From The City Paper in Nashville (and sent in by Don S.):

An inmate in federal prison has filed a $23 million lawsuit claiming NASCAR is responsible for his laundry list of criminal activity, from speeding to credit card fraud.

Jonathan Lee Riches filed suit in U.S. District Court in Richmond, Va., stating that watching races “influenced him to speed … doing 135 mph and getting tickets.”

And that’s not all. He said his NASCAR addiction caused him to use “illegally obtained credit cards to attend races,” and once there, he used more stolen credit cards to purchase products hawked by race drivers.

“I used (Kyle) Petty’s Discover Card to buy Mark Martin Viagra,” states the tardy complaint. (Viagra no longer sponsors Martin’s car.)

Riches said he bought race tickets using credit cards that he admitted were fraudulent, “but the defendants insisted they did not care and encouraged me to buy Budweiser beer and funnel cake with more stolen funds.”

He concludes by claiming that Jeff Gordon’s Dupont-sponsored car “poisoned me with Dupont chemicals. I pray this court will grant my motions for relief. I don’t want to die in prison.”

There are too many jokes in here, so we’ll leave them all to you. We will say this: have any transgressions you would like to pin on local sports teams?

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 19th, 2009 at 1:08 pm and is filed under Main. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.