The overriding message to any writer: write what you know. Clarence Swamptown follows that lesson plan very well in spending his 300 or so words as the Commenter Of the Week writing about outstate watering holes. Please do enjoy:

Receiving the COW was a nice beginning to long weekend. I even got a vote from Paul Peter Paulos. I don’t know much about “P3,” only the legend. I started routinely visiting RandBall around the same time Paul’s employer put him on 5-month bereavement leave after Favre’s retirement. KFC strives to be an understanding workplace, as everyone grieves in their own way. But you cannot pump fake and shovel-pass the coleslaw to the carry out customers. Welcome back Paul.

I can’t complain about the Twins. The other teams I follow are on break. So I’ll try to write about what I like: Beer and food. Local media outlets do a good job rating the bars within the 494/694 loop. Outstate bars can get overlooked, so here are 3 of my favorite regional establishments:

1. Lauerman’s #2 (Fargo, ND). Just south of NDSU, sandwiched between the railroad tracks and an industrial park. In the ’90’s you could throw down $20 and get a great bowl of chili with cheese and onions, onion rings, 2 pitchers of beer, a few games of pool, and leave a tip. The worst smells in Fargo: 1. My roommate after a night at Lauerman’s 2. West Fargo Slaughterhouse 3. Crystal Sugar plant.

2. King’s (Miesville, MN). 45 minutes south of St. Paul and across the street from the Miesville Mudhens amateur baseball park. Great burgers. Go to a game, heckle the players, then go the bar after the game and heckle them some more*.

3. Tom’s Bar (Siren, WI). I have no idea if Tom’s has food. You don’t go to Tom’s to eat, you go to get drunk. It’s dark. It’s got a jukebox filled with classic country that has been scientifically proven to help your bloodstream absorb alcohol. Its u-shaped bar makes it fun to decide if the guy with the Packers hat and a lazy eye is leering at you, or the picture of Don Majkowski on the other wall.

Honorable Mention: Rusty Nail (Thief River Falls, MN), The Zoo (Drayton, ND), Draw Bar (Dawson, MN), Wanderoos Bar (Wanderoos, WI), AmVets (Fargo, ND).

The floor is open to your nominations.

*Bad idea.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 7th, 2008 at 9:15 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.