By Michael Rand
Name: Atlanta’s Air Force. (Please watch the video before reading.)
Claim to Fame, Everywhere Else: this video, by T. Grose & the Varsity, is entitled “Nothing Can Stop Us We’re Atlanta’s Air Force.” It’s a fight song for your 1987 Atlanta Hawks. It is, by itself, justification for the Internet. This was featured in the Deadspin waaaaaaaaaaaaay back in 2006, but I missed it at the time. In my defense, nobody in Atlanta cares about the Hawks, either. I finally ran across it in an Idolator post about the transcendently crapulent Atlanta Thrashers victory song.
Claim to Fame, Minnesota: the resolution on the video is terrible, but I’m reasonably certain that at the 3:15 mark, in the background, you can see current (for now) T-Wolves coach Randy Wittman doing the bull dance, feeling the flow, working it. At the 4:00 mark, the person I presume to be Wittman dons some choice sunglasses and drops the chorus. I believe that is Tree Rollins standing next to him. Again, the Internet is a place of fearful wonders.
Where They Are Now: T. Grose goes by Tom Grose now, and yes, he has a MySpace page. He promises “unsmooth jazz for the post-melodic generation,” which is just a long way of saying “noise,” I think.
Glorious Randomness: things I’ve noticed after watching this a dozen times, with helpful times added for your viewing pleasure:
*(Numerous spots) No one in 1987 could dance. Didn’t matter your race, creed or gender. I was there. I remember it well. I blame Huey Lewis and his so-called “News.”
*(2:26) Saxophone Guy takes a solo. Punishing. I wonder if the suit came with Limahl’s haircut, of if he had to do that himself.
*(3:02) The entirely-too-satisfied-with-himself drummer, who’s already on thin ice with me because of the hexagonal drums and suspenders, cocks his eyebrow RIGHT AT THE CAMERA. [Redacted].
*(3:03) “Spud! Spud! You’re on! Do something!”
*(3:08) Jon Koncak lip-syncs like he’s being forced to read a list of grievances and demands from his captors.
*(Numerous spots) Mike Fratello’s hair. Look at that beautiful man-perm sway in the stale Omni air.
*(3:36) Ted Turner. Remember him? He used to own, like, everything