Guest post Fasolamatt: MN sports time capsule
Posted on July 8th, 2008 – 12:00 PMBy Michael Rand
Fasolamatt, whose motto is to live every week like it’s Shark Week, brings you another topic for debate right about now:
Those of you who get Radar magazine (the fasolamatt household is not nearly hip enough, we read The Economist) have seen the “100 things that we are NOT putting in the time capsule.” Things like Big League Chew (this is all we used to eat) and Trump: The Game. That got me thinking: What are the things we are not putting in the Minnesota sports time capsule?
*Mike Tice’s pencil
*A CD of that Wild anthem
*Glen Mason’s Bowl Souvenirs
*Micheal Williams’ orthotic insoles
*Christian Laettner’s copy of “How to Win Friends and Influence People”
*Sidney Ponson souvenir jersey
*RandBall t-shirt
What else?
305 Responses to "Guest post Fasolamatt: MN sports time capsule"
Sam Cassell’s back brace
A Demitrius Underwood jersey w/fatigues
The Gophers Men’s Basketball 1997 Final Four banner
Troy Hudson’s rapping and basketball career.
Francisco Liriano’s elbow tendon.
Red McCombs Cowboy Hat
Correction:
Francisco Liriano’s elbow ligament
Jacque Jones’ attempt to hit a curve ball.
Tony Batista’s “Old Country Buffet Lifetime Achiever” award
“What ‘They’ Should Be Doing: An Essay on the Civil Rights Movement” by Calvin Griffith.
Randy Moss’s SUV
Torii Hunter’s dive at a Frank Thomas line drive
Dwight Smith’s belt
Joe Smith’s contract
Fred Smoot’s boating license
The Wizzinator
Marion Gaborik’s groin
Kurtis Foster’s leg
Which one of the Joe Smith contracts?
Kevin McHale’s set of “white, unathletic centers I’ve drafted” trading cards
Juan Rincon’s pitch to Ruben Sierra.
41-donut
Herschel Walker’s lost shoe.
Gary Anderson’s 38 yard FG attempt in 1998.
Ndi Ebi’s Draft day hat
Eddie Griffin’s [redacted] collection.
The Love Boat
McHale’s Sweaters
This seems quite cathatic.
Cathartic.
Socco Babacas
Drew Pearson’s push off.
Kirby Puckett’s condom from Redstone.
Rand’s 2 handed backhand in ping pong.
Oh let’s just go with all of Rand’s ping pong “skills”.
Circle me Bert sign
AKKKESS VIKINGS COMMENTERS!!!
Sid Hartman
Common Man’s Kangol hat.
LaPanta’s hair piece.
Lee “Hacksaw” Hamilton
Nick Punto’s head first slide into First Base.
@Joker:
Sid Hartman’s “next page” link that just leads to his information
Brock Lesnar
@Joker:
You have to qualify the Lesnar one. His U of M wrestling career was worthy. Everything afterward is what’s questionable.
Rick Rickert’s committment
Joel Pryzbilla’s committment
Walker Ashley’s 8 years of college eligibility
Doug Woog’s “No Foreigners Allowed” sign
Les Steckle
P3
jama: +1
Miles Tarver’s Mustache
Randy Skarda’s stick.
Gophers vs. Michigan Football games in the dome.
Troy “Ricochet” Williamson - 7th pick overall
Gary Anderson’s Kicking Shoe
4 Superbowls
Carl Pohlad’s purse
Troy Williamson’s eye doctor
The rose in Joe Salem’s teeth
denny green’s zubaz’s
The Metrodome
Terrell Brandon’s ankle
brett boone’s comeback
The piece of Rose Bowl turf in Tim Brewster’s office
Clint Brewster’s Gopher career
Sidney Ponson’s hair products
Gardy’s dented door
The Concourses at the Metrodome
Ponson’s view on rehab.(Wine’s okay with dinner)
The giant milk jug in right field that used to flash feebly after a home run
Clem Haskin’s recruiting ability without giving grades.
