How much does a polar bear weigh?
Posted on January 22nd, 2009 – 11:13 AMBy Michael Rand
We have it on good authority that a Big Ten quarterback (not Adam Weber or any other member of the Gophers) was at a college party when he sauntered over to a couple of ladies (who recognized him). Without knowing their names or anything else about them, this is how he started the exchange:
QB: How much does a polar bear weigh?
Ladies: Um, what?
QB: How much does a polar bear weigh?
Ladies: Um, we have no idea.
QB: Enough to break the ice. I’m [Name Redacted].
In the annals of Big Ten athlete pickup stories that we’ve heard, that at least ranks favorably in comparison to the chap who long ago tried to convince a cafeteria worker that she was the special one by telling her, “How would you like to come cut oranges up in my room sometime?”
For some mid-day fun, though, we ask a couple of harmless questions:
1) Polar bear line: Opposable thumbs up or down?
2) Best and worst pick-up lines you have ever used/heard?
Keep it clean and come out boxing!
22 Responses to "How much does a polar bear weigh?"
1) The real question is how the ladies reacted after the line. I mean, I’m entertained by pick-up lines like anyone else, but their effectiveness generally depends on whether the ladies in question thought Mr. Weber was attractive prior to his use of the line. If so, he was in anyway and it seems charming. If not, then he’s an idiot who is trying to hard to be funny.
2) I think Rand asked some athletes at a banquet what they would do if a swarm of bees were to come down the hallway. That was the worst pick-up line ever.
trying to hard to be funny
Trying too hard. There are two o’s in too, stupid.
1) Awesomely good, but I have a lame sense of humor.
2) I’ve always been a big fan of: “So, do you like… stuff?”
1) Thumbs down. Used that one years ago. Get some new material. This is the Big 10, not some Division I Independent school. (Looking at you UND)
2) Best: You mean you’re drinking on Valentines by yourself? Let me get you another beer.
Worst: Would you like some candy little girl?
1) Cute
2) F**k me if I’m wrong, but you want to kiss me.
2) One night at The Independent (during my times of singledom) I was just sitting at the bar talking to a couple of women sitting next to me. There was a guy who was not terribly attractive, but extremely persistent working all of the women at the bar. He started working one of the women sitting next to me, and after a while she was making out with him. Then he walked away.
I asked her, “What was that all about?”, since she’d been complaining about the guy. She said, “I asked him if he’d leave me alone if I made out with him”
To this day, I still don’t understand what I was supposed to learn from that.
1) Not Bad
2) How bout we go back to my place to (redacted) and have pizza? Or don’t you like pizza?
I think he asked the question wrong. Aren’t you suppose to ask the girl how much they weigh?
This could be your problem jama…
And that’s the story of why jama’s nose is crooked and he’s missing a tooth.
“I think he asked the question wrong. Aren’t you suppose to ask the girl how much they weigh?”
Only at Alary’s
Only at Alary’s
Yeah, and then they ask you if you want to buy a beer.
…for yourself
Whoever had the idea for a NFL WR Reality show should have copyrighted it. It looks like we’re half way there.
“What do you say if we go out on a date? Have some chicken, maybe some sex… You know, see what happens.”
Whoever had the idea for a NFL WR Reality show should have copyrighted it.
[Redacted]!
Jama
Isn’t that how the Bears have been getting their QBs for the past 2 decades?
Joker: They put up a posting at a Chicago temp agency every April.
Dave
I think you’re confused. That’s how they were getting their coaches. Looking at you Dave Wannstedt and Dick Jauron
I’m not sure what went down faster, the Hindenburg or the Bears when Wannstedt was hired as coach.
In this economy, best line I can come up with is “Under your bridge or mine?”
My favorite was always: Would you like to go out for breakfast in the morning, shall I call you or nudge you.
