Comments on: The Friscalating Dusklight: Laughed at by a little girl

By: honey dave

honey dave — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 14:35:58 +0000

I was living about 2 miles from the U campus and biking to class. It was an 8AM class, and it was the winter. Anyway, I see some kids down the block goofing around on both sides of the streets, presumably waiting for the bus.

All of a sudden the kid on the sidewalk to my right does a barrel roll over the snowbank and starts running across the street. I have to slam on the brakes, and wipe out and slide maybe 50 feet on the hard-packed snow/ice mix on the street.

The kid: “Gee mister, you scared me.” Pause. “I didn’t know they made bikes that rode in the winter.”

I managed to yell out “You gotta watch where you’re going kid!” or something. It took all of my feeble strength to resist screaming profanities at the top of my lungs.

By: Deacon

Deacon — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 13:15:17 +0000

+1 Clarence. Well played.

By: Jon

Jon — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 12:59:50 +0000

But this weekend while I was visiting Las Vegas a drunk gal without a shirt on came up to me and yelled “Go Gophers. Woohooo!”

Swamptown in Vegas: A Play in One Act

(scene rises in Vegas)

DRUNK GAL: Go Gophers. Woohooo!
CLARENCE: Mom, please don’t! Everybody’s staring.

(The End)

By: danonymous

danonymous — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 02:25:13 +0000

A few years ago I was living in Queens and working at PS 225Q but making regular mid-week trips into the city to get free drinks from a bartender friend.

Shortly after class began one rough morning I was helping a little girl with her math and she blurted out “Ewww, you smell like my dad” and the rest of the girls at her table laughed.

Knowing this meant her dad probably smelled like whiskey, cigarettes, Old Spice and shame I sneaked away to the bad kid table to talk about ninja weapons and how gross girls are.

By: Clarence Swamptown

Clarence Swamptown — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 02:22:45 +0000

I can’t think of anything funny that has been said to me while my shirt was off. But this weekend while I was visiting Las Vegas a drunk gal without a shirt on came up to me and yelled “Go Gophers. Woohooo!”

By: lattewarrior

lattewarrior — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 01:24:54 +0000

2. That’s a lovely vest you’re wearing. Does it come in a cardigan?

By: Stu

Stu — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 00:42:29 +0000

2. “Stranger danger! Stranger danger!”

By: Stu

Stu — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 00:40:25 +0000

2. “You want me to do what with this candle?”

By: Stu

Stu — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 00:39:15 +0000

2. “I think I speak for everyone at Lifetime Swim & Fitness that we’ve never had a better ‘before’ picture for our advertisements.”

By: Stu

Stu — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 00:38:12 +0000

2. “Sir, you’ll have to leave the baptism.”