Every preposterously outstanding story these days has to involve Roger Clemens. That’s a rule. Or at least it seems that way, given this new revelation from the New York Daily News: Clemens and other ballplayers have turned to a rather surprising new substance for an on-field pick-me-up — Viagra. Perhaps we’re mixing up our below-the-belt elixirs, but we think they should come with a new disclaimer: for if “pitching and hitting” performances lasting longer than four hours, please consult a physician. In any event, please do enjoy these paragraphs from the Daily News story (and thanks to Roughkat and his special lady friend for the, ahem, heads up).

Roger Clemens, whose claims he never took steroids are under federal investigation, has apparently discovered the benefits of another performance-enhancing drug sweeping the sports world - Viagra.

Clemens stashed the clearly marked, diamond-shaped pills in a GNC vitamin bottle in his locker at Yankee Stadium, according to a source familiar with the clubhouse, perhaps keeping the drug undercover to avoid the inevitable wisecracks about all the girlfriends he needed to please.

Clemens wasn’t alone. The pitcher, who is believed to have scored the drug from a teammate, joined the burgeoning number of athletes who have turned Vitamin V and its over-the-counter substitutes into one of the hottest drugs in locker rooms.

The drug is so widely used for off-label purposes that it has drawn the attention of anti-doping officials and law-enforcement agencies in the United States and beyond.

“All my athletes took it,” BALCO founder Victor Conte, whose acolytes included Jason Giambi, Barry Bonds and Marion Jones, said of an over-the-counter supplement he claimed mimicked the effects of Viagra.

“It’s bigger than creatine. It’s the biggest product in nutritional supplements.”

Other potential impacts:

*Mascots should no longer dress provocatively.

*The original case?

*An inning line consisting of 1R, 3H, 1E and 2LOB can be interpreted much differently now.

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