As a few of you have heard by now, A-Rod has been linked to Madonna in a wink-wink, more-than-friends kind of way. That sent us reeling in a number of directions — one of which was to the rather lengthy “relationships” portion of Madonna’s Wikipedia page, which led to the horror of remembering that she has been with both Dennis Rodman and Vanilla Ice. But this just doesn’t add up in many regards. A-Rod is an image-control man, a 32-year-old who has made his taste in alleged dalliances clear. Madonna is not only an eccentric pop star who trends toward bizarre and/or talented guys, but she is going to be 50 in August. Repeat: 50. She still looks terrific, mind you, but the odometers on those respective cars are a might disparate, wethinks. Then again, in at least one regard, this makes perfect sense: A-Rod has always been the master of hitting the three-run homer with his team already up 8-1. Perhaps now he’s messing around with Madonna — again, allegedly is the operative word — a decade after that was the cool thing to do.

Overall, though: if this is true, it’s the strangest thing since, oh, Clemens and McCready? But if you can be tasteful about it, we’d love to hear your imagined couplings involving sports stars that would be even stranger.

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