That raccoon eats well at Geno Auriemma’s house
Posted on September 25th, 2008 – 2:00 PMBy Michael Rand
Finally, an excuse for a new tag: lingering raccoon injuries. Thank you, Pat Summitt.
Tennessee women’s basketball coach Pat Summitt underwent shoulder surgery on Thursday, correcting an injury she suffered while chasing a raccoon off the deck of her home.
“Pat is doing well,” said Jenny Moshak, Tennessee’s associate athletics director for sports medicine. Moshak said that Summitt will begin rehabilitation on the shoulder in about a week.
Summitt, who is beginning her 35th season at Tennessee, is the winningest coach in NCAA basketball history with a 983-182 overall record. She dislocated her shoulder on March 5 in attempt to prevent a raccoon from attacking her yellow Labrador Retrievers.
OK, we understand the whole raccoon thing, but we can’t accept that there was a photographer there right at the moment she was trying to scare the animal away. Wait, what? That’s just how she coaches? Awesome. By the way, Jenny Moshak isn’t winning any awards for insight. If it was us, we probably wouldn’t have needed to use that as a direct quote.
33 Responses to "That raccoon eats well at Geno Auriemma’s house"
That’s why the bottom line said Pat Summitt, day-to-day (Raccoon)!
Reporter: So, how is Pat doing?
JM: Pat is doing well.
Reporter: When will she start rehabilitation on the injured shoulder?
JM: ’bout a week.
Reporter: Do you see any way that this might affect her coaching ability?
JM: (click)
Raccoons are real fu…s ! I know. I camp alot and they are fearless if they smell food. I remember camping in the U.P with my family when it sounded like Phat was by the campfire rooting around for scraps. I put my flashlight on the animal and that normally alerts them or actually drives them off. Not this guy, and he was huge. I think my daugter was about 5 at the time and got real scared.
Long story made short: I got out of the tent and walked toward the piece and the fire (don’t do this at home) and picked up a still burning log, a really big log, and blasted it right into his side. He let out a growl, looked right at me, but didn’t leave, but look at it this way. If any of you live within a few miles of the Miss. they come through the sewers and that mess you see sometimes came from them…so why, I ask, can’t we discharge firearms in the city ?
“Long story made short:”
P3 is this actually you or some one playing a prank?
Wait, one raccoon vs multiple Labrador retrievers? She must have really put the fear of God into those dogs for them to be afraid of one little raccoon. Did the dogs see her in that cheerleading outfit or something?
“Thursday, correcting an injury she suffered while chasing a raccoon off the deck of her home.”
How does someone who probably runs after her players with a battle ax to get them to play well dislocate their shoulder running after a raccoon? My guess is that what really happened is she fell out of her sex swing.
Long story made short:
Giant stubborn raccoon…campfire…hit with burning log…raccoon doesn’t care…something about sewers and Brett Favre’s home state…
Is the raccoon in the picture the one from the story, or is it just a file photo?
“Did the dogs see her in that cheerleading outfit or something?”
Her dogs are both named “Peanut Butter”
I didn’t know David Bowie even knew anything about basketball.
no, it actually happened. My wife is my witness. My daughter is in school, but I suppose she could write in. Sometimes raccoons can be monstrous, and most of them are fearless when rooting for food. I remember one night late jogging by the St. Clair Broiler which has huge dumpsters and in the distance I saw one of these fu…ers, this one smaller and so it took off, but they look like little bears all the same. Rangers say to stay away because they are very strong with nasty bites, and yes it is I, the much heralded P3, hater of the Vikings and you can test me on that if you wish..
INVIZIBUL SWORD SWALLOWING CONTEST!
Long story made short:..what can I say ? A good story, my English teacher once said, needs detail, detail, detail. Now I could be telling a long story about my favorite personal appendage but I won’t, since that would be too long..
How’s this from Fox News:
Woman Kills Rabid Raccoon With Bare Hands
Friday, August 10, 2007
CHESHIRE, Conn. — A woman killed a raccoon with her bare hands Thursday when the animal attacked a young boy. Officials with Cheshire animal control say the woman was walking in the woods around 11 a.m. with a group of children when the animal bit the 5-year-old son of a friend.