You mean I can get a RandBall T-shirt? I would be the one first one on my block to have one of those.
Herschel Walker’s personalities
Ziggy wilf’s greed
I kind of miss the giant milk carton.
Kirby’s glaucoma
Skol: I totally miss the giant milk carton. I loved yelling, “Oh look! The Twins are pouring it on!“
the hot dogs thrown at chuck knoblauch
Dennis Green’s knee.
Flip Saunder’s first round playoff record.
KGs Ring
any quote from Joe Mauer
the hot dogs batteries and golf balls wrapped in hot dog foil thrown at chuck knoblauch
Fixed
Randy Moss’ water bottle
A Harvey McKay envelope
Rich Beem’s dance
Willie Norwood’s glove
Armen Terzian’s x-ray
Maxim Sushinsky’s checkbook
Denny Hocking’s bat
Piranhas
kevin mchale
Cheryl Littlejohn
Anne Hutchinson’s champagne and beer soaked t-shirt (not because it doesn’t belong in the time capsule, but because Joker “paid good money for it, and isn’t in the business of charity”)
mike modano - he stole my girlfriend some time ago
Joe Mauer’s last high school football game…ha!
sam jacobson pro career with the wolves
T-wolves lottery ping pong balls.
u of m cheating records
courtney james’ phonebook
jerry burns’ mouth
Dave Hollins, Brother!
clem haskins coaching record at the u of m
Mitch Lee’s wineglass shaped head shaving
u of m exams for football/basketball players
tony says:
July 8th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
mike modano - he stole my girlfriend some time ago
That sucks
Kirby used a condom at Redstone? Man i dont want to go there anymore… yuck i knew that clam chowder tasted funny
To be honest though you cant blame her for banging the Mike, huh, am i right?
Jim Wackers record
This blog
The lines in the men’s bathroom at the Metrodome during halftime.
His record yes, but not his name
“Good Sports”
“RandBites”
Although the multiple 60 yard field goals on this week’s “Good Sports” were pretty sweet
I also enjoyed how he sounded just like the guy who taught Peter Griffin sarcasm
Dougie R
For the record, three additional items that somehow got edited out by The Proprietor:
9. Anything remotely having anything to do with Mike Morris
8. Gary Anderson’s kicking tee
7. Mike Lamb’s batting gloves
Helo Peter… Clevland vocie
u of m hockey players going pro
Joe Maurer’s only high school strikeout (struck out looking at that…handed to him in the Lion’s Allstar by a pitcher from Jordan)
tommy kramer
Ron Davis saves
Bryant McKinnie’s head pounding pole.
Dan Gladden’s mullet
The Vikings secondary from 1999-2005
Joe Mays’ contract
Taking a knee
Denny’s buddy Richard Solomon
Norm Green (yes, he still sucks, despite last year’s revisionist fluff piece)
Bert’s on air F-Bomb
The Randy Ratio
Forget Tommy Kramer all you need is his Liver.
a #98 Brian Lawton jersey
one of dwanye casey’s suits
Kris Humphries’ single assist
Donald Igwebuike’s Nose Candy
a david ortiz jersey
Telly Hughes’ teleprompter
The 10,000 footballs Troy Williamson ‘caught’ at Nike camp.
Glen Taylers checkbook
Jacque Jones’ attempt to hit a curve ball.
No Twin David Ortiz’s attempt to hit a curve ball. Cerrano-like
the vikings dislipinary handbook
Telly Hughes and his body of work
Sprewells hungry family
Rondell White’s 20 HR’s & 90+ RBI’s.
Wow, that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand.
This thread, It’s time for a new one. Thanks for going on vacation Rand!
[Redacted]
Joe Mays’ 4 year contract extension.
Bryant McKinnie’s face after burrying it in that hookers [redacted].
(best line ever from my dad: “if you knew she was a hooker, why would you eat it?”)
Every article about Boogy’s fight camp.
