ESPN flashed a statistic in the waning stages of last night’s NFL game between Jacksonville and Houston. In roughly the first 55 minutes, there were 16 points scored. In the final 5 minutes or so, there were 28 points scored. Given this was the final game on the final week of many regular seasons in fantasy football, we have to imagine many outcomes hinged directly on this garbage time scoring that never really had much of an impact on the outcome of the game. For us, it certainly did. With Steve Slaton gobbling up a pair of relatively meaningless scores, we were able to come back and win a game we probably had no business winning.

And: When you hear about fantasy football complaints — and they are growing louder and more frequent as more people reach a sort of boredom point with it because they’ve been doing it for several years now — one of the chief things is that fantasy too often rewards meaningless points and yards. So we propose a fantasy overhaul. What you do in the privacy of your own home — or even your own mind — is none of our business. Go ahead and keep dressing up like a lumberjack or a French maid or whatever. That’s not what we’re talking about here. We’re talking about a new way of scoring fantasy football that incorporates some of the principles of our ever-popular Meaningful Home Run Index. Basically, it would involve a sliding scale of points given to players based on the importance level of their actions. Score a touchdown to break a tie with 23 seconds left? Get the full amount of points, and perhaps even a bonus. Score a touchdown with 23 seconds left to cut the deficit to 48-17? Not so much. You only get a percentage of the yards and a percentage of the TD points. Sure, this would require some manual scoring, which would take us back to the good old days of 1995. But it would be worth it.

We will now wait for you to rip this proposal to shreds.

*A story that keeps on giving: According to the New York Post, the hospital, the New York-Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell Medical Center, failed to report the gunshot as required by law after hospital personnel recognized Burress, despite his checking in under a fake name — Harris Smith. He also told the hospital he’d been shot at an Applebee’s restaurant, the Post reported, citing unnamed sources.

His name is Harris Smith. And he shot himself because — what? — the quesadillas didn’t have enough dipping sauce? Ron Mexico’s story and name were more plausible.

*One compliment and one question, Henry Abbott: Thank you for not including the Timberwolves on the list of possible Stephon Marbury destinations, but is your list alphabetical by location name or the team’s nickname? That mid-list switcheroo caught us off guard. We read it very slowly, hoping not to see Minnesota. Then we got to the bottom and there were more teams! We were so terrified it would say Timberwolves. But it didn’t. So thanks. Just work on the alphabetizing.

*Fasola-link! 360 degree replays and how they will change sports.

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