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Shaquille O’Neal is a bad man and a bad rapper

Posted on June 24th, 2008 – 10:57 AM
By Michael Rand

You might have seen this already, but Shaq — whose basketball skills have been compared to the best centers in the game but whose rapping skills have been compared to oft-injured former Timberwolves point guards — went off on Kobe during an impromptu freestyle session recently. If fences were previously mended between these two former teammates, they are busted open now. Please do enjoy:

18 Responses to "Shaquille O’Neal is a bad man and a bad rapper"

Joker says:

June 24th, 2008 at 11:05 am

Shaq’s next video game as a follow up to Shaq Fu will be Rapper Hero featuring all the could’ve been stars of the rap and hiphop industry such as Eddie Murphy, T-Hud, Vanilla Ice, and Carmen Electra.

Nathan says:

June 24th, 2008 at 11:05 am

I love Shaq.

Dave MN says:

June 24th, 2008 at 11:05 am

Poor rapping or not, it was entertaining as hell…

I was wondering the whole time what he’d say next

StraightCashHomey says:

June 24th, 2008 at 11:07 am

It’s one thing to make fun of a man’s game, but to blame your divorce on him… It’s just so personal and awesome I can’t contain myself.

Dave MN says:

June 24th, 2008 at 11:11 am

SCH: The vasectomy line was totally out of nowhere…

fasolamatt says:

June 24th, 2008 at 11:13 am

In a RandBall mock draft of the most entertaining sports stars of our time, Mr. O’Neal would be an excellent #1 pick. Definitely ahead of Ocho Cinco.

Stu says:

June 24th, 2008 at 11:13 am

Tell me how my what now?

Jon says:

June 24th, 2008 at 11:14 am

Very off-topic: the Minnesota Thunder are taking on English Championship side Burnley on July 15 in a match at the National Sports Center. A few RandBall regulars are planning to be there. If you, too, are interested, let us know - we’re planning to get tickets later today or tomorrow.

Rand, this includes you - we know you’re kind of a soccer kisser-upper.

Tuna Can says:

June 24th, 2008 at 11:14 am

This story defines the soft underbelly of sports…

Dave MN says:

June 24th, 2008 at 11:16 am

I think it hurts your credibility as a rapper when you say or spell “big” 10 times in the first minute of your freestyle

jama says:

June 24th, 2008 at 11:16 am

If Kobe has infact tasted Shaq’s [redacted], how was it prepared? Did he have it on a tossed salad? Did he eat it out of a cup handed to him by 2 girls?

Michael Rand says:

June 24th, 2008 at 11:20 am

Jon — I very well might be interested in that. I’ll give you a shout.

Clarence Swamptown says:

June 24th, 2008 at 11:20 am

That is the worst cover of a Queen song I have ever heard.

Dave MN says:

June 24th, 2008 at 11:22 am

Clarence:

It was the end of karaoke night as we knew it…

StraightCashHomey says:

June 24th, 2008 at 11:34 am

I believe it was “tell me how my bass race,” Stu. Shaq’s a big fisherman in the offseason. Literally.

Brandon says:

June 24th, 2008 at 11:43 am

Is Shaq actually bragging that he allowed Kobe to [race] his [bass]? Seems like a strange way to zing another fellow.

Clarence Swamptown says:

June 24th, 2008 at 12:00 pm

I remember when Jari Kurri did this same exact rap about Wayne Gretzky after the L.A. Kings lost in the Stanley Cup finals in 1993.

UofM2010 says:

June 24th, 2008 at 12:10 pm

Well, I guess if Shaq really “gave a [redacted] a mil” to get a [redacted}job, he might as well let Kobe have a reach-around from that vantage point too. They were “teammates” for a pretty long time.