Rand drafting 2 WR’s with his first 2 picks in last years Fantasy draft
Latrell Sprewell’s yacht
what ones did u like the best? i liked smoots boating licence one
The milk carton that had Les Straker’s face on it after he went missing.
Daunte Culpepper’s ability to hold on to the football.
Jason Tyner’s homerun ball.
PA & Dubay.
Koren Robinson’s love of the juice
The Whizzonator
Robert Tate
RandBall posts that make the front page.
Rick Aguilara’s perm
Dougie R’s deadline trades.
Tommy Herr
Toonces
I didn’t see this anywhere on the front page. By responses I am assuming it was there.
How about Spehar’s career after the Gophers
Mike Redmond’s nakedness
jmarksor
How about Spehar’s career WITH the Gophers
Any of Patrick Reusse’s columns, especially related to hockey.
Jama - It made the rotating blog sidebar thingie. I checked when I saw that it wasn’t just the regular 20 or so people commenting.
rumors of Favre in a Vikings Jersey. It does suck about Mike.
Sidney Ponson’s sports bra
Dan Monson’s “Top 10 Reasons Why I Can’t Coach in Minnesota”
Toonces-
That rotating blog sidebar thing is then not invited to the party.
Did I somehow get detoured into AV?
cory sauter scalping tickets.
Mike Tice scalping tickets.
The Dome, especially as a baseball park
Ron Davis’s glasses
JR Rider’s bong
Boof Bonser’s bullpen beer pong table
Howard Cosell’s Toupee
1. Les Steckel’s “Boot Camp”
2. Lou Holtz’ tenure at U of M
3. Tony Basil’s “Mickey” every time Mickey Hatcher made a routine catch.
4. Dave Engle “throwing” the ball back to the pitcher.
Kari Takko.
5. Spectrum PPV sports in early 80’s.
Jesse “The Body” Ventura’s feather boa
1. Les Steckel’s “Boot Camp”
2. Lou Holtz’ tenure at U of M
3. Tony Basil’s “Mickey” every time Mickey Hatcher made a routine catch.
4. Dave Engle “throwing” the ball back to the pitcher.
5. Kari Takko.
6. Spectrum PPV sports in early 80’s.
Les Steckel’s wife, Tess
Dino Ciccarelli’s bathrobe.
the twin cities arena league team…the walleye’s or whatever they were called, qb’d by Ricky Foggee…are you kidding me.
Denny Green’s how to win the NFC Championship
Gophers Hockey upset in the NCAA’s a couple years ago
Warren Moon’s apology video for his wife beating
Vikings Draft Snafu when the pick came in late
whizzinator
Bret Boone’s crying-like-a-13-year-old-girl tears
All the great in-state hockey players the Gophers lost to out-of-state colleges during Woog’s tenure
Gophers Heismann Hopefuls, Darrell Thompson and Chris Darkins
The police photo of Woog’s wife after he beat her in 1997
Darrin Nelson’s drop in the 86 NFC championship game against the Skins
sean salisbury starting a playoff game
Boof Bonser’s stamina
wolves start 0-7 in first round playoff series
wolves draft Pooh Richardson as first draft pick.
anybody remember the poster he did after he got drafted where he’s holding up the two basketballs with the P and the H on the other sides…what a douche
The torched cars after both Gopher Hockey championships
yep, sid hartman.
Toonces, jama: it was on the front of the sports page as opposed to the front page.
Plenty of bitterness going around here.
Koren Robinson’s DUI/Speeding ticket
My vote goes to Tommy Herr
vikes lose to carolina on opening day…the only win carolina had all year
the vikes 6 of 7 loses to teams that only won 4 games for the entire year in 03′ that is also the year where the vikes got beat by arizona on the final play of the season to get bumped from the playoffs.
Fasolamatt: almost 200 comments. Nicely done, sir.
the north stars getting soundly beaten by the Penguins in the ‘01 Stanley Cup finals
Erasmus James’ career
Plenty of bitterness going around here.
