The friscalating dusklight: Best B-list (or lower) sightings
Posted on July 23rd, 2008 – 4:29 PMBy Michael Rand
The year was 2004. We were in the midst of the greatest and strangest Great Baseball Road Trip ever. It would take us through the desert to randomly meet John Kerry in the 121 degree heat. It would take us to San Diego, where we would hear this term for the first time. It would take us to Vegas. And it would take us to Los Angeles, where at a bar on Sunset Strip, we would watch Andy Dick put on the greatest 10-minute show of erratic behavior we have ever witnessed. (This would happen about a week later). So to close out the day, we ask: what is your greatest all-time B-list (or lower) celebrity experience?
(First one to say “The Redactular” gets a free ham sandwich).
33 Responses to "The friscalating dusklight: Best B-list (or lower) sightings"
Wayne Brady at a sports bar in the Las Vegas airport.
…or Victor Lebanon at the Legends Redactular. Can’t pick a favorite.
My first experience was when I was working in a hotel in Ames, IA, I was looking at the ground while getting on the elevator, I almost ran into a guy in a black leather jacket. I looked up in time to see his face but it didn’t register whoe he was until the doors closed. I almost bumped shoulders with Lewis Black.
The next incident was when my friend and I were at a bar in Vegas we ran into the quarterback from the University of Miami Brock Berlin. He introduced himself by saying, “Do you know who I am, I’m Brock Berlin the quarterback for the University of Miami.” My response was, “Alright” Then he walked away appearently I was not impressed enough.
How about a couple D-list celebs that consider themselves A-listers? I’ve seen and talked to both Reusse and Sid at Gopher sporting events to be an unnamed “student fan” in their columns.
For real though? Loved seeing Charles Barkley and Ahmad Rashad at Rush Creek in MG. Chuck’s golf swing is the worst - and greatest - thing I have ever seen.
Wayne Fontes at a BBQ joint in Tampa in 2004.
Then of course there was the tiem I wa at a bar in Hollywood, and there was a guy sitting behind us that looked a lot like Joaquin Phoenix. Every guy I was with made a special trip to the bathroom just to see if it was him. None of us could be certain, until he walked out side for a smoke and came back in with 2 beautiful women. He sat back down at his table while the women stood next to him until he pulled one down to sit next to him. At this point we were sure it was him. Of course after we left the bar that night we saw a homeless man peeing into the street, literally.
And two weeks ago my wife and I went out to breakfast with a friend and Sinbad was sitting across the room. Let’s just say he is a very outgoing person and could be heard from anywhere in the restuarant.
I met Mike Johanns, at that time the U.S. Secretary of Agricuture, in my cubicle.
As if I needed another example of why my life is boring. Wayne Brady, Wayne Fontes, et el totally kick Mike Johanns’ ass.
I once saw Fuad Reveiz at the Mall of America. He was at the amusement park, presumably with his kids, though I guess he could have been there just to surround himself with the innocence of youth and funnel cakes.
I’m Wayne Brady, beotch!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=auNwBl14Vqc
Pulled into a gas station on Sunset and filling their tanks just a few pumps apart were Kato Kaelin and Peter Bonerz (Jerry the dentist from “The Bob Newhart Show”).
Almost beats the time Ron Jeremy asked our table if we wanted to go watch movies at his place in the Valley. Also saw The Hedgehog at MSP a couple years ago looking for his gate. He was wearing Zubaz.
Pauly Shore at the Rainbow in LA
When Joe Schmit was a sports guy on channel 5 he used to do a golf segment called “Beat the Pro”. A local sports celebrity would tee off at a local par-3 hole. I think the premise was to see if Joe Schmit could then “Beat the Pro” by hitting his tee shot closer to the pin. The secret was that Joe let the Pro take as many shots as he or she wanted.
I worked at a golf course in high school. Brian Bonin was the “pro” one week, and it took him about 4 tee shots to hit the green with a usable shot.
Quadry Ismail was the “pro” another week. It took him about 4 buckets to finally hit the green. I was working with an old crusty guy, and we were driving by the hole when the course Pro flagged us down. He asked us to pick up the balls that Quadry has scattered throughout the area. The old crusty guy said, “I’m not picking up that {redacted’s} balls. Things havn’t come that far in the last 30 years.” Nothing like working with a racist, grumpy old drunk for $6/hour.