She pulled the raccoon off the child, told the children to run home and strangled the animal, authorities said.
“She had the presence of mind to choke it,” animal control officer April Leiler told the Record-Journal of Meriden. “She is one tough lady.”
The carcass was taken to a state laboratory in Hartford where it tested positive for rabies.
The woman and the boy are undergoing rabies treatment. Their names have not been released.
Think of this when you walk the River Road, and ask yourself. Can you throttle a rabid raccoon or will you turn and run taking on a Purple hue in doing so…
P3 we get it. Raccoons = Bad. Go finish trying to get someone to care over at Access Vikings.
I hope she didn’t eat the Raccoon meat, I hear it can contain tapeworms.
/It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is the greatest show on tv based in Philadelphia, staring Danny DeVito, that airs after 10pm on a Thursday night, on FX, with five words in its title.
Also, the season opener was the most disturbing episode I’ve seen.
Very disturbing show, but it gets me laughing.
Plus a drunk Danny DeVito can not be beat. Unless it’s a drunk Arnold with a drunk DeVito and they are wearing matching outfits. That would beat it.
A raccoon once bit my sister.
No really! She was carving her initials on the raccoon with the sharpened end of an interspace toothbrush given by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian movies: “The H0t Hands of an Oslo Dentist”, “Fillings of Passion”, “The Huge Molars of Horst Nordfink”…
Hootie
I saw a raccoon once.
Joker, reading both “Access Vikings” it appears varies little from this blog..a little more over the top, more eceentric, perhaps, but look over your own “writing” before throwing stones in crappy plastic sports domes. Also it’s obvious that you and your bedmate JamaTheHut have never come across one of these large creatures in the wild (or likely been much in the wild (that’s your cue to lie))) or you wouldn’t be talking like such fools. I forget you belong to an indoor culture..indoors at home and school and even, paradoxically, at your Purple love fest. So, why am I even bothering to respond to your crap. Don’t know, so I’ll stop..
We apologize for the fault in the comments. Those responsible have been
sacked.
Who cut the brakes?
I did. Wildcard, bitches!
/Always Sunny is gold! Pure gold, Jerry!
Mind you, raccoon bites can be pretty nasty…
Thank-you, MR. I knew someone had to get the reference.
That’s twice in 2 weeks that I’ve underestimated my nerdiness on here.
Hootie…the correct preposition I believe for the meaning you intend is “in” here above. As for nerdiness, I don’t believe that’s what it is. It’s more calculated than that. For example, this post…ostensibly..for there are many here who have significant difficulty with comprehension was directly concerned (linearly we writers say) with how Summitt dislocated her shoulder going after a raccoon. I then added, as part of a post with that obvious intent, how I went after a raccoon who was messing up my campfire and tearing up food bags. Actually a good story but not understood by city boys.
Simple enough, and here is where I don’t think nerdiness is involved. There were those, the ever present incestual blog and bar crowd, who came back with their guttural one line summary statements like “I saw a raccoon once” or the more enlightened “I hope she didn’t eat the Raccoon meat” (capitalized I don’t know why). These boys that were sadly left behind before Bush took office were not nerds then in my book, but ill intended cretins, the worst kind, and how they got this far in life or got wives or well hidden boyfriends is alarming to me in the fullest. But nerds, no, cretins and morons, yes.
Glad to be of service, Hootie.
By “nerdiness” I meant my references to HP Lovecraft and Monty Python. Not so much raccoons.
And would I say I’m commenting “on” Randball or “in” Randball? I say “on”.
commenting “on” Randball or “in” Randball
Commenting “in” RandBall has far worse implications
in or on, let’s call the hole thing off
I’m going to discuss with my p.c. gurus friends some software we can hook up to the RandB site and discover real ID’s like, say Joker’s, then go down to the Miss after midnight and trap a raccoon (they really don’t like that) and put it on her porch…(only a city girl could write Joker, don’t you think, but we’ll find out by the squeal)