Leave it to a guy who grew up a Cleveland sports fan to tap this vein.
Norm Green’s secretary
Sean Salisbury’s Christmas Tree Hair Cut
1. The high road
2. Victory Sports
3. Jan Ganglehoff
4. Candlestick park
5. Ron Gant out at first
6. Jon Wooden (gopher basketball coach)
7. Hershel Walker’s bobsled
mark madsen in a wolves uniform
Stu -
I think the most impressive statistic is that it took until 2:32 p.m. to have a Tommy Herr sighting. I would have placed a bet on earlier than that.
Childress Kick [Redacted] Offense
Jan Ganglehoff
Keving McHale’s Sweaters
Denny Green’s crackpipe
Wally Szcerbiak’s defense
Marty Cordova’s tanning bed
Ron Coomer’s All-Star game jersey
Verne Gagne’s corpse
Tarvaris Jackson
Glen Mason’s Bowl game debacles against Texas Tech and NC State…and the 4th quarter melt down at the dome against Michigan
Pat Reusse’s seratonin
Daunte, Daunte and probably Daunte
Spergeon Wynn
Wassau Serwanga
Culpepper’s stupid “Get your roll on” TD celebration
Juan Rincon’s Steroid Needle
The Glen Mason deer-in-headlights look on the sidelines
the vikes attempt to copy the homer hanky w/ the touchdown towel…only problem…the vikes didn’t score many
former gopher greats tony dungy and flip saunders return to the U to coach their respective sports…oh wait…just kidding
Dennis Rodman kicking our sideline camera man in the crotch
fasolamatt, Stu, jama, Toonces, Dave, Brandon:
Do you see what happens when you open the doors? You get the wizzinator and Sid Hartman 3 times. Amateures… It’s like having 60 P3s telling us about how much Chicago sucks (true), and McHale is a good GM (false).
gophers football players supposedly have their way w/ a girl and record the incident with a camera phone…brilliant one boys
The thought of 60 P3’s makes my head hurt and my liver quiver.
All the Lombardi trophies we gave to the Cowboys. Thanks Hershel.
Brewster telling the twin cities media that he plans on closing the borders on the states best football recruits…how’s that one working out??
Carl Pohlad.
The Quivering Livers! Jama, you’ve just named your next fantasy football team.
Brandon Roy
Martin Skoula.
sweet mercy.
Randy Shaver’s sparkling personality.
Jeff George
Tom Ryther
- Sid’s gilded chair at Murray’s
- Any image of Dark Star
- A Mike Max question
- Russell Shimooka
The headphones worn by the Commonman’s brother and sister.
Joker, I was not responsible for any opening of any door…
I did appreciate someone’s mentioning Culpepper’s “Get Your Roll On” TD celebration. That celebration can go straight to hell.
I think “allison” has become officially the 5th or 6th woman to ever comment on this blog
the “traingle of authority”
Holy Cross hockey
“I did appreciate someone’s mentioning Culpepper’s “Get Your Roll On” TD celebration. That celebration can go straight to hell.”
Did Culpepper copy the Mash Potato or the Macarena on that?
New name for RandBall when it hits front page: Pandora’s Blog
Michael Cuddyer’s Third Base Glove
how about riseboroughs offer sheets to brian rolston and marian hossa?
Joker:
I’ll one-up you
“Randora’s Blog”
Okposo’s offer sheet from the Islanders
The Twins’ 1996 starting rotation
OJ Mayo’s draft-day jersey
Brandon Roy’s draft-day jersey
anything T’wolve related! The worst franchise ever!
A Scott Stahoviak jersey.
the girlfriend Mike Modano stole
If it’s possible to be a blog snob, I have become one. Nice work, do re mi boy!
Doug Meintkeiwcz
Rich Becker
The yellow flag NOT thrown on Drew Pearson on The Hail Mary.
Or Dino Ciccarelli’s mailbox.
The T-Wolves letting Billups and Bobby Jackson walk…. not to mention all of the draft “OOPS”.