Got on the elevator with Lou Nanne in an LA hotel. Just him and me.
Me: “Uh, are you from Minnesota?”
Him: “Yes?”
Me: “Uh, are you Lou Nanne?”
Him: “Yes.”
Me: “Wanna make out?”
Okay, maybe the last line didn’t happen, but the rest did. He was very nice and didn’t make me feel like more of an idiot than I’d already made out of myself. Which I guess isn’t that hard.
I too saw Kato Kaelin, but I was in Vegas. I also saw Randall Cunningham the same night, along with Don King and a very A-list Michael Jordan. It was a good night.
Mike M - that’s exactly where we were when Ron Jeremy asked us to be a focus group at his place. We refused of course. All of us except one guy. He couldn’t speak for three days after that.
I don’t know where I’ve met the most Z-listers in L.A. - The Rainbow or The Formosa.
In high school I worked at a movie theater in Sioux Falls, SD. One day I sold a small popcorn to Pat O’Brien (he’s from Sioux Falls). This became way funnier to me after this happened:
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/227154
NSFW language
Are there enough letters in the alpahbet for Paul Allen to be considered a celebrity?
I saw Chris Wilcox(He played for the team formerly known as the Sonics last year) buying about $1000 worth of crab at Pike’s Market out in Seattle last week. 6′10 235 looks a lot bigger in person.
I met Mike Johanns, at that time the U.S. Secretary of Agricuture, in my cubicle.
When you consider that Clarence’s cubicle is just three walls, a pile of ballgags, and a Vietnamese spin-[redacted] chair, this becomes much more interesting.
June / 2007
Michael Knight, outside the ESPNZone in Vegas, approximately one month after this had happened:
Warrick Dunn at the Atlanta airport a couple months ago. I can’t believe that guy is an NFL running back, because he is small.
When I was about 7 or 8, I saw former Hollywood Squares host John Davidson in the middle of the “Honey I Shrunk the Kids” playset thing at MGM Studios in Disney World. His hair is etched into my brain.
Matt Birk at Target Greatland in Woodbury a few years ago. I remember making eye contact, and him immediately giving me a look that said, “I’m here with my goddamnned insane pregnant wife and I’m pissed off about it so if you approach me, I’m taking out all my anger on you.” I didn’t approach him.
Snoop Dog at the Vegas airport. We were arriving, he was leaving (with two rather large fellows, which is why I didn’t yell anything to him). He might be higher than B list, though? In more ways than one?
Also, Pat Williams at my local Target (big guy, but didn’t seem as big as I would have expected).
Mike Morris at my local Best Buy (bigger than I would have expected)
Gale Sayers at a packaging machinery expo in Chicago (good times)
“(First one to say “The Redactular” gets a free ham sandwich).”
Thankfully, I’m Jewish.
Lunch with Bill and Hillary? Nope, they’re still A-List (for now). How about talking NFL with Al Gore? He’s probably A-List, too. I’ll have to settle for sitting next to Matthew Saad Mohammed on an airplane on a flight to New York the day after he lost a fight. Quiet dude.
If you want to work your way down to the C-List, I’ve been called “cherubic” by Jim Walsh.
I was also very impressed with meeting Victor Lebanon at the Legends Redactular.
fasolamatt wins this week’s NDCOW, for “name-dropping commenter of the week.”
Jon, my friend Brandon Paulson would probably agree.
To be fair, all of the A-List events were between 15 and 25 years ago. But I’ll accept Jon’s accolades nonetheless.
Oh yeah, Mrs. Toonces51 (no nickname yet) sat behind Norm Coleman on a plane ride to Vegas a couple months back (they were both in first class–I was back in coach). And a couple weeks ago, she was on a plane to DC with one Tim Pawlenty (he was in coach, she wasn’t). While out there, she met Norm Coleman again (he didn’t remember her).
Clyde Drexler and Chris Dudley seeing Exit to Eden at Duluth movie theatre circa 1994. D-list sports celebrity = Dudley
I was bartending one time and Arlo Guthrie came into the hotel bar I was working at. My mom was there and got excited. She got his autograph on a bar napkin, I didn’t even know who the guy was. Funny thing is that Arlo Guthrie actually has groupies, but they’re all old stoner ladies who love gin and tonic. They follow him around tour. It was very strange.
