If at first you don’t succeed … and then you still can’t … et cetera … then what? You try again because you’re Michelle Wie. We’ve been alternately trying to ignore her antics (being DQd last weekend because she failed to sign her scorecard), trying to ignore the latest story (she’s playing with the men … again), trying to replay in our minds just how she made a 9 on 9 in the Open at Interlachen (it was a meltdown only Mickelson could love) and trying to figure out if the Wii Fit is really just a misspelling related to The Pouty One’s on-course demeanor. But like Roger Clemens, Brett Favre and a handful of other thorns in the sides of sports news hounds, Wie just won’t go away or be ignored. So she leaves us no choice as to wonder what’s next for an 18-year-old.

*There’s a 17 percent chance it will have something to do with bees.

*There’s a 35 percent chance one of the male golfers at the Reno-Tahoe Open will say something about her that oscillates between insensitive and true.

*There’s a 0.4 percent chance that she’ll ditch her family and choose Greg Norman/Chris Evert as surrogate parents. By the way: wow.

*There’s a 0.00001 percent chance she’ll be romantically linked to Alex Rodriguez.

*There’s a 54 percent chance she’ll describe one of her two upcoming rounds as “unlucky.”

*There’s a 32.7 percent chance we might one day say, “Hey, Todd Marinovich’s career wasn’t all that bad.”

*There’s a 99 percent chance nobody cares anymore.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008 at 11:48 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.