The opening ceremonies for the Olympics are tonight. Yao Ming will carry the Chinese flag; Dirk Nowitzki will carry the German flag. And that’s all well and good. But the real spirit of the Olympics, at least from what we have seen, is blind patriotism. In honor of that, today’s Movie Quotes quiz will involve only movies whose titles contain the words “red,” “white,” “blue,” or some derivation of “America.”

1. Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go [redacted] himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus.

2. We will pass through the American patrols, past their sonar nets, and lay off their largest city, and listen to their rock and roll … while we conduct missile drills.

3. I’ll tell you what. Why don’t we take all these bricks and build a shelter for the homeless, so maybe your mother will have a place to stay.

4. We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.

5. What are you LOOKING at? … Your muscles. … What about them? You’re really acting silly lately.

6. I’m trying to listen to the new Robert Palmer tape, but Evelyn, my supposed fiancée, keeps buzzing in my ear.

7. It’s like playing a tennis ball against a brick wall, which can be fun. It can be fun, but it’s not a game.

8. Lisa, whatever female-driven, emotion-based dilemma you may be dealing with right now, you have my sympathy. But for the sake of time and sanity, let’s break this down into a little male-driven fact-based logic. One simple phone call saves your dad’s life.

9. Hey you’re s’posed to be the fastest thing in the Valley man, but that can’t be your car. It must be your mama’s car! I’m sorta’ embarrassed to be this close to ya!

10. Attention. Attention, everyone. All you in the audience should go to your homes now. Your countries need you, but the world will be safe, thanks to a brilliant actor named Gary Johnston.

Fasola-link! Birth of a refrigerator.

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