COW: Clarence Swamptown and The Walls
Posted on October 27th, 2008 – 2:30 PMBy Michael Rand
Most people would probably agree this was worth the wait. Art provided by Clarence, probably from his recent trip to central Minnesota. Sir?
I was 13 years old when the Berlin Wall fell. It symbolized the collapse of the “Iron Curtain,” a victory in the fight against communism. I was 32 years old when the Williams Wall fell. This collapse is much more important than some stupid curtain. These allegations are a significant victory in the NFL’s long term fight against the Vikings winning the Super Bowl.
I have been humming the Scorpion’s “Wind of Change” all day. How can I describe the Scorpions to the younger RandBallers? They were basically an ’80s German rock band that sucked. They were Tokio Hotel before there was a Tokio Hotel. They had 2 hits: “Rock You Like a Hurricane” (which Joker has awesomely programmed to automatically play when motion is detected near his waterbed), and “Wind of Change”, a tribute to the falling of the Berlin Wall and the crumbling communist bloc. Here is a link to the video.
Without E.J. Henderson, Kevin Williams, and Pat Williams — assuming the latter two are out and these allegations are, indeed, correct — the Vikings’ chances are slim. Their backups are not good enough to pick up the slack. So click on the video link, light up your sparklers, and sing along to this lame remake as an ode to what might have been:
(Vikings horn replaces whistling of the opening melody)
I follow 494
Down to Winter Park
Listening to the wind, of Fred Evans
A November fall night
Matt Forte running for 260
Blowing past the wind, of Fred Evans
(cue Vikings horn again)
The NFL is closing in
Did you ever think
Pat and Kevin could be so close, like brothers
Diuretics in their urine?
I can feel a 2009 top 10 draft pick
Blowing with the wind, of Fred Evans
Take me, to the magic of a blowout
On a glory night
Where Ryan Grant runs for 260
Bowling over the wind, of Fred Evans
16 Responses to "COW: Clarence Swamptown and The Walls"
We don’t need no edge rushing
We don’t need no pass control
No batted passes at the line
Defense leave QB’s alone
Hey! Defense! Leave QB’s alone
All in all, it’s just another brick in the wall
All in all, it’s just another brick in the wall
We are all of us living in the shadow of Swamptown.
Good golly, that was nice.
I don’t know if we have an award for COW Post of the Year, but I would like to create that award and nominate that post.
I would also like somebody to get the whistling intro out of my head, as I have meetings this afternoon and can’t be whistling songs.
So let me get this straight, CS is a Cow Salesman, Overall Renaissance man, and a musician?
Where can I sign up?! We may have to move to California or New Hampshire but they have cow’s there too.
Wall Street fell recently, too.
And, of course, there’s Dallas All-Pro Everson Walls, whose personal website is the #1 Google result (no quotes). This makes me jealous; if you type my name into Google, I’m #5.
Add me to the list of people who would like to buy Clarence a beer to thank him for that fantastic post, then punch him for getting that song stuck in their head.
If you type my real name into Google, I’m #1. Granted, “Britney Spears Upskirt” is not a common name.
“Air show? Buzz cut alabamans spewing colored smoke from their wizz jets to the strains of “Rock You Like a Hurricane”. What kind of country-fried rube is still impressed by that?!”
Mr. Goodell, (please don’t) Tear down this wall!
“Air show? Buzz cut alabamans spewing colored smoke from their wizz jets to the strains of “Rock You Like a Hurricane”. What kind of country-fried rube is still impressed by that?!”
Cut to Randball family cheering emphatically at an add for an air show. With the pug running around in circles.
TWO hits? A little respekt, bitte.
\listed #22 on VH1’s list of the 25 Greatest Power Ballads
True Scorpions-related story: in high school, I had two friends who made it a daily tradition to get to study hall via the junior-high hallway, one upon the other’s back, while singing “Rock You Like a Hurricane” at the top of their lungs in Spanish.
Sometimes I miss high school.
““Rock You Like a Hurricane” (which Joker has awesomely programmed to automatically play when motion is detected near his waterbed)”
And followed by Motley Crue - She Goes Down and Queen - Another One Bites the Dust.
Joker,
When does Winger’s, “Seventeen” kick in? The morning after?
From the desk of Fred Evans:
“I am Fred Evans and I approve this message.”
Mmmm….country fried rube
