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The Friscalating Dusklight: Reaching a new low?

Posted on August 20th, 2008 – 5:18 PM
By Michael Rand

The RandBall Varsity Draft is set to begin around 7 p.m. tonight. We might chime in with some updating in the comments; but those of you who will not be there can set a new low in blog commenting by following the draft online and then commenting on a fantasy draft you are not attending on a blog. Blow up the Internet. Let’s do this. First pick is ours. Is that a Jets QB we smell?

38 Responses to "The Friscalating Dusklight: Reaching a new low?"

jama says:

August 20th, 2008 at 5:27 pm

“Is that a Jets QB we smell”

Is Joe Namath drinking again? Just give him the damn kiss and get it over with?

muxhut says:

August 20th, 2008 at 5:27 pm

Sadly, Zombie Rand will be unable to make tonights draft.

I’m obviously relying more heavily on “looks like zombie” than “looks like rand” on this one, but c’mon, that picture needs to be mocked. The background doesn’t look like a mugshot, either - I think this might be his senior pic.

roughkat says:

August 20th, 2008 at 6:06 pm

We’re an hour away until the draft starts and already half of the league is here. I’m not sure if that’s impressive or really sad. I’m going with the former.

Stu says:

August 20th, 2008 at 6:08 pm

Steven Jackson ends holdout.

/useful

roughkat says:

August 20th, 2008 at 6:12 pm

Brandong just rolled in.

muxhut says:

August 20th, 2008 at 6:13 pm

I’ll be leaving soon, and I have not quite sunk low enough to live-blog the RBBNFLFLBXXX if I’m not stuck at work. However, I’ll do you the favor of pre-emptively pre-live pre-blogging the first pre-round.

6:59 Overly excited, Michael Rand begins the draft early and uses his first pick to select his pug. “Whoosa gonna get me a touchdowns? Whoosa good boy? Whoosa good boy!?”

7:05 Dave MN follows by selecting the Los Angeles Raiders Defense. He claims that he’s “Just trying to throw everyone else off” but the way he continuously massages his old Howie Long rookie card makes everyone slightly … suspicious. And uncomfortable. Still, his strategy pays off when …

7:06 SuperRookie abandons his original pick (Cher) to take the Houston Astros Defense. There’s a bit of murmuring, but as everyone is pretty sure that the Astros don’t play soc-cer, it’s accepted.

7:08 Roughkat absent - presumed to be in toilet.

7:32 With Roughkat still absent, pick defaults to Toonces5X and Victor Lebanon. Argument ensues between the choice of AP or LT. They put it to a vote. Tie.

8:02 1 hour+ in and still no football players picked, Stu bucks the trend and chooses Tiki Barber.

8:05 Roughkat returns from bathroom and attempts to take Byron Leftwich. Denied. Argument ensues, slapping is rampant.

8:23 Ryan P (… or shall we call him Ryan PPP? Is anyone really fooled?) takes Brent Favre with the proviso that he return to Green Bay, and that he accept Ryan P as his new center. Suddenly Dave MN looks less odd. Everyone takes a drink, shudders, and moves on. Except PPP. He never moves on. Never.

8:37 JPF selects Michael Phelps. No one really cares and SuperRookie falls off his barstool. Toonces5X and Victor Lebanon argue over whether they will each get another beer or split a pitcher. They take a vote. Tie.

9:02 2+ hours in. “Brandon” refuses to blow his cover and continues to hide behind his screen name, but a stranger wearing a Mtka baseball cap who claims that he’s “authorized to make decisions for the entity whom we shall refer to as ‘Brandon’ henceforth” slides a folded sheet of paper across the table. The paper reads ‘i hA+e R@nD’.

9:13 Jon is roused to make his first two picks, but upon finding that no one has yet chosen an active NFL player, shouts out “Adrian Tomlinson Manning Favre” and goes into a brief seizure.

9:32 - 10:48 Sort of a hazy blur of booze, outrageous claims, and [redacted].

10:48 - 11:03 Same.

11:15 Roughkat ends draft, satisfied that all of the rows on his spreadsheet have been filled with picks-and-or-pictures. He especially likes the little drawing of a butterfly that JPF made for his last pick, although he’s pretty sure it’s not anatomically correct.

The Hootie says:

August 20th, 2008 at 6:28 pm

Muxhut, that was shear brilliance. Worthy of at least +5 internet points.

I’m going to take a close look at that butterfly for tomorrow’s AAA league draft.

roughkat says:

August 20th, 2008 at 6:35 pm

Hootie - you planning on watching much of the draft? We’re curious here if anyone will actually be paying attention.

