(Ed. note: this was originally sent to comrade Drew Magary in the spirit of a Monday Meltdown [he didn’t watch the Jacksonville game] but the noted author is, as they say, up against it in a short week. But we thought it would be a shame to waste what we sent. So here it is: Small game stories for the final five Vikings games, in advance. Please note that the part about Green Bay’s Monday night loss to New Orleans was written several hours before the beat-down actually took place. Good job, us. Now, read this and save yourselves 15 hours over the next five weeks):

Bears at Vikings: The Vikings jump out to a lead after a strong opening drive and a cashed-in turnover. Let’s say it’s 10-0. The Bears get back into it with a special teams touchdown (of course). That is followed by two quarters of dreadful football, with both teams making a field goal. It’s 13-10 Vikings going into the fourth quarter. The Bears drive deep but are stopped in the red zone. A field goal ties things up with 6 minutes left. The Vikings go three-and-out, but then the Bears do the same. With 2:20 left and the ball at their own 23, the Vikings scrape together enough mid-range passes and dump-offs to Chester Taylor to move the ball to the 31. With four seconds left, Ryan Longwell trots on and connects on a 49-yard field goal. Final score: Vikings 16, Bears 13. The Vikings have 245 yards of total offense. Gus Frerotte is 13 of 24 for 142 yards and two interceptions. Talk radio chatter intensifies regarding whether Gus should be benched even though he is 7-3 as a starter. Overall team record: 7-5.

Vikings at Lions: Daunte Culpepper throws an early TD pass and things look good for the Lions. But he follows that with two interceptions, one of which is returned for a score. It’s 17-14 Vikings at halftime. Detroit fumbles a Vikings punt early in the third quarter, and Adrian Peterson cashes in four plays later. Detroit gets a late TD but it’s not enough. Final score: Vikings 27, Lions 21. Adrian Peterson has 23 carries for 113 yards and a TD. Gus Frerotte is 16 for 28, 184 yards, one TD and one INT. Overall record: 8-5.

Vikings at Cardinals: Just when all the fans are getting very optimistic — even though the past three victories have been suspect for various reasons — Arizona’s short passing game and physical wide receivers carve up the Vikings for 378 passing yards en route to a 31-20 victory. Overall record: 8-6.

Falcons at Vikings: Matt Ryan is having a sensational rookie year and Michael Turner has proven to be a wise pickup. But this one is in the Metrodome, where weird things happen and pluck sometimes goes unrewarded. Ryan is hassled into a couple of uncharacteristic mistakes. Turner can’t get going between the tackles, and the Falcons turn to Jerious Norwood too late. Minnesota grinds out a 16-10 lead late in the third quarter. Then Gus Frerotte connects with Bernard Berrian on a 62-yard TD pass to create a cushion. The Vikings later add a field goal. Atlanta scores a late TD but misses the 2-point conversion. Final score: Vikings 26, Falcons 16. Overall record: 9-6.

Giants at Vikings: The storyline all week is that the Giants have nothing to play for, having already wrapped up home field advantage throughout the playoffs. But Tom Coughlin’s guys, remembering last year’s regular season finale under similar circumstances against New England, come ready to play. New York’s balanced offense and ferocious pass rush is exactly the kind of thing that works against the Vikings. They hassle Frerotte into five sacks and two INTS. New York controls the ball for 36 minutes and coasts to a 28-13 victory. Final record: 9-7.

Final summary: The Vikings, Bears and Packers all finish 9-7. They are all 1-1 against each other and 4-2 in the division. So we go to a third tiebreaker, which is record against common opponents. Thanks to Green Bay’s Monday night loss at New Orleans and Chicago’s stumble against Houston in the final week of the season, the Vikings narrowly win this, take the division and host a playoff game.

And then you may watch again.

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