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Wolves Season Tickets Game 3: Brandon

Posted on November 6th, 2008 – 11:27 AM
By Michael Rand

nosebleed.jpgOur ongoing 41-part series continues with Brandon’s first Wolves game as part of our season ticket triumvirate. As you’ll notice, things didn’t quite go according to plan. Brandon is a longtime commenter and is the proprietor of World of B, a site dedicated to unicorns. Brandon?

Being a proud first-time season ticket holder, it didn’t take long for the reality of the Timberwolves’ low-end status to slap me across the face. Wondering if the Wolves had arrived on the scene, possibly turned a corner, rekindled a spark of excitement from the general populace? That’d be a no, as far as I’m concerned.

It started when my game one Guest of Honor canceled on me a few hours before tip-off. It was time to scramble for a new attendee willing to join me in the upper desk to scout the local roundball squad. Shouldn’t be a problem, right?

Friend one considered joining me, until he remembered he’d scheduled a haircut. Friend two was still sick from the previous night’s celebration and placed himself on the PUP list. Friend three didn’t even bother returning my call. A scroll through my cell phone contacts unearthed lost cause after lost cause; the few of my friends who passed the first test by liking basketball were soon disqualified due to an undeniable possession of a “life.”

With no accompaniment to the game, my disappointing fate was clear: eat the tickets, skip the game and watch from the couch. I am a season ticket-holder. I did not attend my first game. Awesome. Still, I had a duty to recap the goings-on, so I parked myself on the davenport and got to analyzing. Here is what transpired.

A back-and-forth contest ended up going to San Antone, 129-125 in double overtime. An ugly first half from both teams — missed shot after missed shot — gave way to an action-packed fourth quarter and overtimes, each team trading buckets and going on mini-runs until the dust cleared. Tony Parker turned in 55 points, Tim Duncan led the game with 18 uncalled molestations (right at his season average), and Jefferson led the T-Pups with 30.

Notes:

- This was a winnable game. The Spurs are beatable, currently featuring a roster of Duncan, Parker and what appears to be rented players from a local JV high school squad. Nice defense on Parker, by the way, who scored the easiest 55 points in NBA history (it’s true; I looked it up), which was so fun to watch I broke out into an anger-sweat and flung a pillow across my living room.

- I’m driving the Fire Randy Wittman bus and will accept all interested travelers. The Witt couldn’t figure out how to defend a team that played most of the game with three inept offensive players on the court. The T-Wolves ran around on the defensive end acting as if they’d never seen a pick-&-roll before. ‘Twas ugly.

- Why is Mike Miller driving and trying to create his own shot? I love the guy, but he may have to be put on a three-dribble quota, like in Team Handball. Anything more, and it’s a dollar fine.

- Guys, I’ve been working on an impression. Tell me what you think. Here’s me being Randy Foye. [Brandon dribbles a basketball across half-court, passes to nearest teammate on the perimeter, stands in place until possession is over.] Gawd, what a breathtaking playmaker.

- The starting five — Jefferson, Brewer, Gomes, Miller and Foye — are painful to watch together. On offense, it’s four guys standing around trying to get the ball to Jefferson, occasionally spelled by Mike Miller and Corey Brewer taking turns playing the crowd-favorite “Hey guys, watch me drive the lane!” game that always ends in a gorgeous off-balanced brick.

- Here’s your best lineup, as far as I’m concerned: Bassy, Miller, Love, Jefferson and I-don’t-care-who (here is where we all sigh deeply for having no options at center). Those four bring quality play to the table; with them, I see shades of hope. Jefferson does what he does, Love is a joy to watch, Bassy is lightning-quick and Miller can catch fire at any time. They’re legitimately exciting.

Perhaps I’ll even get to see them in person sometime.

14 Responses to "Wolves Season Tickets Game 3: Brandon"

Dave MN says:

November 6th, 2008 at 11:32 am

The wonders of season-ticket ownership. More games watched on couch than in person.

As a Twins season-ticket holder, I am often in the same boat. Fortunately, my tickets are cheap seats, so it’s not quite as agonizing as it probably is for others.

Stu says:

November 6th, 2008 at 11:38 am

So glad I didn’t watch this. Nice recap, sir.

Joker says:

November 6th, 2008 at 11:46 am

If you would have called me and asked me to go, I would have said, “no, I already have a date with hell in 50 years or so.”

Clarence Swamptown says:

November 6th, 2008 at 11:51 am

In honor of Brandon, PECTOA year-end projected season ticket useage, to date:

Women: 41 tickets
Men: 13.7 tickets
No-show: 27.3 tickets
Record: 14-27

Adam says:

November 6th, 2008 at 11:55 am

I picked up on this game half way through the 4th quarter and there were 3 things I noticed. (other than the fact that the building was barely half full.

1. Duncan double dribbled on his game tying possession in regulation. Heck, I saw it on TV and the ref 10′ away didn’t notice. The bench went crazy to no avail.

2. Brewer is not a very good defender

3. Foye should not be a point guard

StraightCashHomey says:

November 6th, 2008 at 12:00 pm

Here’s me being Randy Foye on defense in overtime: [SCH watches his man catch the ball, closes out on him and overpursues, watches man drive past him for easy bucket.]

Sweet. What was Wittman saying in timeouts? “Make sure you don’t think of ANYTHING to do against the pick-and-roll guys, and you know what, don’t even bother trying to defend Tony Parker.”

Dave MN says:

November 6th, 2008 at 12:01 pm

SCH: You mean, you can’t pick the guys pocket every time? Randy Foye will hear nothing of it.

StraightCashHomey says:

November 6th, 2008 at 12:07 pm

Foye does have an intimidating “I’m going to steal the ball” arm swoop, but I guess you actually have to touch the ball for it to work.

I know, I know, that’s what she said.

Brandon says:

November 6th, 2008 at 12:16 pm

What may have been lost amidst my whining was that the game was really, really fun to watch.

God save my soul, I’m becoming a Timberwolves fanatic.

Dave MN says:

November 6th, 2008 at 12:17 pm

[Brandon dribbles a basketball across half-court, passes to nearest teammate on the perimeter, stands in place until possession is over.]

To be fair, they told him to “get into the post” and he interpreted it as “imitate a post”. Common mistake.

ramon says:

November 6th, 2008 at 1:03 pm

Duncan’s manlove of Love was almost lovable.

jama says:

November 6th, 2008 at 1:25 pm

Al Jefferson is one of the 5 worst defenders in the league.

Is playing a Zone Defense still legal? How much is the coach payed?

Jon says:

November 6th, 2008 at 1:27 pm

So we’ve got two guys who can score, one who can rebound, and nobody who can play defense. Sounds like 20-62 to me!

roughkat says:

November 6th, 2008 at 1:30 pm

Great. There goes our perfect attendance record. Who had game #3? My SELF seems to be the lucky charm so far since she’s the only person to witness a victory in person. Brandon has the next 2 home games so let’s hope things turn around.