Cito Gaston is back; can Kelly Gruber be far behind?
Posted on June 20th, 2008 – 1:48 PMBy Michael Rand
There is nothing funnier — wait, or is it sadder? — than when a franchise shows such a lack of creativity and gives in to utter despair by throwing up its collective hands and deciding, “Hey, it worked once. Why not try it again?” All the locals still screaming for Bud Grant or Flip Saunders will very much enjoy the news that the Toronto Blue Jays have fired manager John Gibbons and replaced him with none other than Cito Gaston, 64, who presided over Toronto’s 1992 and 1993 World Series glory years. Upon getting the job, Gaston announced that Joe Carter would return immediately to the cleanup role. Dave Winfield and Kelly Gruber are also thought to be targets of the new manager. “I have Candy Maldonado on the line right now, and he promised he can deliver 20 homers a year,” Gaston said before adding, “we still draw 4 million fans a year and dominate baseball’s economic structure, right?” Sure do, Cito. Baseball is the same as you remember 15 years ago when you last won a championship. Now get to it.
Kelly Gruber’s Wikipedia page, by the way? Outstanding.
Shortly after retirement, Gruber made a failed attempt to take over the production company Rocco’s Jobbers by attempting to buy ownership interest from various principals in the company. This take over attempt was blocked by Gruber’s former teammate David Wells, who did not think that Gruber’s leadership skills would be beneficial to the continued growth of the company.
8 Responses to "Cito Gaston is back; can Kelly Gruber be far behind?"
Well, Tom Henke can’t possibly be worse than Joe Borowski.
Not to be confused with “Jocko’s Robbers,” headed up by Maurice Clarett.
Now the Twins are really screwed. Somebody turn on the Tom Kelly light, he is the only one that can save the Twins from what I’m sure will be a World Series champion Blue Jays team.
INVISABUL WEDGIE
Maybe one of the current players needs to wear a batting helmet all game, a la John Olerud. That oughtta turn things around. And bring back Candy Maldonado! That name just rolls off the tongue every-so-sweetly (pun intended).
Thing I remember the most about the old Blue Jays is that it always seemed like the Twins had no chance against Tom Henke and Duane Ward. Remember Game 3 of the 1991 ALCS, after the Twins and Jays split the first two games at the Metrodome? Mike Pagliarulo hit a home run in the top of the 10th inning against none other than Mike Timlin … who now is 95 years old and still pitching for the Red Sox.
Remember Game 3 of the 1991 ALCS, after the Twins and Jays split the first two games at the Metrodome? Mike Pagliarulo hit a home run in the top of the 10th inning against none other than Mike Timlin … who now is 95 years old and still pitching for the Red Sox.
Remember it like it was yesterday. Which is weird, since I was incredibly drunk at the time (GO HUSKIES! WOOO!).
I still remember the KQ bit where Kelly was mocking Cito, i wonder if i have a tape player i can play it thru
