Another fun addition to the Clemens family X-mas card
Posted on September 2nd, 2008 – 12:45 PMBy Michael Rand
A sneak preview at a Debbie Clemens holiday card, as if written by a Minnesota aunt:
Dear family and friends,
2008 has certainly been a busy and eventful year for all of us. As many of you know, Roger retired last year, giving him a lot more time to focus on household projects and (of course!) golf. The year started with Roger appearing on 60 Minutes (didn’t he look handsome?) and officially putting to rest all those nasty rumors. April, as you know, brought accusations that he had a long-standing relationship with that singer, Mindy McCready. Hah! What a hoot. As they say, no marriage is perfect.
The kids are all super, though as of the time of writing this, Koby has gotten himself into a bit of a pickle with the law. He assures me that it was nothing but a “boys will be boys” misunderstanding and that there was really no need to get the police involved in the first place. He’s a good boy — so much like his father. Kory, Kacy and Kody are also staying busy with their various projects. My, how they grow up so fast!
As for me, it was just a typical year. Taking care of my husband and family, while sidestepping the occasional steroid allegation.
Overall, we feel wonderful to be so blessed with love and attention from everyone. We can only hope 2009 brings more of the same sunshine and laughter to us and all of you.
Best wishes,
The Clemens Family
17 Responses to "Another fun addition to the Clemens family X-mas card"
What if Roger gets so pissed off, that he rips Kory apart?
He could do it because he’s on the juice, but don’t tell anyone.
That is awesome.
Too bad. Clemens was such an awesome pitcher, but I heard the Son of Sam had a great singing voice
It should be noted that Keno Clemens, Klepto Clemens and Kocktail Clemens also had very bad years.
Randball is just upset that they send out an X-mas card to the Clemens family every year, and have yet to receive one back.
So, every year he just writes his own and pretends to be surprised. (Also happens in Valentine’s day)
Leave the poor man and his family alone. He did nothing wrong except take illegal substances, cheat on his wife, lie, commit perjury, and prove that it’s all about the money. Other than that, he’s perfect. In fact, he’s a great role model…..if you want your kids to be assholes.
Looks like Tiger’s knee wasn’t bothering him that much.
jama- I only read articles from credible sources…
But sometimes you gotta play hurt when the reward is truly worth it…
excuse me while i change topics in midstream.
Hey when you are good at something you keep doing it. Me and completely veering off topic are pushing on strong.
(I figured if we are bringing up athletes and their kids, why not look at the exact opposite of Roger Clemens and his family)
Turns out this story did not have racial undertones, but was just an artifact of the Clemens’ kids visiting lovely Stearns County.
Research on steroids usually cover muscle development and regeneration. I wonder if anyone has done such research on a pitcher and not a hitter. Obviously, steroids aided the big man, but I wonder how much of his success was due to him, God given skills so to speak, and how much was man made. Actually, I don’t wonder about this much, but it is an interesting thought nonetheless
Dear Brian Lambert,
Will you please sponsor a “Can You Out RandBall RandBall” contest?
thanx fasolamatt
jama- Were you out kicking puppies while wearing a shirt with your name on it this weekend or something? A lot more anti-jama sentiment than usual, it seems.
Hootie
No puppy kicking, just loads of bad jokes over months and the dyke finally broke. It looks like jama is going to have to retire soon.
jama- I didn’t mean to indicate you weren’t a credible source, I was referring to the source of the link.
There was seemingly more sarcasm against the Strib when I typed it.
Hey Rand,
Are we playing Fan Frenzy this year?
