Goldy Gopher would like to give you an injection
Posted on October 27th, 2008 – 10:30 AMBy Michael Rand
The University of Minnesota is attempting on Tuesday to break the Guinness World Record for flu shots given out in a single day. The record is 3,271; the U would like to dole out 10,000 if possible (and really, Anything is Possible!). It seems like a random record to break (like, say, holding the record for most plastic forks counted in 12 minutes), but obviously the cause is good and it’s mostly a way to get people immunized.
Update: We’re also told Vikings players and cheerleaders will be on hand for part of this event from 10:30 to 11:30 on Northrop Plaza. Any jokes about certain defensive linemen would be purely speculative and factual inaccurate.
To mark this momentous occasion, the U has produced a promotional video featuring Goldy Gopher chasing students around campus with a giant, fake syringe. They have graciously passed it along to us, and we have to say it’s a combination of mesmerizing and frightening. If it doesn’t make those kids get flu shots, we don’t know what will. Have a look-see.
28 Responses to "Goldy Gopher would like to give you an injection"
Was Goldy the Gopher in San Fransisco from 1993-2007? I think Barry Bonds just found his best explanation yet.
Ha! This is awesome… Goldy gives a mean injection. How much cooler is Goldy now that the Gophers are good, by the way?
You really need a Nightmare Fuel tag, Michael.
Stu- Rand already has plenty of other tags to ignore.
MASCOT UNDER SUSPICION IN COLD CASE
By MARTH JONTHALER, Associated Press
Last update: October 27, 2008 - 11:23 AM
SEATTLE, WA - Authorities in Seattle have detained Goldfellow J. “Goldy” Gopher, beloved mascot for the University of Minnesota, as part of their ongoing investigation into the 2002 death of Layne Staley, lead singer for dirge-rock enthusiasts Alice in Chains.
Gopher, 51, a resident of St. Paul, was taken in for questioning after video surfaced of him terrorizing co-eds with a really big needle. One eyewitness claimed that Gopher kept saying “SKI U MAH [expletive]. NOM NOM NOM” in a “cool, almost clinical” manner as he ran about campus.
Staley’s death from a drug overdose had originally been ruled an accident, but detectives still working the case had lingering questions. “Very few addicts, even those making a comfortable living, have access to giant syringes,” said a police source who asked not to be identified. “The wounds were consistent with those of a big, honking syringe. The thing is, who has one? They aren’t just lying around.”
Gopher’s attorney, Dave Mona, would only say that his client was cooperating fully with police, and wouldn’t it be nice if the Gophers would just made Tim Brewster Head Coach-for-Life.
Yes, the “Uncategorized” tag really does represent everything posted on here more accurately than anything else.
God forbid, we’re actually able to find old posts. I still don’t know how Stu does it all the time. The search feature on this blog is worthless.
Why do I always have to come after Stu? I was going to make some joke about that lady that was randomly giving out free flu shots on campus a few years ago, but now it is going to seem lame.
Thanks a lot Stu, you ruined everything, you… ruiner!
P.S. My sister likes you!
I should have said…
/Sheri-Teri, Simpsons quote.
I don’t want Stu to think my sister really does like him. She’s just “okay” with him.
Nice find, Stu. I heard it was a case of mistaken identity. Goldy was actually trying to get even for Chris Cornell’s “Feeling Minnesota” dis, but got his Seattle grunge bands confused. (Police may want to re-open the investigation into Kurt Cobain’s death…)
Would folks really like me to use the tags? Because I can … or at least I can try.
It’s not like you never use tags, right? Because I checked out “lingering raccoon injuries”, thinking it was good to know Pat Summit wasn’t the only victim to these terrible animals, but it was her story from a few weeks ago.
When you use the tags it helps to go back and look at posts that had tons of interest. Like this one. Over 500 posts that’s impressive.
Rand, it doesn’t really matter about the tags, it’s just funny that they sit on the side of the page as something that had such promise, but turned out to be a bust. It’s like RandBall’s very own T-Jack.
You could at least make sure that each category has more than one post.
For example: fisticuffmanship could be expanded on a bit.
Oh and jama- those were some good comments to that article too. Great college football coaches contract minds.
That video reminds me of a dream that I had. Or, at least I think it was a dream. All I really remember is that I was at Sally’s, enjoying a few, when Goldy walked in. He was really funny and really charming and he offered to by me a drink. Then all I remember is waking up the next day nake…
My god…
Goldy Gopher violated me.
This has been picked up by Deadspin, and they DID use the “Nightmare Fuel” tag.
From what I can tell, Star Tribune bloggers do not believe in the power of tags.
…the Aristocrats!
Needs more Yakety Sax
Do not take a flu shot. They are a joke. Pharmaceutical companies guess which strain of flu will be the most common each year when creating their vaccines. They are wrong more than right, so the shot usually provides no benefit. The shots also contain toxins that do more harm to your body than the shots do good. Using Goldy to do this is another marketing ploy by pharma to sell their poison.
I agree with mudcatgrant: do NOT take a flu shot! Please!!
And we’re frontpaged.
Using Goldy to do this is another marketing ploy by pharma to sell their poison.
Mmmmm…delicious poison.
they could have at least asked the real Goldy to do this video. IMPOSTOR!
Why should I be convinced to go try and get a 30 second flu shot at the world record’s most crowded location?
Because it’s good for you, that’s why! Do it for the herd.
Thats not even the real Goldy!! Thats the weak, fake, lame Goldie that wishes it was sweet like football/basketball/hockey/soccer/volleyball Goldy. Compare pictures, people. Goldie is terrible. If you ever see that pants-less boring Gopher standing around just waving, feel free to punch it.
It just stands there motionless for 12 seconds. GOLDIE SUCKS!! I’m going to some sort of sporting event to see Goldy. Not some fake imposter.
