Dance!
Posted on September 11th, 2008 – 3:24 PMBy Michael Rand
MC Creme Fraiche sent this to us the other day, and honestly we cannot stop laughing. And the best part? This is not a joke. Vern Fonk is a real business. It has nothing to do with sports.
52 Responses to "Dance!"
RAND! We just talked about his last night. Everytime I post something worth while, you put up a new entry. Although watching this was worth it.
I do enjoy the “Save” pelvic thrusting in the second commercial. It really drives the point home.
Did anyone else picture Rand watching each comment come in on the last thread, finger on the proverbial “Submit New Entry” trigger, just waiting…
“…but I have better things to do like getting into a … with my dad and grampa…”
And [click].
/RandBall: Getting Minds out of Gutters, One Basement at a Time
Shouldn’t LQ be all over this? Unless I’m mistaken, which I might be, doesn’t he live out in the Northwest? Is he actually in this clip?
He’s angry and he
Is indecipherable
Fonk = P3?
I’m pretty sure that was fake. Storm Troopers don’t shoot accurately enough to take out SR22s.
When aliens take over the world and try to learn what made our civilization tick, will they decide that P3 was really a genius, that happened to be before his time? Or will it take them decades to decipher what exactly he was trying to say?
Was there a Good Sports this week? Has Rand been cancelled already?
Why can’t you all just leave me alone? blah blah blah…
/leaves sobbing
This Paulos was not composed altogether of flesh and blood. It had shape - for did not this star-fashioned image prove it? - but that shape was not made of matter. When the stars were right, It could plunge from world to world through the sky; but when the stars were wrong, It could not live. But although he no longer lived, he would never really die.
Excerpt, The Call of P’thulhu
jama
I will go with decades. The best thing we can hope for is Favre and Rogers dying in a car accident at the same time. P3 carving “P3 was here” in the ceiling and then hanging himself Shawshank style. A guy can hope can’t he?
Tooncies, you work from home on your computer right? I’m sure you get all kinds of viruses from looking up internet porn like the rest of us. Send P3 an email with one that will make his monitor implode.
I thought this was a trailer for the new Texas Chainsaw Maasacre.
Good Sports took a temporary break for the RNC (all our shooters were tied up for a while). It’ll be back soon.
Do you think that Jeff George will see that the post “Jeff George to the Rescue?” has 77 responses and feel all important?
Let’s play a game. It’s called, “What the Fungus, P3?!” The object of the game is thus: The first RandBaller to decipher P3’s posts and accurately depict what point he is actually making receives 5 internet points, redeemable for COW status later in the week.
“all our shooters were tied up for a while”
Funny seems they had time to shoot a new AV “episode”*
*Episode obviously refers to screaming, beer chugging, and shoot guns.
Good Sports took a temporary break for the RNC (all our shooters were tied up for a while)
You call them “shooters”? Man, that must have been a nightmare for the guys wiretapping your phones that week.
“receives 5 internet points, redeemable for COW status later in the week.”
Not worth it. I already have a bloodshot eyes from the Patron Shots I had last night.
Mike M.:
You have apparently missed Stu’s Pulitzer winning series: “Reading P3 So You Don’t Have To”
AZ
I think Jeff George is too busy [redacted] Jason Whitlock right now.
“The first RandBaller to decipher P3’s posts and accurately depict what point he is actually making receives 5 internet points, redeemable for COW status later in the week.”
P3 would be required to judge than, as know one else would know what point he was trying to make.
Just got back from the Twins game = Lame. Franchise pitched great, offense did nothing.
Did I miss anything? I am to lazy to read the posts and comments. Can someone recap please?
I’m pretty sure that was fake. Storm Troopers don’t shoot accurately enough to take out SR22s.
Hootie: geek test = you fail!
For newbie, a recap:
P3 - Incoherent
Rand - Minding Shapely Young Journalists
Stu - One heartbeat from the Blogmastercy, no executive experience
Joker - Filthy as usual, pretends to be upright citizen when confronted publicly
jama - Upset over Bears comments, suicidal over P3 comments
Dave MN - Off-topic, hit and miss, largely unfunny
Deacon - Imitating co-eds convincingly
AZGG - Not getting a COW as long as we know it’s her
The Hootie - Quoting some scripture from what I’m guessing is Dianetics
Vern Fonk - Shipoopie
Cool, so I missed nothing new. Thanks.
Yep, just another beautiful day in the neighborhood
Newbie
Too add to Dave:
Rocket- Attempted war of words with Stu. Stu backed down
P3- Cutting RandBall readership in half
Jason Whitlock- Mouth [redacted] Jeff George
Some guy from Montanta- Doing his best P3 impression
@DaveMN-
Not Dianetics. HP Lovecraft. I sometimes forget that this is a sports blog and that I am by far the nerdiest/geekiest one here.
Oh and can we please get “Honk for Fonk” on the Randball T-shirt somewhere?
Hey, wait a second Joker, what makes you think I look at…never mind. Email sent.
Hootie: that was awesome, or if you’d rather, c’nai bltherhr krghthth!
…the [redacted]’s a “Randball T-shirt”??
Oh and can we please get “Honk for Fonk” on the Randball T-shirt somewhere?
I would prefer it written on the butt of the RandBall ladies’ gym shorts
Speaking to the topic of the thread, the ads have won 2 Telly awards. Meaning there are two awards out there named after me.
Somehow, Purple Funk has been shut out of the Telly Awards…
@Stu- Thank you. I’m glad someone actually understood.
“Hey, wait a second Joker, what makes you think I look at…never mind. Email sent.”
And why is it you have his email address? You failed your test as well. You and hootie need to go stand in the corner.
I’m pretty sure I’ll be saying “Shipoopie, take that to the bank” the rest of the week now.
The Pacific Northwest is a strange place.
If it had more chainsaws it would have looked exactly like my wedding video.
Rand
I will pay your next bartab if you block P3 as discussed last night.
If it had more chainsaws it would have looked exactly like my wedding video.
Track number 5 will not be “Chainsaw Juggler”
Joker: Can’t do it. P3 is a charter member and adds spice to this commenter stew. (That’s not to be confused with Commenter Stu, which should not be heated under any circumstances).
Or you can drive your CAR!
I need some friscalating dusklight to propel me through the next hour or so, while I wait for the super-duper thunderstorms to roll through so that I can (walk) home.
If P3 is a “charter member”, what are Dave, jama, Stu, and myself classified as? The Untouchables? Gods? Invincible?
P3 would be missed (not personally, of course).
jama: it is likely that the Aliens will discover that reading P3’s comments backwards compels one to do horrible, unspeakable things in the name of the Dark Lord*
*Dark Lord = Brett Favre
Did the guy in the video say I could log on to the Inter-met?
Either way I am now scared to drive my car, since it is not ensuring myself a safe trip.
I like that the commercial has gotten inside of Stu, too.
Clearly, Rand gets paid by the number of words his posts generate. He needs P3 in order to keep the pug in the lifestyle to which he is accustomed. And pug outfits cost more than Rand can drink in one sitting.
newbie: yes. Either that, or “Interman.” Either way, I’m sold.
It’s Inter Men. Duh.
“I like that the commercial has gotten inside of Stu, too.”
Stu you better go get that checked out. I hear it can lead to anal leakage.