AZGopherGirl says:

August 20th, 2008 at 6:40 pm

Hell, I’ve got 2 hours before the Olympic BMX finals start. I’m hanging on every pick. (It sounds better to have groupies when they’re female.)

fasolamatt says:

August 20th, 2008 at 6:46 pm

It’s a technical marvel! I can follow the RBFFL draft on my Blackberry! Fortunately, muxhut has it all covered and I can spend my time more constructively, like watching paint dry.

roughkat says:

August 20th, 2008 at 6:47 pm

super rookie says its better to have groupies that are physically present but internet groupies are better than nothing. This is a group that met over the internet and now we’re meeting for real in person. Maybe there’s hope after all.

SWM29

roughkat says:

August 20th, 2008 at 6:48 pm

We’re actually still waiting for Rand to get here. Apparently, he’s doing the fashionably late thing.

roughkat says:

August 20th, 2008 at 6:57 pm

I love super rookie. He is fabulous.

roughkat says:

August 20th, 2008 at 7:00 pm

Just kicked SR off my computer after coming back from the bathroom.

Randball shows up 3 minutes before we’re set to start and hands out Jon’s award from last year: A boxed set of the 1987 World Series. The t-shirts can’t be far behind.

roughkat says:

August 20th, 2008 at 7:02 pm

clock has officially started

roughkat says:

August 20th, 2008 at 7:10 pm

picks are flying by…end of the 1st round already

The Hootie says:

August 20th, 2008 at 7:18 pm

I’ll be watching the draft between playing Xbox and and writing wedding thank-yous… so paying about as close attention as I will in the later rounds tomorrow.

merx says:

August 20th, 2008 at 7:25 pm

I watched for about a second than got bored.

jama says:

August 20th, 2008 at 7:27 pm

2 WR’s with the 1st 2 picks. That a boy JPF, somebody has to keep the tradition alive.

Please drink several beers for me. I’m looking at you Dave.

Michael Rand says:

August 20th, 2008 at 7:28 pm

my team so far:

Tomlinson
L. Johnson
Romo

Also: Jon predicted the Johnson/Romo sandwich pick. +5.

jama says:

August 20th, 2008 at 7:30 pm

I’m glad to see Stu is drafting with the “One of Us” approach.

Drink lots of Whiskey for me too.

AZGopherGirl says:

August 20th, 2008 at 7:40 pm

Sorry - had to pick up my kids or I figured Child Protection Services might get involved. Luckily the 4 year old can make dinner for the 2 year old, so you have my full attention.

roughkat says:

August 20th, 2008 at 7:46 pm

Dave wants to know if the 4 yr old can pick his team too?

AZGopherGirl says:

August 20th, 2008 at 8:01 pm

The 4 year old would have never picked McNabb. He says Dave’s a punk.

Michael Rand says:

August 20th, 2008 at 8:28 pm

JPF takes FAVRE!

roughkat says:

August 20th, 2008 at 8:32 pm

I thought he was gone with the 1st pick???

Mike M. says:

August 20th, 2008 at 8:58 pm

roughkat, +5 for Technology!

ramon says:

August 20th, 2008 at 9:04 pm

Why didn’t any of you guys tell JPF about Kevin Curtis’ hernia?

Deacon says:

August 20th, 2008 at 9:07 pm

Anyone figure out which pathetically lonely guy at the bar is RETSUB SEMYHR yet? Here’s a hint: he’ll be wearing purple and gold Zubaz and a #7 Cunningham jersey. May or may not have a camo hat on.

Be aware, subject will become agitated when Tarvaris Jackson is not referred to as “TJoke” or one suggests that maybe, just maybe, we do not actually FIRE CHILDRESS NOW!!!

Subject may resort to capital letters and incoherence if provoked. Proceed with caution.

P.S., through 10 rounds, I like roughkat, Randball and Brandon, not necessarily in that order.

roughkat says:

August 20th, 2008 at 9:36 pm

P.S., through 10 rounds, I like roughkat, Randball and Brandon, not necessarily in that order.

That’s what she said!!!

Toonces51 says:

August 21st, 2008 at 12:21 am

This is why it was taking you two so long to make your picks?

JPF says:

August 21st, 2008 at 7:13 am

well nothing like taking a guy with a hernia…. sweet… I guess he can be my waterboy for the first few weeks

Stu says:

August 21st, 2008 at 7:41 am

Thanks again for having the draft a touch closer to STC than you’d have preferred. Had I known there was going to be that much Nickelback, I would have figured out a way to get to RandBall’s Secret HQ at an appropriate time.

Also, I’m ready to make add/drops now.

Michael Scott says:

August 21st, 2008 at 7:43 am

“That’s what she said!!!”

+1, roughkat

jama says:

August 21st, 2008 at 8:18 am

Can we expect pictures from the event? I liked another shot and figuring out who looks like which D list celeb. I know I can pick out Screech(Dave MN) but the rest of you might be a little harder.

jama says:

August 21st, 2008 at 8:27 am

On a sad NFL note, Gene Upshaw died this morning. Dealing with the Owners for all these years finally caught up to him. That and cancer.

JPF says:

August 21st, 2008 at 8:33 am

is there much difference Jama?