We’re late to the Matt Millen party, but still …
Posted on September 24th, 2008 – 3:31 PMBy Michael Rand
One of our favorite things just happened today: Matt Millen was fired. It’s not great because it happened but because we love when web sites devoted to a cause like firing a coach or general manager finally get their way and are then like, um, now what? Firemillen.com, however, went down with guns blazing. The popular site was so inundated with interview requests that it put out a press release. Yes, that’s right: a FireX web site put out a press release for what could be its 632nd and final post. The release notes that the Lions were 31-82 during Millen’s tenure. That’s not good. Say what you will about Kevin McHale, but at least he has presided over playoff teams.
The only sadness is that we won’t have Millen (and the Lions) to kick around anymore. So for the next hour and a half or so, we’d like you to pretend you were Matt Millen and still in charge of the Lions. Crank out a five-year plan for the team. It will be glorious, and it had better include some [redacted] wide receivers for Kitna to throw to.
23 Responses to "We’re late to the Matt Millen party, but still …"
I would draft an over rated college QB, to learn from the great Kitna. I would follow this up with three years of drafting overhyped wide recivers.
It’s ok if you’re late. I don’t think anyone will show up to Millen’s party.
I heard even his wife and kids think he’s a loser.
Here’s a question for you all;
At the end of his employment, will Childress be as hated as Millen?
At the end of his employment, will Childress be as hated as Millen?
No. He won’t be liked, but he hasn’t single-handedly torpedoed the Vikings into oblivion.
Millen absolutely killed that team. I mean, those fans have had to watch the Lions be systematically choked to death by bad management during the entirety of Millen’s tenure. I’d imagine he’ll go down as one of the most hated individuals in Detroit sports history.
I can’t wait for Millen’s press conference…
“WAYNE FONTES IS NOT WALKING THROUGH THAT DOOR! BILLY SIMS IS NOT WALKING THROUGH THAT DOOR! GARY MOELLER IS NOT WALKING THROUGH THAT DOOR!”
I may start by getting some real helmets for the players instead of paper bags.
YEAR 1: fire Rod Marinelli, bring in new head coach Scott Linehan. I can’t believe St. Louis let him go! Draft WR.
(Final Record: 4-12)
YEAR 2: let go of Jon Kitna, it’s just nor working anymore. Sign free agent Kerry Collins. He wins games, that’s what matters. Draft WR.
(Final Record: 3-13)
YEAR 3: fire Scott Linehan, it’s just not working out. Hire new coach Dennis Green. Say what you will, but that guy can coach up an offense! Draft WR.
(Final Record: 6-10)
YEAR 4: get rid of Kerry Collins, just too not mobile enough to play the position effectively. Bring in free agent Vince Young to add some much-need zazz to the offense and put us over the top, baby! Draft WR.
(Final Record: 4-12)
YEAR 5: fire Dennis Green, just not happening for Denny here, gotta go in a new direction. Hire Dick Jauron. What the hell, why not? Ask for 10-year extension. Draft WR.
(Final Record: 3-13)
Where does Vince Young actually committing suicide come into your plan, Stu?
What? Too soon? Insensitive?
Trade Calvin Johnson and 4 worthless pics to Vikings for 5 players and 8 early round draft picks. Hey…it’s happened before…
Stu: Dead on. Only Millen would refer to Vince Young as having “zazz”
Way to think like Matt Millen Stu.
Has Big Nick’s new video been posted yet?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWmYTe9m9iQ
The really sad thing for the Lions? After Roy Williams leaves as a free agent after this season they actually need to draft another WR.
jama: I’d suggest they wait until after the first round this time…
I agree but other than Calvin Johnson they have nobody else. How pathetic is that? They could have traded Roy Williams for at least a 1st round pick plus a later round pick before the season.
Year One: Admit Henry Ford was a virulent anti-Semite. (If they do, we’ll admit our main airport terminal was named after one.) Record: 4-12
Year Two: Make “Detroit Rock City” the official team song. Record: 6-10
Year Three: Make Iggy Pop the Offensive Coordinator. Record 9-7. Lose in first round to Tampa Bay.
Year Four: Jon Kitna marries Meg White from the White Stripes. Record: 7-9
Year Five: Celebrate previous 7-9 season with a team outing to the Two-dollar Movie House for a special screening of “8 Mile”. Go 8-8, lose in first round of playoffs to Arizona.
This is all contingent on their next two draft choices being wide receivers.
jama- Why would Roy Williams leave? According to him, they are the best receiver tandem in the NFL, behind Harrison/Wayne and Ocho-Cinco/TJ Housh. (All having outstanding years BTW.)
“jama- Why would Roy Williams leave?”
Should we count the ways?
- Jon Kitna
- Rod Marinelli
- Ford Motor Co.
- Eminem
- Kid Rock
- Gary Sheffield
- Bill Laimbeer
- Red Wings
- The Economy
Since my posts will be sporadic the next couple days, allow me to nominate ramon’s post above for COW due to his referencing of Iggy and Meg White.
Oh, and his Ford/Lindbergh crack was outstanding, too.
This whole Matt Millen mess was my fault. I so desperately hated him in the broadcast booth that I willed him into a job that better served my interests. Who knew the Lions would worship at the temple of his narcism this long?
The cortisone shot really helped.
Hmm, time to register http://www.firechildress.com and http://www.firebradchildress.com
Nathan, don’t forget http://www.FIRECHILLY.com