This is exhausting.
Murray Warmath’s strategy of punting on third down.
Lance Rentzel’s private parts, which, as it turned out, were not all that private.
Manny’s base hit in last nights Twins’ game
Randy-Ratio
Troy Williamson’s first game ball with the Vikes (oh wait…)
Herr for Tom Brunansky
Eddie Griffen, his Escalade, a six pack, and porn.
Norm Green’s waive
The bottle that hit the ref in the head on Drew Pearson’s push off
-proposed outdoor baseball game in the Mall of America parking lot
-Victory Sports Network
-Dino’s missing drawers
-Keith Millard’s training camp driving on a Hardee’s median
-Packer’s TD reception on Monday night football after about 5 tips while lying on his back
-Lenny Faedo & Houston Jimanez’s bat
-North Stars coach eye patch from the ‘81 playoff run
-Willi Plett’s helmet, oh wait, nevermind
-Every #1 DL pick the Vikings have had since 1990
-Every T-wolves center - EVER
-Norm Green
-Carl “you can have my wallet when you pull it from my cold dead fingers” Pohlad aka Montgomery Burns
-the non-domed new stadium
-Red McCombs “Purple Pride”
Clem Haskin’s stool
Minnesota Muskie’s Jersey
Map of Pasadena, don’t know as I will ever need one
1. The shoe used by JR Rider to kick the Mall of America employee
2. The orange jump suits worn to court by the Gophers B-ballers arrested in Madison
3. Candles from Terry Felton’s “Congrats on Your First Victory” cake
4. Joe Niekro’s nail file
5. Stojko Vrankovic’s cigarettes
Kris Humphries
Keith Millard’s “Go ahead and shoot“ because “My arms are more powerful than your guns.” quote.
A 2007 Nick Punto Baseball Bat
Any members of the Vikings Secondary from 1999-Present not named Winfield or Sharper.
Giving LeTroy Hawkins a ONE run lead into the 9th.
Darryl Strawberry’s two months with the Saints (and bag of coke)
Troy “whoopsie daisy” Williamson’s eye exam
Ryan Saunder’s career with the Gopher Men’s basketball program
This thread.
1. The end of Steve Carlton’s career.
2. Tom Nieto
3. David McCarty
4. Willie Banks
5. Pat Mahomes
6. Derek Parks
7. Dan Serafini
8. Ryan Mills
9. Todd Ritchie
10. Kevin Maas as a Twin
11. Adam Johnson, (man I have a lot of twins first round draft pick pitchers on this).
12. LaTroy Hawkins as a starter and a closer
13. Tom Prince (he of the pornstar musthachioed ilk.)
correction “mustachioed”
Chuck Knoblauch’s rookie of the year baseball card
The Twins ‘91 music video
Denny Green’s “Knee”!
Dan Monson’s buyout
Ron Coomer’s “commentary” on FSN
Mighty Ducks 3
Me thinks the Foggie-led arena league team of which you speak would be . . .The Fighting Pike. Add them with the Minnesota Moose (minor league hockey) and the Arctic Blast (roller hockey).
Tim Brewster wins
Delmon Young along with his sub .730 OPS
Herb Brooks’s minivan
Latrell Spreewell’s “Food Drive” for his family
The hits just keep on coming…
Randy Moss’s traffic violation downtown
The Berenguer Boogie
Why is Rand kicking in his golf shoes?
Wait, what?
Arctic Blast Ticket
The Joe Smith “Contract” Napkin
Buster Rhymes
DJ Dozier
The Draft Board that lists Darrin Nelson above Marcus Allen
Mike Lynn’s Dome Suite package and practice whistle
Tom Lawless Home Run Bat
Eddie Guardado and his 3 career 1-2-3 9th inning saves
Bravo to Fasolamatt for jumping the shark!
Wally Backman (Tommy Herr’s soulmate)
Rich Becker (I still have nightmares about his called third strikes)
