Lattewarrior earned his keep last week. And now, his reward: the Commenter Of the Week post. Sir?

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“We look like sheep from the front but from the back we look like shepherds.”

– Not a real quotation but should be

I’ve been fascinated with fads, trends and crazes dating back to my middle school years, when trousers (Marithe & Francois Girbaud), watch (Guess or Swatch), scent (Polo “Green” or Drakar Noir), sneakers (any Nikes with a see-through AIR sole) and hairstyle (spiked or slightly parted mullet) made the ironically effeminate, prepubescent man.

Even now, as a middle-aged man forever suspended in adolescence, I’m obsessed with what’s hot and what’s not. Avoid what’s hot unless you made it hot, I always never say.

Hypersensitive to fads and trends as I am, I still fall prey to their allure, which is why I closely monitor my Trendy Quotient (TQ) via a series of checklists, formulas and algorithms which focus on five main areas: Fashion, Music, TV, Sports and Technology.

In lay-randballer terms, you receive +1 for avoiding a fad or trend, -1 for joining a fad or trend, and +2 for pioneering a fad or trend. (Note: Fads differ from trends but rather than turn this into an exercise in semantics, we’re lumping the two together. Deal with it, wordsmiths. Also, the following evaluation system is neither an algorithm nor a quotient.)

A few examples:

Fashion

Pink +2
Argyle +2
Dress shirts with elaborate embroidery +1
Crocs +1
Low-rise skinny jeans +1
Visors -1

TQ = +6

Sports

NASCAR +1
Poker -1
Fantasy Sports +2
Mixed Martial Arts +1
Soc-cer -1
Sabermetrics -1

TQ = +1

Technology

Facebook -1
Blogging -1
Twitter -1
Illegal File Sharing -1
Blackberry +1 (subject to change any minute)
-1
Video Resume +1

TQ = -2

It gets a little tougher for Music and TV, but Stu would receive +2 for Elbow and Brandon would receive +2 for How I Met Your Mother. AZGG would get +2 for The Hills and Millionaire Matchmaker and nearly every Randballer would (falsely) claim +2 for The Hold Steady and My Morning Jacket.

So, in which categories are you most/least trendy? Remember, if you help raise the profile of self-trendiness analysis you get +2.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 3:26 pm and is filed under Main. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.