable as soccer.
Imagine if people flopped back when the 1980s and 90s Pistons were playing. Laimbeer would have fouled out in the first quarter. Games would have been boring as hell.
I don’t seem to see nearly as much flopping in college hoops. I wonder why that is? I will admit that I don’t watch much other than March Madness…
And while I’m venting about what’s wrong with the NBA, can I get some support that each team should only get one timeout in the final minute of the game (no matter how many they had up until that point), and that intentionally fouling someone to send them to the line should be a technical?
The last minute should not take as long by itself as the other 11 minutes of the 4th quarter.
Related to Dave’s last post, during the last minute of last night’s games, the announcers were apoplectic that the Lakers weren’t fouling the Celtics. At this point, the Celtics were ahead by 8 points. The game was over. I think Jackson was doing the right thing by letting the game end. But I turned the game off with 16 seconds left, though, after the Lakers did foul, so I don’t know what happened after that.
I saw a proposal once that said the following:
Any fouls that lead to shots in the last minute of an NBA game would give the team that was fouled the option to either take the two shots or take one shot and get the ball.
It sounds like a pretty reasonable idea to me…
Soccer fakers? Italy. Seriously, the Italians are the worst, with the Portuguese coming in a close second.
Agreed about needing less timeouts, but the flopping doesn’t really seem like much of a problem. You see it maybe once, twice per game. Just steer clear of watching the Spurs and you should be OK.
Floppers?
Obviosly, you have never seen Italy play a soccer game.
Oh, Euro 2008! Is starting soon!
h/t to Nathan for also being on the ball!
Portugal is the bomb diggity, followed by the Netherlands!
FWIW, Pierce did this once as a Jayhawk. He hurt his knee in the first half, left the game, and came back in the second half. He’s probably one of those guys who feels sharp pain upon the injury but has a high threshold for pain once the throbbing begins. I know I’m like that. I’m a redacting baby if I get hit. But a few minutes later I turn into the Hulk.
Actually, Dave, the Europeans have made the NBA a little more bearable. In the past all it took was loose ends of a defender’s jersey contacting the shooter and a foul was called. There was absolutely no need to foul because the refs were calling any contact outside of the paint. Now the refs require a little more to blow the whistle. But you’re right about nipping the bud on the flopping.
Agreed. Not sure how many timeouts they have now but why don’t they take a cue from hockey. I imagine since hockey lines are on the bench 2/3 of the game, that’s why there is only one timeout allowed per hockey game. With the NBA, why not go with one TO per quarter? The primary purpose for timeouts now is rest and, oh, yeah, TV. IOW, changes to timeouts aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. Deal with it.
Didn’t Vlade Divac open up a school of Flopping out in California?
First you took flopping 101 then you smoked 2 packs of cigarettes to clear your head.
Shifty: Regarding NBA timeouts, they could still make like the NHL and have TV timeouts along with maybe 1 team timeout a quarter. I mean, it kills momentum and there would be constant calls of conspiracy if a team’s run was interrupted by a TV timeout, so I don’t know that it would fly like it does in the NHL. However, the flow of the game is just destroyed in the last minute of NBA games. It’s absolutely painful to watch.
Well, now that it’s Euro time, Ronaldo will revert back to being a diver for Portugal rather than the footballer of the year he was for United this season.
I love the guy in Red, but when he’s in Portugal, he’s evil.
All that being said, with no England in Austria/Switzerland, I’m behind Germany and the Netherlands. Though with Van Persie not in form, they lose a major asset.
Other great floppers
Basketball:
Mehmet Okur
Mark Madsen
Kobe Bryant(Only when he is shooting)
Reggie Miller
Baseball:
ARod
Jeter
Damon
I think I’m seeing a trend
AJ Pierzynski
Football:
Chad Johnson
Deion Sanders
Brett Favre
Rex Grossman
Jeremy Shockey
Cris Carter
Hoc-key?:
I’m sure there are floppers but I wouldn’t know who they would be. All the hockey players look the same to me.
The one thing Time outs are good for in the NBA is that the cheerleaders come out. Oh yeah and the team can advance the ball to half court.
Nathan-
While I am pulling for the Czech and Russia with a little Dutch thrown in for good measure I have all my predictions right here:
http://www.super-rookie.com/main/?p=1017
(and yes, I am hijacking this comment area for Euro 2008!)
Kobe sat out longer in the 4th quarter than did Pierce when he was “injured.” If you didn’t see the play happen, you would have thought a LA fan shot Pierce in leg. I thought it was great that the injury also somehow transfered to his left leg as well and he needed to be carried off the court. If he doesn’t win the Academy Award for best actor next year, he got robbed.
Did anyone see that KG now watches himself play from floor level?
Flopping is a bigger problem to me than the pace of games. Fouling in the final moments is a strategy that, while boring and anticlimactic, oftentimes becomes the only way a team can win. It rarely works, but taking away that right would change the entire game.
Dave, I agree completely. I don’t watch NBA games anymore because the final minutes are, yes, “absolutely painful to watch.” Even in the 80s it was taking 20 real minutes to play 5 game minutes. The ratio today is worse.
I’m not sure when I adopted the practice but I cannot remember watching any quarter but the fourth for years. And lately I don’t stop what I’m doing until the clock hits five minutes or so. Missed a lot of great games but I like college hoops better anyway.
BTW, if you use Firefox and have not yet discovered it, add RUTW? Are you watching this? is a game-watching bot that notifies you of great games, upsets and more (that are on TV in your area, too, I think).
Rand
How was that hail storm yesterday. Did the Prius* take a beating?
I’m assuming Rand owns a Prius. I thought it was mandatory as a Pug owner that you must also drive a Prius.
The scouting video of one of the Twins’ recent draft picks, Dominic De La Osa. I can see why scouts would love this guy, he might be the best player I have ever seen when the pitcher makes a pick off move to first.
It would be fun to see Croatia stir things up a bit.
I’ve slowed down pulling for the Netherlands ever since Dennis Bergkamp retired–not that I have anything against them, but Bergkamp was just so amazing to watch. I suppose it’ll be Croatia and the Greeks for me again this year, and then I’ll start looking at Germany and the Netherlands once those two get knocked out.
