StarTribune.com

Wednesday (Joel Przybilla’s grandmother, the crab dribble and the bacon weave) edition: Wha’ Happened?

Posted on January 7th, 2009 – 9:08 AM
By Michael Rand

baconweave.jpgWe will start with some news that might shock you: only two teams in the NBA are hotter than the Timberwolves right now. Yes, you heard that right. Minnesota won its third consecutive game last night — its first three-game winning streak in almost two years — and only Detroit (seven consecutive victories) and Denver (four) can claim to be on a greater roll than that. With OKC on the docket tonight — at 5-30, the Thunder have the league’s worst record — Minnesota is in position to dream of a fourth consecutive victory. Remember, we will be charting Brian Cardinal’s every move tonight. It will be so intense that a restraining order will be the only logical result.

*Remember Joel Przybilla? Sure you do. Monticello kid. Former Gophers player. Butted heads with Dan Monson. Didn’t get along with KG. Well, he was fined $7,500 the other day for his role in an NBA fight. His grandmother, though, is going to ensure the fight lingers on. From the Oregonian, via Sports by Brooks (and sent in by Toonces51):

Remember the movie “Shawshank Redemption”, where Andy Dufresne wrote a letter every week to the state to get books for the prison library? Well, the same concept is underway with the grandmother of Blazers center Joel Przybilla. The octogenarian plans to write NBA commissioner David Stern a series of letters complaining about the $7,500 fine Przybilla received for his part in an altercation with New Orleans center Tyson Chandler on Friday. “She said she is going to keep writing Stern until she hears back from him,” Przybilla said smiling. “And believe me, she will.

Update: The story has been advanced via intrepid reporting work by our own Paul Walsh.

*The LeBron James “crab dribble” saga (that’s apparently a real thing) wouldn’t have been nearly as funny without the Wizards players poking fun at it. Said Caron Butler: “Crab dribble’ is when you, uh, travel. That’s the hottest thing on the market right now.”

*And finally, the greatest thing ever. You might mock or doubt the crab dribble, but you should never do such a thing to The Bacon Explosion. Ingredients: 2 pounds thick cut bacon; 2 pounds Italian sausage; 1 jar of your favorite barbeque sauce; 1 jar of your favorite barbeque rub. Some of the key maneuvers: To kick off the construction of this pork medley you’ll need to create a 5×5 bacon weave. And: Now that you’re pork is well seasoned, it’s time to add more pork. Read the step-by-step instructions right here, complete with visual aids. Then tell us 1) how ridiculously delicious and unhealthy it looks and 2) what is the craziest, most delicious thing you have ever made for yourself?

Fasola-link! TV News music theme history.

12 Responses to "Wednesday (Joel Przybilla’s grandmother, the crab dribble and the bacon weave) edition: Wha’ Happened?"

fasolamatt says:

January 7th, 2009 at 9:14 am

As mentioned at the second anniversary Redactular, this Christmas gift was the gift that kept on giving one year.

The list of things that aren’t improved by bacon is very short. This subject was most recently addressed in our household over the weekend; C-Dog and Mrs F are reading the entire “Little House on the Prairie” series out loud, and Ma Ingalls made big fat jackrabbit for Thanksgiving somewhere in the middle of book five, roasting it with strips of salt pork on top…

MR says:

January 7th, 2009 at 9:22 am

Also, as Russo pointed out today, the Wild are 3-0-1 in their last 4 games, including 3 of the best teams in hockey and beating the top team from each conference. (Sharks and the Bruins)

JPF says:

January 7th, 2009 at 9:30 am

mmmmmmmmm, bacon!!!!!

I am somewhat a bacon snob and cannot eat bacon bought at the store. The only way to go is to buy a whole pig from the butcher. Fantastic.

newbie says:

January 7th, 2009 at 9:30 am

1) It does look delicious, but I had to [redacted] after just seeing the picture.

2) I don’t really eat too crazy, but I did hear about a guy that ate a whole kielbasa by himself, then I think he killed a guy. I don’t remember all the details.

Jon says:

January 7th, 2009 at 9:35 am

The list of things that aren’t improved by bacon is very short.

THINGS THAT ARE NOT IMPROVED BY BACON
- Ice cream sundae
- C.C. Sabathia
- Pound of flan
- 2007 Chevy Avalanche

roughkat says:

January 7th, 2009 at 9:48 am

Jon - I’m going to have to go ahead and disagree with you on one of those. I think that bacon could improve an ice cream sundae.

Captain America says:

January 7th, 2009 at 10:10 am

LeBron has crabs?

newbie says:

January 7th, 2009 at 10:11 am

I think this has to be a Randball FFB Draft staple, and I think it should be a combined draft party with Randball Lite.

Also, I think you have to borrow a defibrillator from the strib.

fasolamatt says:

January 7th, 2009 at 10:32 am

Flan + bacon doesn’t sound so bad, either.

Toonces51 of Zoneblitz.com says:

January 7th, 2009 at 10:43 am

Apparently Rand didn’t get that I was officially changing my name on the site.

Also, if you watch the video of Pryzbilla, it really is one of the best jobs of the old “Hold Me Back” trick I’ve seen in some time. Although, it might have been more convincing if he’d used someone other than the 5 foot 9 ref to do so…

lattewarrior says:

January 7th, 2009 at 11:23 am

Winter Sports Pantheon in M-SP:

5) Wolves
4) Gopher Basketball
3) Wild
2) Gopher Hockey
1) Bacon

AZGopherGirl says:

January 7th, 2009 at 11:57 am

Rand, this looks suspiciously like the first installment of a RandBall recipe exchange, and I want credit for the idea, damn it.