I suppose the important question to lead off is this: who wants to be the one to tell Mike Lamb that Kevin Slowey has more hits than he does in June? It’s too bad, because Lamb became my new favorite player this spring because of his ultra-sarcastic sense of humor

Anyway, on with the links:

*After reading this story from the Sporting News, in which Vikings DE Jared Allen hunts a bear, I think I speak for all of us when I say: I can’t wait until this guy shows up on “Kent Hrbek Outdoors.” My prediction: a wild-eyed Allen seems barely able to contain himself on the typical Hrbek leisurely fishing trip, until the newest Viking finally snaps, jumps out of the boat, and attempts to bite a walleye to death, while Hrbek looks on aghast. It’s going to be must-see TV.

*From Busted Coverage (via With Leather): The Twins’ 32nd-round draft pick, lefthander Adam Conley of Olympia HS in Washington state, has already proved his usefulness at one critical facet of pitching in the majors: tackling a baserunner after a close play at the plate.

*Two stories from Euro 2008: If you watched the Austria-Poland tilt on Thursday (and judging by the ratings, well, you actually might have), you’ll have remembered that commentators Adrian Healey and Robbie Mustoe spent virtually the entire match joking about an offer from Austrian brewer Ottakringer, promising free beer for life to the first Austrian goalscorer of the tournament. Well, Ivica Vastic got ol’ Osterreich on the board that day — and now, the Austrian FA is refusing to let Vastic collect his prize. Worst news ever?

The second story, via Awful Announcing: there are certain cooking utensils that perhaps you should not refer to on television. Clearly, Adrian Healey does not know this. [Note: rest of joke pre-empted, on grounds of not getting 3-5 people fired.]

*MDS at the FanHouse has the horrifying news: as expected, the broadcast coverage of the Vikings’ opening-week game will not actually require the Purple to show up. Mute your televisions now, folks.

*Dave Barry writes from the august Miami Herald: things don’t seem to be going too well in the newsroom.

That’s it for me; I guess the only question remaining is this: what are YOU doing for BI-2008? (The outcome has already been predicted, scientifically.) [Watch the language in either case, folks].

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