By Michael Rand
There will be dancing next year in San Antonio. Oh, yes, there will be dancing. There will be skimpy costumes, hot pants and plenty of moments that cross the line of what constitutes family entertainment. But first: there will be a lot of [redacted] work. And even more [redacted] paperwork.
See, if you want to be a Silver Dancer (sorry, we can’t make the “A” out of a shapely woman like they do in the picture), first it’s a good idea to sign up for the preparatory classes. Sure, the NBA season doesn’t start until around the first of November. But the prep classes start next week. We’re not saying you have to go. But you do want this, don’t you? You do want to learn the moves, yes?
Then, you’re going to have to fill out a pretty standard waiver. Wait, what’s that?
I expressly assume all risk of injury (including permanent disability and death) arising out of my performance, howsoever caused or arising and accept personal responsibility for the damages following such injury, permanent disability, or death.
Hey, this isn’t just about mingling at post-game parties with Manu Ginobli, ladies! OK, now auditions are Aug. 1. Beforehand, though, you’ll need to complete this two-page registration. You’ll need to send in a full-body photo AND a head shot. We cannot be more clear about this. You’ll need to be at least 19 by Nov. 1. Old enough to party! We’ll need three references. Your goals. Hopes and dreams.
Sabrina, why don’t you go over there and dance a little. Wear this:
1. Top – Sports Bra / Half Top
2. Shorts – Hot Pants / Biking Shorts (NO PANTS)
3. Shoes – Tennis Shoes / Dance Shoes
4. Performance Makeup
5. NO Pantyhose
The photos you send in will not be returned. We’re not saying what will happen with them. Good luck.