Friday (movie quotes) edition: Wha’ Happened?
Posted on June 20th, 2008 – 8:47 AMBy Michael Rand
The Twins, at least temporarily, are back from the dead after getting to play some pretty awful teams in the past week. Similarly, Mike Myers and Adam Sandler have returned from a seemingly eternal slumber to make a couple of movies that also look pretty awful: You Don’t Mess with the Zohan and The Love Guru (special DVD feature idea for the latter: You can watch with all of Alba’s lines muted). In honor of both returns, each of today’s quotes will come from previous Myers or Sandler vehicles.
1. I have to get more pudding for this trip to Hawaii. As I just said that out loud I realize it sounded a little strange but it’s not.
2. That little boy’s gotta think ‘You got a pet. You got a responsibility.’ If your dog is lost you don’t look for an hour then call it quits. You get your [redacted] out there and you find that [redacted] dog.
3. It’s a Rockwellian Christmas up here. Skating. Barbecues. Snow. We’re here with defenseman Matt Marden, and… cut!
4. Jimi Hendrix deceased, drugs. Janis Joplin deceased, alcohol. Mama Cass deceased, ham sandwich.
5. The Lone Rangers? That’s original. How can you pluralize “The Lone Ranger”?
6. This paper contains facts. And this paper has the eighth highest circulation in the whole wide world. Right? Plenty of facts. “Pregnant man gives birth.” That’s a fact.
7. Am I supposed to be a man, am I supposed to say, it’s OK, I don’t mind. I don’t mind. Well I mind! I mind big time? And you know what the worst part is? I NEVER LEARNED TO READ.
8. You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up. Now, you will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep. Check out the name tag. You’re in my world now, grandma.
9. Gee, you know that information … really would’ve been more useful to me YESTERDAY.
10. We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I’m making waffles!
Fasola-link! Phone car. Can we get a live report on this, Sassbottom?
15 Responses to "Friday (movie quotes) edition: Wha’ Happened?"
The Twins, at least temporarily, are back from the dead after getting to play some pretty awful teams in the past week.
Meanwhile, the funeral has started here in my palatial office suite here at a huge employer south of the river: The Cleveland Indians have been pronounced dead.
Sorrow drowning will commence this evening at the lake cabin in rural Wisconsin. Send memorials in preferred sixpack form care of RandBall Central.
2. Billy Madison
5. Airheads
8. Happy Gilmore
1. Punch-Drunk Love
That’s a polarizing movie, right there.
10. One of the Shrek movies, I think the first one.
Is #3 Mystery Alaska?
#10;
Butt Sluts III?
2 billy madison
3 mystery alaska
4 austin powers 1
5 airheads
7 waynes world?
8 happy gilmore
9 big daddy?
10 mr deeds?
9. Wedding Singer
The real question is which movie is worse, “The Love Guru” or “Don’t Mess with the Zohan”? I can’t believe either one of these movies even got green lighted, they look horrible.
What kind of secrets does Vern Troyer know about Mike Myers? How can that guy continually get roles in his movies? Don’t the “you are smaller than the average human” jokes get old after the first 50 or so?
6. So I Married an Ax Murderer.
Mike Myers must be stopped. Given the current arc of his movies, the next one will actually end Western Civilization as we know it.
I think Ben Stiller will be the next to join these 2. His old tricks are starting to wear me out.
Rocket
You better get time to add another chapter to your book. It looks like SI is giving the Vikings the ultimate jinx by picking them to win the Super Bowl in the middle of June.
Looks like the Bears will be winning the division again!
Sorry here’s the link:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/writers/dr_z/06/20/vikings/index.html?eref=T1
10. Shrek
